Offensive Words to Avoid Using while Posting at GM
And , if you see my first post, I do take offensive to the usage of the word dumb as an insult. I know, I know, the DICTIONARY has both meanings, it has referring to stupidity as well as "Often Offensive. Incapable of using speech; mute. ", but my favorite aunt in the world is a deaf-mute and I've been brought up that dumb as an insult is offensive, because it hurt her to have her 'medical condition' aligned with unintelligence, and so I still view it as such. Dumb as an insult is probably one of the most commonly accepted of all these words, but it still is offensive to some people and I would prefer people find other ways to refer to those lacking of intelligence.
You and I know this world would be perfect if people didn't get offended at things that aren't meant to be offensive, but that's not the case. Yes, if someone sees the word niggardly, and their family has ties to slavery and such, they may get offended. It could trigger memories, unhappiness and such. So then they look it up and think, well.. I guess that's okay then.. but really does that make it great to throw the word around knowing that for those few minutes beforehand, it triggers them because it's a soundalike?
I honestly don't think the word will actually come up, like, EVER.. but it's kind of a respect issue. But I ask you, what's more intellectually lazy, avoiding a word because it has the offhand potential to trigger victims? Or refusing to think of other words to replace it with :roll:
Offensive Words to Avoid Using while Posting at GM
while i think this is a worthwhile discussion, i dont want this to get out of hand.
we can have a set of words not cool to use here, but i do not want to see new members being jumped on because they arent aware of "girlmoms disliked words."
i'm not sure how to work this, if a new teen mom makes a post about how her father molested her and she is suicidal etc, and calls her self/dad/world dumb, are you going to call her out, right then and there, when she is pbviously in crisis?
where do you draw the line? if someone says something offensive, what should be the protocol for calling them out? should one person do it? everyone after? a mod?
i am one who doesn't dig seeing a fetus referred to as a baby, but sometimes i wonder if when someone does it very casually, and has no prior awareness that we dont refer to fetuses as babies, if people are too harsh towards them. maybe the mods should write up a post as to why we dont refer to fetuses as babies and then just link it saying "why girlmoms dont call fetuses babies." im not sure, but alot of times i see someone jumped on way to hard for there word choice, or i notice them being treated differently because of there mistakes.
so. outlining offensive words are good, but i think the context in which there written is important to take into account. when *I* was pregnant, and before i became as hard core pro-choice as i am now, i wrote letters to my "baby" and often referred to her as such. SO, i think it is important to not just expect people to know why we dont say certain things here and instead to explain in a respectful way.
Offensive Words to Avoid Using while Posting at GM
I think if one person gently says after the post, "btw we don't call fetus's babies" and links to an explanation so it doesn't detract from the post, I think that's a good idea to just leave it at that. I usually don't call people out for using the word 'dumb' just because it is so commonplace, I've written a couple of PM's to people who use it excessively just explaining it and gotten good response. I know in the heat of the moment people say things and don't proof read, so I don't think people should be jumped over for slipping up now and then, and I don't think word corrections should overtake the point of posts, but I also don't think it should be something just left up to mods as long as it's done politely. You guys are doing enough, I don't think it would be fair to expect you to catch each and every time someone uses these words in a post, kwim?
I can't believe we all forgot the fetus not baby point in this thread :) Good catch :)
Offensive Words to Avoid Using while Posting at GM
naivete wrote:
We're not being 'intellectually lazy' as you so nicely put :roll:
naivete wrote:
But I ask you, what's more intellectually lazy, to avoid....
If you read my post closely, you will see that I did not call you or any other poster 'intellectually lazy.'
I wrote:
As a person of color, I am embarassed that such a fuss is made over this word. (Not here in particular, but in general.) It plays into stereotypes of being "itching for a fight" and intellectually lazy.
I will attempt to clarify my point: To assume that people of color (or anyone, for that matter) have never seen the word before, do not know what it means, have no means of finding out, can't be expected to learn, and will automatically take offense is to assume that they are intellectually lazy and trigger-happy. This is already a prevailing stereotype of us and I believe that the policy you suggest reinforces that stereotype.
Offensive Words to Avoid Using while Posting at GM
Yes, I did read that wrong, sorry Solatido. I'll relax on that, that word will probably never be used anyway, it's not something we've had a problem with up to date really, and it's just causing arguments that won't be resolved.
I think Maja had a good point in using words for sex workers such as whore, hooker, etc as insults is offensive. The sex industry is a job like any other, and by relating it to something bad or wrong by using it as an insult is offensive. I also don't think girls here should talk about other womens sexual experiences or choices negatively, such as stating that a woman you're angry with is a 'slut' or 'sleeps around'. Who cares if this girl that you're mad at has slept with 20 people or whatever. I think it's very anti-woman to use any woman's sexual experiences, choices or preferences against her in any manner.
Offensive Words to Avoid Using while Posting at GM
I think that if the poster even thinks the word may be controversial...don't use it. Use a different word. It'll save everyone a lot of unnecessary drama.
I don't like when people define the "bad teen moms". Example: There was a comment i saw about how the bad teen mama had only known her bd for a month before getting pg. *raises hand* That was me too...so does that make me a bad teen mama? Or talking bad about girls that don't know who the bd is and shit like that. I personally don't like seeing that here.
Offensive Words to Avoid Using while Posting at GM
i have to say i agree with rosie, there are times here when we go to far in calling new girls out, if someone is in crisis, that might not be the best time to tell them that "hey we don't use this or that word here" nothing infuriates me more then when i read a new girls post and she is only being called out for her choice of words when really what she needs is support and help. not everyone calling her out. on a continually basis. ya know??>??
Offensive Words to Avoid Using while Posting at GM
rosie wrote:
i'm not sure how to work this, if a new teen mom makes a post about how her father molested her and she is suicidal etc, and calls her self/dad/world dumb, are you going to call her out, right then and there, when she is pbviously in crisis?
where do you draw the line? if someone says something offensive, what should be the protocol for calling them out? should one person do it? everyone after? a mod?
I'm sorry I'm in a hurry so I didn't read the rest of the replys so if someone already suggested this, I'm sorry.
On another forum I'm on the replys/threads have an alert button on them. Maybe if someone sees something that bothers someone or is against the rules or whatever they could use the alert button or if we can't get one then just pm a mod and let them take care of it.
I feel so bad for some of the girls/women on here when they are pouring their hearts out and the first thing thats gets said is not I'm sorry for your situation that sounds hard but hey don't do that here.
Take it or leave it its just my opionion. :lol:
Offensive Words to Avoid Using while Posting at GM
mouse wrote:
Things that are percieved as racial slurs... this includes "gyped", "jewed", and "niggerdly". Not matter what that dictionary defination of this is, it's wrong, as society's interpertation is different.
At first glance I would have thought this was a racial slur. Its pronounced similar to the N word. Even though it has a different meaning, I would prefer not to see this word used on this site. I think people would jump to conclusions, just like I almost did. I am a young black 22yr old woman and that word makes me uncomfortable :( .
Offensive Words to Avoid Using while Posting at GM
bare with me... im slightly over medicated right now
i dont think gm needs a list. especailly one that doesnt explicitly outline why each word can be offensive. to anyone new to this site, they may read this list and be afraid to even post due to not underdtanding why we pick apart so many words.
i think it is so much better to teach the mommas why they are being called at in a per instance manner.
we were all new at one time, and i know i have been called out on language a couple of times over the last three years, and after hearing an explanation, i never used the word again.
we need to let the new members learn, and i think by posting a list of words not to use will alientate new mommas who need this site the most.
And , if you see my first post, I do take offensive to the usage of the word dumb as an insult. I know, I know, the DICTIONARY has both meanings, it has referring to stupidity as well as "Often Offensive. Incapable of using speech; mute. ", but my favorite aunt in the world is a deaf-mute and I've been brought up that dumb as an insult is offensive, because it hurt her to have her 'medical condition' aligned with unintelligence, and so I still view it as such. Dumb as an insult is probably one of the most commonly accepted of all these words, but it still is offensive to some people and I would prefer people find other ways to refer to those lacking of intelligence.
You and I know this world would be perfect if people didn't get offended at things that aren't meant to be offensive, but that's not the case. Yes, if someone sees the word niggardly, and their family has ties to slavery and such, they may get offended. It could trigger memories, unhappiness and such. So then they look it up and think, well.. I guess that's okay then.. but really does that make it great to throw the word around knowing that for those few minutes beforehand, it triggers them because it's a soundalike?
I honestly don't think the word will actually come up, like, EVER.. but it's kind of a respect issue. But I ask you, what's more intellectually lazy, avoiding a word because it has the offhand potential to trigger victims? Or refusing to think of other words to replace it with :roll:
while i think this is a worthwhile discussion, i dont want this to get out of hand.
we can have a set of words not cool to use here, but i do not want to see new members being jumped on because they arent aware of "girlmoms disliked words."
i'm not sure how to work this, if a new teen mom makes a post about how her father molested her and she is suicidal etc, and calls her self/dad/world dumb, are you going to call her out, right then and there, when she is pbviously in crisis?
where do you draw the line? if someone says something offensive, what should be the protocol for calling them out? should one person do it? everyone after? a mod?
i am one who doesn't dig seeing a fetus referred to as a baby, but sometimes i wonder if when someone does it very casually, and has no prior awareness that we dont refer to fetuses as babies, if people are too harsh towards them. maybe the mods should write up a post as to why we dont refer to fetuses as babies and then just link it saying "why girlmoms dont call fetuses babies." im not sure, but alot of times i see someone jumped on way to hard for there word choice, or i notice them being treated differently because of there mistakes.
so. outlining offensive words are good, but i think the context in which there written is important to take into account. when *I* was pregnant, and before i became as hard core pro-choice as i am now, i wrote letters to my "baby" and often referred to her as such. SO, i think it is important to not just expect people to know why we dont say certain things here and instead to explain in a respectful way.
I think if one person gently says after the post, "btw we don't call fetus's babies" and links to an explanation so it doesn't detract from the post, I think that's a good idea to just leave it at that. I usually don't call people out for using the word 'dumb' just because it is so commonplace, I've written a couple of PM's to people who use it excessively just explaining it and gotten good response. I know in the heat of the moment people say things and don't proof read, so I don't think people should be jumped over for slipping up now and then, and I don't think word corrections should overtake the point of posts, but I also don't think it should be something just left up to mods as long as it's done politely. You guys are doing enough, I don't think it would be fair to expect you to catch each and every time someone uses these words in a post, kwim?
I can't believe we all forgot the fetus not baby point in this thread :) Good catch :)
If you read my post closely, you will see that I did not call you or any other poster 'intellectually lazy.'
I will attempt to clarify my point: To assume that people of color (or anyone, for that matter) have never seen the word before, do not know what it means, have no means of finding out, can't be expected to learn, and will automatically take offense is to assume that they are intellectually lazy and trigger-happy. This is already a prevailing stereotype of us and I believe that the policy you suggest reinforces that stereotype.
Yes, I did read that wrong, sorry Solatido. I'll relax on that, that word will probably never be used anyway, it's not something we've had a problem with up to date really, and it's just causing arguments that won't be resolved.
I think Maja had a good point in using words for sex workers such as whore, hooker, etc as insults is offensive. The sex industry is a job like any other, and by relating it to something bad or wrong by using it as an insult is offensive. I also don't think girls here should talk about other womens sexual experiences or choices negatively, such as stating that a woman you're angry with is a 'slut' or 'sleeps around'. Who cares if this girl that you're mad at has slept with 20 people or whatever. I think it's very anti-woman to use any woman's sexual experiences, choices or preferences against her in any manner.
I think that if the poster even thinks the word may be controversial...don't use it. Use a different word. It'll save everyone a lot of unnecessary drama.
I don't like when people define the "bad teen moms". Example: There was a comment i saw about how the bad teen mama had only known her bd for a month before getting pg. *raises hand* That was me too...so does that make me a bad teen mama? Or talking bad about girls that don't know who the bd is and shit like that. I personally don't like seeing that here.
i have to say i agree with rosie, there are times here when we go to far in calling new girls out, if someone is in crisis, that might not be the best time to tell them that "hey we don't use this or that word here" nothing infuriates me more then when i read a new girls post and she is only being called out for her choice of words when really what she needs is support and help. not everyone calling her out. on a continually basis. ya know??>??
I'm sorry I'm in a hurry so I didn't read the rest of the replys so if someone already suggested this, I'm sorry.
On another forum I'm on the replys/threads have an alert button on them. Maybe if someone sees something that bothers someone or is against the rules or whatever they could use the alert button or if we can't get one then just pm a mod and let them take care of it.
I feel so bad for some of the girls/women on here when they are pouring their hearts out and the first thing thats gets said is not I'm sorry for your situation that sounds hard but hey don't do that here.
Take it or leave it its just my opionion. :lol:
At first glance I would have thought this was a racial slur. Its pronounced similar to the N word. Even though it has a different meaning, I would prefer not to see this word used on this site. I think people would jump to conclusions, just like I almost did. I am a young black 22yr old woman and that word makes me uncomfortable :( .
bare with me... im slightly over medicated right now
i dont think gm needs a list. especailly one that doesnt explicitly outline why each word can be offensive. to anyone new to this site, they may read this list and be afraid to even post due to not underdtanding why we pick apart so many words.
i think it is so much better to teach the mommas why they are being called at in a per instance manner.
we were all new at one time, and i know i have been called out on language a couple of times over the last three years, and after hearing an explanation, i never used the word again.
we need to let the new members learn, and i think by posting a list of words not to use will alientate new mommas who need this site the most.
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