I have a two year old son named Michael and I conceived him the night that i lost my virginity. The father and me are no longer together but we are still so close and still care for each other. Well it has been about two years since I have had sex so I enlisted the help of a very close guy friend to break that dry spell. We had sex. Then THREE days later the father of Michael and I hook up. For the first time in two years we just do it. I just found out two days ago that I am pregnant and I'm not sure which one is the dad. I'm almost sure It's Micheal's dad's baby but i'm not sure. and I'm afraid of telling the wrong guy. HELP!?!?
First of all, do you know whether or not you want to continue the pregnancy?
If you are planning to continue your pregnancy, you should talk to your doctor about prenatal paternity tests. It looks like you can either get one via an amniocentesis test (15-20 weeks in), or in a chorionic villus sampling(10-13 weeks in). Do you know how far along you are? If you've gotten a positive pregnancy test, you're probably at least four weeks along already. It's possible that you could get a paternity test done fairly soon, thus removing the uncertainty.
Also, why do you feel sure that it's Michael's dad? If they were three days apart, it could really be either one. Do they know about each other? Could you have an open conversation about what's going on with each of them? I think that might help your situation, in any case.
Also, I just realized that I'm not sure I've seen you post before.
You should definitely head over to greetings and salutations to introduce yourself, and make sure to read the stickies and announcements so that you can get a sense of what this site is all about. Welcome to girlmom!
I've been wanting another little one. My little Michael is getting all grown up. ( 3 in march) and I'd definitely want to continue the pregnancy, especially if it is Michael's dad's baby.
I'm four weeks late, so maybe six weeks ish?!?. Its hard to keep track. Me and Michael's father didn't use protection, (stupid i know, but it was spur of the moment). They don't know each other at all. i'm thinking about getting an Amino paternity test. And I'm not really all that new. Been here like 11 weeks or so, I just usually watch instead of post.
= ) thanks for your help.
Congrats on the pregnancy. I have a daughter about the same age as your son (3 at the end of Feb) and am five weeks pregnant, so it's neat to see someone with kids roughly the same age. Good luck with the paternity testing situation. Hilary found a good summary, but be sure to talk to your midwife/OB about your options, too. Good luck, and I hope to see more of you around the boards.
Michael's birthday is march 2nd! and thank you. I can't wait to get it all sorted out so that I can just started getting excited that i'm having a baby.
welcome and good luck with everythihng, its a tough situation. did you use prtection with your guy friend? Well congrats on the new pregnancy, and try not to stress too much, although easier said and done. i have an almost 3 y.o as well although mine is older, he will be 3 at the end of aug.
Yes. My guy friend is a protection freak. I'm talking spermicidal lube + spermicidal condom. lol. I hope to be able to relax soon. Just hoping its Brandon's baby. (michael's dad)
Honestly if I used a condom and spermicide with one and no protection with the other I would just assume your BD is the next one's BD as well. The odds that he's not are just so slim, ya know?
Congrats and welcome!
The odds of a condom w/spermicide failing as a form are birth control aren't actually as slim as most people assume. The stats out are misleading (not wrong, just misleading) b/c they are too vague (99% chance of not getting pregnant per what? Per time you have sex? That gets to a pretty high failure rate pretty quickly if you're having sex regularly). Women trying not to conceive should really use two forms of birth control. Condoms alone (yes, I do mean with spermicide) are frequently not enough to prevent pregnancy.
Obviously, in this case, using the condom with one and nothing with the other, there's a much greater chance of conception without any kind of protection, so I'm not actually disagreeing with you. I just know there's a common misconception about that, and I'd rather put it out there, you know?
Yeah, that's true. As far as I know condoms are only about 85% effective. (Did you ever see that episode of Friends where they find out Rachel's preggo and they all read the side of a condom package and they're all surprised that the effectiveness is so low? I LOLed! So many people really don't know that.) I'm not really sure about effectiveness when you add spermicide to the mix though.
But I do think in this context it's safe to assume who the dad is. Not 100% of course, but I would bet fairly comfortably on it. LOL!
Yes I understand, I think that it is like 99% possible that Michael's father is this baby's father as well.
People often use condoms incorrectly. The 12% failure rate (12% of women using condoms as a primary form of birth control will become pregnant in a year) includes people who use condoms incorrectly at least some of the time. People who use condoms PERFECTLY have failure rates at only 1-2% each year. If you are going to use condoms as a method of birth control, make sure you are using it correctly. I think it's extremely unfair to use the 12% failure rate statistic unless when you talk about the failure rates of other forms of birth controls you also include people who are not using it correctly (like people who are taking their birth control pills consistently, etc...)
I wasn't talking about the 12% failure rate b/c condoms are used incorrectly often. I was talking about the 1-2% failure rate. I always thought that seemed low until I took a statistics class in which we looked at birth control effectiveness. The numbers are misleading, even if they are technically true. For the record, I recommend using two forms of birth control, regardless of your method, if you definitely don't want to get pregnant.
To clarify (well, this is kind of obvious, but to make a more inclusive statement) I'm talking about sex with a partner with whom you are able to conceive.
Crisysue,
Any updates? Have you talked to your care provider yet?
Yes I've seen my OB/GYN and we have decided to take an amnio paternity test at 15 weeks. I've also spoken with Brandon (Michael's father) and My guy friend. So I feel so much better that everything is out in the open.
that you are mother of a two year old boy! HOLY COW!
Hey, do these girls know about Astrid?
Ready for some screenshots? :)
someone else?.... You might want to tell him.
Have you shown these girls your blog?
:D this is awesome. Cant wait to showwwww them.
Just a word from the wise, you PROBABLY shouldnt advertise the website your *trolling* on to your blog, where members of babycenter community watched you LIE about delivering a premature infant and KILLING that fake baby.
Ugh, when will you LEARN?!
We are already aware of the blog and of the discrepancies in CrisySue's stories and have been discussing a course of action.
CrisySue, would you like to explain yourself? You have twentyfour hours to give a straight story and to prove that you are who you say you are or you will be banned.
MommyKatie please introduce yourself in the greetings and salutations forum if you would like to be part of our site.
to all Girlmom members for stirring up your community. I just would HATE to see you all go through what us over in babycenter community have went through.
Crisy, please, GET A REAL HABIT. Stop lying about being a mother and being pregnant, its not FUNNY anymore! And if you REALLY persist and lie here, too, I'll dig through TNMS and find where you ADMITTED to it.
*TNMS = babycenter community group that Crisy adamently lied to about being pregnant.
Want a little background info, everybody?...
Crisy comes onto babycenter. She befriends a bunch of girls, myself included. She claims to be 20-some weeks pregnant. People call her out on being substantially tiny for her gestational age. She claims it is because she is a diabetic...
Then, at 24 weeks, she spontaneiously delivers her daughter, Astrid, via c-section. She provided pictures of "Astrid." She only gave us 4 of them. We ALL knew she was lying...
Two weeks passed, and Crisy comes to tell everyone that Astrid had passed away from SIDS, later changing her story to a pulmonary embolism in her left lung.
The members of TNMS and I began searching for proof of her lies. I found a stolen ultrasound picture, that she claimed as her own. (I will provide a proof screenshot of this momentarily.)
My friend found a picture of "Astrid"... from two freaking years ago. It was someone else's kid, born at 26 weeks gestation.
Finally, Crisy came out and said it was all... A SCHOOL PROJECT.
She created a DEAD BABY for a "school project"?!
Needless to say, there was no school project.. She just likes lying. This girl JUST turned 15 a month ago.
-sigh-
Really Crisy? Is this absolutely necessary?
Because I'll win. I have the proof. You DONT HAVE A SON thats two years old!
Generally the way to address something like this is to send a PM to one of our moderators (adcaela, CanadianMama, or ModSquad). They will be able to decide the appropriate course of action. We've certainly had trolls before, and appreciate it when other communities try to help us out in identifying them, but we also like to keep this sort of drama off the main boards as much as possible.
that post, adcaela.
I will introduce myself right now.. Thank you :)
It gives me this message:
Access denied
You are not authorized to access this page.
strange, I just checked you access and if you can post here you should be able to post there... maybe try one more time and let me know if it is working.
Wow! thats all i can say. what is going on w ith all of this?
CrisySue has not touched base at all and is now banned.