For years I have thought about surrogacy and now the time has come. I have just recently offered the use of my uterus to a lady and her husband who have been ttc for the last 11 years with no success. We met a while back and have spent a lot of time getting to know each other - we seem to be on the same page for the important stuff which is fantastic. They have 1 little embie left on ice which they would love to give a chance so heres hoping that embie grabs my uterus and hangs on for a 9 month long ride! The process here requires counseling over 2/3 months then for GS an application has to be made to the ethics committee - if they approve then great it can go ahead if not then you need to reapply later on once you've meet all their extra criteria. I am super excited to take this journey and to give my new friend what she has tried so long and hard for. I have talked to my girls about it (aged 4 and 5) and they seem absolutely fine with the idea, they understand it's not our baby (I am super confident in my decision not to expand my family, I am truly done) so that is awesome. I need to arrange my counseling appointments and we are hopeful that we can get everything sorted in time for the July ethics committee meeting (they only meet a few times a year.) Anyway that is where I am at in life. Oh and I start a couple of new jobs soon in addition to my community role helping pregnant and recently pregnant women - on Monday I am meeting with coordinator for a suicide bereavement support worker role, everything seems positive for this and then on Tuesday I start my coordinator position for a Teen Parent organization we have, I am super excited to start this role!
Good for you! That's so exciting, and I bet that you will do really well at it.
I've thought about surrogacy too, from time to time, and I've been considering it more seriously recently. I don't know, though, if I would be a good candidate, since I sometimes have trouble keeping emotional distance from things. I've been wrestling with how I would feel about it, and I certainly wouldn't become a surrogate unless I felt confident that I could do right by the parents and feel good in the process. It's really hard for me to tell whether I'd be able to go through a full pregnancy & birth without feeling the excitement of a baby coming. I'm not sure if I'm making sense, here . . .
I think the requirements are different between Canada and the U.S. It sounds like the counseling/ethics committee/etc. probably help to rule out people who would not be good matches. Would you get paid for it or would it be something you'd do entirely to help the couple ttc?
Anyway, very cool. I wish you luck with it.
Good luck mama! The process seems like it can be pretty physically and emotionally draining. I know you have to do a lot of hormonal stuff toget your cycle right and increase the chance that it will work. I know another girlmom who is a little further ahead in the process and it's seemed like a roller coaster just following the updates from afar. I would consider being a surrogate in the future, but not until after I have the one more baby that's want. I think I'd be too jealous of the intended parents. :)
I haven't done surrogacy but I have done egg donation and it was incredibly rewarding. I figured I would be a good candidate because I already know my body makes good babies hah. I went through an agency so it was anonymous - but the family chose to give me a necklace and beautiful card in return for helping them with their dream of having a baby (they sent it through the agency.)
Anyways I had to go through a lot of that hormonal stuff too - giving myself shots, fertility drugs - it can cause some mood swings and side effects for sure - but I found the whole thing fascinating and was glad I made the choice. Surrogacy of course takes it to a whole other level. Congrats on your decision and I hope it goes well.
Here in NZ surrogacy must be an altruistic decision, the Intending Parents can only cover medical costs. I know without a doubt I do not want anymore children and I think I can emotionally distance myself because it isn't genetically related to me at all, I'm just the oven so to speak. The drugs side worries me a bit because I like I'm not into drugs/chemicals etc but I figure this couple have been trying for the last 11 years and if I can give them their much desired baby then it definitely it worth it in the grand scheme of things. Hopefully I can stick to oral drugs and not jabs!
Congratulations! Commendable decision. I definitely couldn't do it (my body handled birthing and breastfeeding, but does not handle pregnancy well at all. The extra hormones make me incredibly sick the entire time.) but if I could, I would. I think it's a wonderful gift to give someone if you can handle it.
Question: I don't know all the laws/regulations about such things, especially in NZ, but this would put you in a good spot for milk donation. Have you given any thought to that for post-pregnancy?
I had such trouble breastfeeding my own 2 that I ended up on drugs to bring my milk on. Then I started thinking about the effect the drugs would have on them so stopped. If I could produce enough then I'd def look into milk donation - we have an awesome milk donation page set up over here but first and foremost would be donating the breastmilk to the little bubba which the parents are happy with. d