Sometimes I get so angry, out of nowhere, for no reason. Most of the time I'm happy and everything's great, and then I will just feel so mad out of nowhere. Usually the feeling coincides with feeling extremely lonely. I just get super irritable, and want my kids to leave me alone, and want someone to pay attention to me. But there is no one. So then I just yell at my kids. Then I hate myself for it. I just want to walk out the door, but where would I go anyway? Sit in a bar and flirt with random strangers? That would make me feel worse. There is no solution, except to know that the feeling will pass. Then I just want to cry. I hate these moments.
How many years can a person go through their life feeling like no one loves them? How can a person give enough love to their kids when no one loves them? I wish somebody loved me. Other than my kids. I'm a good person and I deserve love. Why do I have to be alone?