Okay so a lot of this is in my LJ and I haven't been posting about it here but I need advice NOW...
So my husband and I have split up and we are not divorced or anything just seperated. Nothing has been signed not even a seperation agreement. We were going to sign a settlement agreement that outlines custody and CS and just some basic things that we has agreed on. Well I typed up a settlement agreement and I gave him the copy on sunday and told him I needed his signature notorized by today so I could go to family court and file paperwork just to make everything we already agreed on offical.
Well first off about a week ago he decided 17% was too much for CS. So I said fine I was pissed but like I figured we could just go to court and a judge could decide. Well now last night he said he didn't understand the settlement agreement and he wasn't signing it. I was pissed and then later he called and said he wants to see xander more. In the agreement I have him Monday thru friday and he has him friday thru sunday and can visit whenever it is okay with the two of us during the week. Well now he is talking full custody. I have to drop him off on Friday and so I am worried I won't get him back. Should I go file for temporary custody tomorrow? I am filing everything on friday but should i do it tomorrow just to be safe? I am so worried and I am stressing myself out beyond belief. Please give me some advice on what I should do b/c I have no clue. Can we figure out visitation without an agreement? thanks for the advice mamas.
hey still wanna move?
The rule with divorse is he who files first always gets more.
Not to say you are trying to get anything but when and doubt FILE!
Especially if he is going back on a previously arranged custody and support arrangement.
You should state that you want the courts to decide the amount of support paid. they are fair and go by income. Make sure you have an idea of his income because if he tries to lie on his financial affidavit you can call him on it. If you have more questions i will try to help.
You being in another state makes it hard because laws and procedures vary from state to state.
I think you should go in a file for temporary custody until everything is figured out through the cout system. It sounds like your husband is going to try to turn the wheels so that they focus more on him, and that doesn't sound like what you want. You need to get the court to figure everything out, and until then, you can legally have Xander in your custody without your boyfriend saying anything.
I responded in your journal, but I'm going to xpost.
File for temporary custody immediatley and file for child support concurrently.
Attorney's are expensive. He wants to fork over the $3000+ for a retainer and is contesting child support? Fuck that.
Well I just got home from my 2 hours at family court. heres the update...
I filed everything - child support and custody
I can get an attorney for free from my mama's firm so i am not worried. she also looked over all my paperwork for me... :)
I know all his financial stuff since i have his tax returns :)
I can't file for temporary custody - i guess in NY unless DSS is involved you can't go for temporary custody so i am hoping for the best...
I did put on the CS paperwork that he is not paying now so that I will get back support when it all goes thru.
I didn't tell him I was going until after it was done. He is PISSED but I couldn't care less. I did what I had to do for Xander and I. I am just hoping he doesn't try to contest it... ugh men...
thanks for all the advice and help mamas. i love you guys...
I think you took the right steps to protect yourself and your son. Hopefully your BD will see the same and come to his senses. Good luck and I hope all goes well
I had to go throught the same shit when I filed for CS and DNA testing. I hope gose all well. PM or IM me if you want to talk. Good luck sweetie.