SAHMing a job?

I have split views on this....at one point i do think it is a hard job and you have to do way too much at one time, and then on the other hand I have been a sahm and I watched tv went where i wanted with my kid, didnt have to clean my house if i didnt want to, and didnt feel overwhelmed when i came home from work to a dirty house, well because a dirty house was my work. I do sympathize though because it is exhausting to see your kid 24-7 everyday and never get that time to go somewhere else without him/her. I think it is a hard job though and whoever stays home should get a salary....

I agree it is work but I see it as more a responsibility then a job, as in, you shouldn't get paid for it. Me cooking me and my kids dinner does not put me on par with a chef, nor does my cleaning put me on par with a maid. An actual job is where you go out and you do things for other people and those people pay you for what you do. Being a SAHM is work yes, but not a job, as the people you are "servicing" are your children and thus your responsibility.

And a lot of people don't realize that working single mothers end up doing mostly the same things as well as a regular 9-5 job, what a lot of people have to fit throughout the day in terms of cooking and cleaning, a working single mother will have to fit into a 3-4 hour time period when she gets home.

(I say single mothers, because partnered mothers such as myself still get help in the workload. What I do right now is still tough, but I have it easy compared to others in the fact that I get help with it, as well as support with it)

Personally I think the more children the more work I see it as anyways. I've done the SAH thing with one kid and it was easy peasy for me, to the point where I was bored to tears because I'd often have everything done by 11 am and not know what to do with the rest of my day. I just didn't feel like I was doing much at all, and I hate being idle. I ended up going back to work way earlier then I had to (I get 12 paid months off in Canada, but only took 4) because I was about ready to start hitting my head into walls. I need the 9-5. Now that I'm hitting it again where I'm going to need to take maternity leave I think I'll end up doing more work then the first time because I'll have a second kid, I'll have to juggle a 4 year old and a newborn, but I still think I'll only take 4-5 months off before I head back into work. I like being busy, and going to work all day then rushing home and making dinner and cleaning the house and bathing the boy, I feel like I'm always doing something, and that's how I like it.

But like I said, the work changes with how many children you have, and how old they are. I'd see it as being more work with a mother who is homeschooling 3 kids then a mother who is at home with 1 who's not old enough for school.

(and I say I don't think they should get paid because who is going to pay you? They are your children. In a career or job you get paid BY the people you are doing the work for, with being a SAHM you are doing the work for your children, they obviously cannot pay you, but like I told someone else, you get paid in hugs and kisses and more time with your kids, and that's great) I'm not trying to say it can't be hard work, more that we chose the responsibility and I don't think it should be salaried as it's something we are doing for ourselves and our children.

I that it is harder when you work outside the home, because you still have to come home and cook clean and make dinner for you kiddo after you just spent 10 hours working for someone else.......So therfore it is like having 2 full time jobs and if your single make that 3......

I, personally, couldn't just be a SAHM. I like getting out, interacting with others (even if it's work and/or school). I think it's working, but not in the conventional way. But you are also, if you do work or go to school, doing the same types of things a SAHM does, especially if you live by yourself and just your kido.

SAHMing is definitely hard work. (I found it VERY boring with one little baby though- but I know that the work increases when the kiddo gets older or when there are more than one.) I personally think SAHM have significantly more housework than moms who work during the day though- it's mentioned by the PP that working single mamas do all the work a SAHM does in a shorter time period. But, if you are working you aren't taking care of the kiddo during the day as well, cleaning up messes as they go, doing laundry as they pee in the bed during nap, etc. So it's not quite a comprable work load, although single mamas definitely still have the most work to do overall and I'm not trying to take away from that (I was a single mama till my kiddo was 18 months but had a lot of support from various resources.)
I continued to go to college full time after I had my kiddo (I took a short break when she was a baby and took a few summers mostly off) and I would say that going to school was a lot easier than staying home with her due to various factors. However, we couldn't afford much daycare so I'd be with her either mornings on MWF and all day T,TH or all day M,W,F due to the longer classes on T, TH. I was home part time and at school "full time" (which was only like 15 hours a week for me). I did really well with the part time SAHM situation and now only wish there were more job ops for part time work.
Now I work as a live in nanny/housekeeper for a SAHM though. She does extremely little housework- often doesn't even bother throwing away dirty diapers, dental floss, etc. I think that this sort of SAHMing isn't very challenging, when you have someone to clean up all the messes and help diffuse situations. Her kids are also at various lessons and classes throughout the week so that would be very helpful as well. Oh, and she has a nanny (me haha) so she can pretty much do whatever she wants.
I skimmed a book by Caitlin Flanagan once... "To Hell with all that" which I thought was awful but sort of talked about what it's really like to be a wealthy SAHM- noting that she doesn't do any housework and just plays with her kids. Janet Elway (John Elways ex wife, he won a few super bowls in Denver) once came to a group I go to and talked about how she tried so hard not to hire any help so it would make her more of a "real mother" which I though was interesting. So I guess the moral of this really long post is that SAHMing is definitely hard work, but there are also levels of it, and I'm willing to bet that poor SAHM have it significantly harder than other mamas. Oh, I do think the gov't should give stipends for SAHM- I think stipends/tax breaks SOMETHING should be given for all childcare workers (which includes SAHMs) though.

Being a SAHM is a responsibility, not a job. It doesn't get a paycheck because the service you provide is for your own family unit.

I can babysit kids and make money, because someone needed their kids looked after while they did other things. When I do that I provide a service for someone else that they have a monetary value for.

Cleaning the house is the same thing, people do get paid to do it outside the home but in the home the service you are providing is for yourself.

This does not mean that being a SAHM is less valuable than working outside the home at all, it just means that you can't put a monetary value on raising your own kids. I know I get paid more in hugs, kisses, seeing their first everythings, playing with them, getting to know them, etc than any money could match.

I think it cheapens the value to try and put a price tag on it, and can be offensive to those who work outside the home by insinuating that they do not cook or clean just because they aren't home 24/7.

I don't see SAHMs as a childcare worker though or on par with those who work at a daycare facility. Yes both are doing similar things, but one is doing it for children whom they have absolutely no responsibility to and therefore should be compensated and one is doing it for her own children which are her responsibility.

Just a note though in Canada instead of putting money towards improving daycare centres and opening up spaces like they were supposed to (Rarr) the new conservative government decided instead to pay each household $100 a month per child, so that SAHM's got a piece of the pie as well. Which isnt' so bad in itself, except that the money had already been earmarked and now daycare centres are falling apart and closing all over the country without notice and without backups as all daycares now have waitlists of 6-12 months, leaving parents without any form of childcare, they can't pay workers enough so the level of worker that they get is poor quality, people who have no experience with child care, and the turnover rate is amazing.

I think SAHM is as much work as any job but the as the pp said im perfectly fine with not being paid. Seeing my kids grow before my eyes and getting hugs and kisses is my payment. When you stay home you have to pick up behind the trail your child makes along with constant dishes and entertainment. i've done the work thing and now im a SAHM/part time student. I wouldn't go to work if I didn't have too because i love staying home with my kids. I have a lot of friends who are also SAHM's and we go to the park and lunch at our houses and our kids keep each other busy and we keep each other busy. but if I didn't have anyone around during the day I agree it could get very boring very quick.

IMO, Being a SAHM of say, three kids can be very difficult, but being a SAHM of one is pretty easy compared with having to work for someone else all day and cone home to take care of your kids at night.

i too am a live in nanny but my bosses are truck drivers and arent home for months at a time. I am basically a sahm to someone elses kids full time 24-7.....you arent a childcare worker if you are a sahm.....your children are your responsibility regardless....a child care worker is someone who takescare of others children...

I agree with this (which is why parents pay daycare centers) but I also think the people who take care of children (all of them) should get a bit of extra money (or something, like free preschool). I read somewhere (GAH I hope I remember what it was it was good) that talks about how mothers give their extra resources for the betterment of their children (and interesting contrasted to what fathers do, totally OT though). I guess I believe it would raise the value of children as a whole in society which is IMO important. But, I'd rather see improvements in health care first.

Turnover in childcare is always really high (at least in the states) because childcare workers get shit respect and pay. It sounds like your new gov't is fucking up pretty well as a whole from what I understand.

lmfao yeah, the conservatives have really thrown a lot of things down the shitter. That's what the country gets for hiring in a cowboy who wants to be just like Bush, though.

It's funny though because when the liberals were in power the daycare situation was so much better, daycare had more government funding in tune with the rest of incomes so the turnover rate wasn't actually that bad, but now with less funding daycare workers are making about 12 an hour whereas they can go down the street and work at McDonalds or the grocery store with a starting rate of 14. So many of my favorite workers left in favor of walmart, and you know when that starts to happen that the situation is pretty bad because walmart is hardly a high payer.

Agreed. I don't think I should be paid to take care of my own family unit.

Also in agreement there.

why in god's name would anyone aspire to that? :shock:

I'm a SAHM, but we also have a farm, so I could qualify as a WAHM I guess.

I definetely think that being a SAHM is work, but I agree with pp, that it's also a responsibility so I don't expect to be paid.

I think being at home is what you make of it though.... You can go full throttle, or you can slack off. Your choice. I need full-throttle. I need to hit my sheets, exhausted. So I make my life that way....

I know mentally it's harder to get that stimulation. But you work at that. I do a lot of reading at night when Ais is in bed, let's put it that way. But I'm looking into some online courses... just because of how far I am out of town.

But as far as physically bored.... it never happens. I think that's where SAHM's can really range. I cook everything from scratch, because I can... and I like it better.... nothing in our house is boxed, but Neil's EXTRA cereal he can't live without. I sometimes get a call that I'm having 6 men arrive for supper, in an hour... let's just say I do a lot of freezing of pre-made stuff.... (There goes my clean kitchen and clean bathroom!)

I bake everything from scratch, and I do that a couple times a week... It doesn't last long.... those brownies glasses makes are awesome.. they don't last long! ;)

And then there is all the regular cleaning....

And when that's done, I have a massive garden.

With that comes planting, weeding, picking, composting, freezing, and canning. And most of my outdoor work I do before Ais is up, so Neil's still here.

Cows... all the regular stuff. Most stuff isn't ongoing... except feeding, and rotating. We don't brand, but we do tag, and vaxe. And then there's calving.

And then there's the horses.....

And then there's a list as long as my arm of "crap" jobs I don't want to do... like cut grass, and fix bins.

And then there's Ais... who is my helper, and who I schedule my day around.... As far as I'm concerned.... "SAHM, the pay is lousy, the benefits are superb." I get to enjoy the aspects that mommy2chloerae mentionned, which you can't put a price tag on. And that helps me on days when it's rough... I'll get this time with Ais, once, and I'm lucky I that I get to have this opportunity.

I don't expect to be paid for what I do.... because it's my choice to be here. If I wanted a paycheque, I'd go back to the bank. I like what I do in my days.... some days are great and things go smoothly, some days I want to scream!!!! One thing I do expect though is that Neil and his family will appreciate what I do. Especially Neil. I basically finance my staying home, by doing the stuff we'd have to hire someone for, and cutting our food budget in half, twice, from when I worked. Given, he's got a cash flow ability to handle what we need cash flow for, but he KNOWS I am pulling my weight. And he let's other people, who think SAHM's do nothing, know what I accomplish in a day.

I think if more SAHM's got that appreciation from their famillies, and those closer to them, we'd be a bit more content.

Oh, I think the book is called "The Price of Motherhood- Why the Most Important Job in the World is Still the Least Valued" by Ann Crittenden. It also talks about the daycare situation in the states to some extent.
I guess I believe that while children are definitely the responsibility of primarily the parents, all of them are also to some extent the responsibility of society. Like our own health is our own primary responsibility, I believe our government should provide some level of primary care, especially for those who can't get it. It betters society as a whole...

I can agree with SAHM being more of a responsbility then a job. My mom has been one her whole life. While my sister & I were growing up, she had two more kids with my step-dad and never did much with us, unfortunately ... I kind of took over the mom role for my sister. But now she does more things with the two younger kids, like schoolwise and everything. She's enjoyed it.

I can say it seems like a lot of work and something I could NOT do and be competely happy with. I need to be around adults and I would get burnt out, I think. I like working and going to college. If someone wants to, that's cool with me, I think it's a completely valid choice.

Yeah, I enjoy spending time around adults too. I get bored sooo fast when I'm home all day. Thats one of the reasons I go out a lot. A and I go everywhere. I really enjoy spending my time with him a lot, but I like some *me* time too. I think I have a good balence because I'm happy with it.

I agree. Even if it's meeting friends for some coffee (which I did a lot in Mpls) and bringing Lyric with. She would have fun.

Yeah, I go out a lot and bring Aaron with me. It's like...we both need the fresh air, lol.

yes i think sahm is job and it the best job in the world and i love doing so dont have any complaints