so I know a lot of you mamas here have been thru this and I need help like you wouldn't believe...
heres the info as of now. We are Seperating but not signing a seperation agreement as of yet. I have Xander Monday thru Friday and he has him Saturday and Sunday. We are on okay terms as of right now but had a HUGE blow out the other night about CS. I told him I wanted to file paper work on everything just so it was documented and to protect me from him and vice versa. He was okay until I started talking about CS. He thinks less than $200 a month is okay. Um not okay with me.
Fast Foward. I have downloaded all my paperwork. I am so freaking confused. Petitioner and Respondent, commissioner, acknowledgments of paternity - seriously my head is spinning. My questions are (hopefully that he won't try to fight me on all this and it will go thru!):
how do they determine child support? everything gives me percentages but does it go by what it costs to feed, diaper, cloth, house your child and the time you spend with them???
who the hell is the commissioner?? should i file my CS paperwork as individual or commissioner???
do i need a certified copy of the acknowledgment of paternity or can i send in the copy they sent me with the BC?
who did you get to serve BD? It says i have to get someone over 18 thats not related to either of us to serve him.
thanks mamas. My head is spinning and i seriously want to pull my hair out. Oh yea let me know how you survived it and what helped you thru. thanks so much....
I work in family law so PM me any questions you may have. Let me know what county you live in so i can look at procedures around there.
by the way,
If you file the original petition you are the petitioner. he is the respondent.
If he pays child support he will be the obligor and you the obligee.
If you file the original petition you will always be the petitioner. If he goes to file a counter-petiton he will still be the respondent.
You can get the sherriff to serve him. It cost 20$ here and you have to make a money order out to the sherrif and go down to the station or your courthouse may accept it along with the summons paperwork.
You can also do a answer and waiver where you can personally serve him.
I dont know if your county allowes this though. My county doesnt even recognize a legal seperation unless its part of a injuction for protection so im not too much help there.
If i dont personally know i have access to the clerk inerpersonal website so i will try to look it up for you.
Just joined and am browsing around but can I just say "I hear ya!" I'm filing my own divorce too, and I often want to pull my own hair out. Are there any resources in the area that offer free legal assitance? You might want to check it out. Good luck and PM me if you need anything! :)
Mellie
The whole thing is that we are not divorced yet... So right now I am filing for everything to protect myself from him. My mother works for a law firm (but doesn't deal with family law...) so she has been kinda helping me get the paperwork.
I live in Orange County, NY. I don't really have to worry about serving him b/c I work for a police dept. So if I need to have him served I can always have one of the guys I work with do it or someone they know from another dept.
heres my commissioner question. which of these forms should i fill out? My husband signed the acknowledgment of paternity form when Xander was born and I just have to call and get the orginial form from the city tomorrow.
http://www.courts.state.ny.us/forms/familycourt/pdfs/4-18.pdf
http://www.courts.state.ny.us/forms/familycourt/pdfs/4-18a.pdf
whats the difference? who is the commissioner? the woman told me to fill out the 4-18a so I am soooo confused. Thanks for all the help mama.
It looks like you'll want to fill out the 4-18 (not the 4-18a).
It appears the 4-18a is to be used when the state social services are collecting child support, most likely for foster care services.
The forms are way confusing, and NY is def different from CA. Is there a legal aid clinic nearby? I know we have some out here that are set up monthly and attorneys just assist in completing the appropraite forms for your matter.
thanks. I haven't looked into legal aid but I plan on going down possibly on Tuesday or Wednesday and filing the paper work so... thanks for all the advice mamas... yea NY sucks...