Okay, from the time Tavin was 5-9 months I brought him to classes with me and from 10-14 months I took online classes and some flexible in-class stuff (where I just didn't go, heh, but did the work), so we haven't had to deal with daycare until now. My roommate watched him for my night class this summer which was awesome of her.
So...now he's 16 months old and will be 17 months by the time he starts daycare (he'll be with 16-33 month old kids). I am starting him on August 30th (my classes start again on September 7th) and that first week will just be for him to get used to it I guess. Should I just leave him there for a few hours the first couple of days or a full day right away? He cries when he watches me leave but I think he'll be okay if he doesn't see me sneak out.
I guess I'm just nervous he's going to be the bad kid at daycare, but he's never really been around other kids much and is, like, in awe of other kids when he is. He's a really sweet kid and it pisses me off when I see other kids push him or other things like that because he doesn't know what to do or how to react, ugh...
I am just nervous about him being in the care of people other than myself and being around other people's kids. (By the way I'm overprotective, I know.)
So I'll get to the point, should I just leave him there for a few hours the first couple of days and then a few hours plus nap time the last couple of days during that first week? What kinds of things do I have to bring with to leave with him there?
He needs to have a change of clothes, including socks. When the weather starts to change, you'll want to make sure his change of clothes is weather appropriate. If he has a blanket or special toy he should ahve that with him but it should have his name on it.
Kids are way more adaptable then we tend to believe and ususaly have a lot of fun at daycare because they get to socialize with other kids. This will be a really good thing for Tavin.
I don't think it's necessary for him to ease into it, but if it makes you more comfortable, go ahead. The sooner he gets used to the daycare center, the better.
yea, noah didn't go into "real" daycare until he was almost 16 months. before that i had tried some home care that didn't work out, and begged babysitting from my family and friends the rest of the time. i was SO NERVOUS for him. he seemed so precocious and like he might get hurt by the other kids who didn't stay with their mamas for so long.
what ended up happening, is that he had a blast. you'll find that any reputable daycare center will have a good staff to child ratio.. at my son's daycare for the under 18 month group, they had a max of 2 kids per worker. there was no way my kid was gonna get knocked down or beat up or anything, they were so involved in the kids and their activities.
as well, they do things with the kids there that we don't even think of. i'll say that at the risk of sounding like i'm a bad mom, but seriously, when you are going to school and being a single mom and you're super tired, you don't always dream up inventive arts and crafts, fun nutritious snacks that your child helps prepare, funny stories and games for hours on end, etc. we all do some of that, but the daycare ppl are trained to do it for hours on end. and i know my kid's daycare has more patience with him than i do, because i've been his mama for so long now, and they just see him on weekdays.
it makes a big difference, and he might be kinda clingy at first, but i think it will be really good for the both of you. my kid was the one who had a late start and was really shy and clingy and attached to his mama at the beginning, but now he has "buddies," loves his worker, can't wait to go to the pool/playground/play soccer/play bubbles for hours/etc, and has learned a lot just by being there.
also, i wouldn't sneak out. i did a lot of reading when i put noah in daycare, and one of the things i read a lot was that even though they cry when we leave, if there is a worker there with them (and there should be anyways), to give him a hug, distract him with a toy, or whatever, he'll learn that even though you say goodbye at daycare, you also come back at the end of the day. i think its confusing for them any other way, even though at first those goodbyes are hard. you wouldn't be the first mama wiping mascara out from under her eyes in her car while she drives away, imagining her baby in distress while she goes to school/work/wherever. the thing is, they're usually fine. if it helps you, call a little while later to see how he's doing, most daycare staff is pretty understanding of mamas callin in to check up on their kids when they're new to it all.
you should get some info from the daycare on what you need to bring (some centers you're supposed to pack lunches, others you don't have to), what their policies are on late payments, late arrivals, etc.
What i did for the short time that R was in daycare was the week before Day 1: We went together for 2 hrs, I stayed the whole time, Day 2: I stayed for 30min -1 hr then left him there for another 1hr-1 1/2 hrs on his own, Day 3: I took him and stayed for 15 min, and left him there for 3 hrs, Day 4: I stayed for 15 min, and he stayed until after lunch, Day 5: I dropped him off and came back at like 4:30pm. This worked out REALLY well for us. He was in for 2 weeks, but I felt it was important to do it slowly.
2 weeks after the first week.
agreed. especially during that separation anxiety stage, it's really important to build trust by actually saying goodbye instead of sneaking out. give a quick hug, but act confident that your kid's going to be ok, even if you're balling after you turn your back. he'll pick up on your cues, if you don't seem comfortable with it he might not either.
i'd bring some kind of comfort object, diapers and wipes, a few changes of clothes, usually that's about it.
here's hoping the lil guy has a blast.
Thanks for the advice everyone.
I know he'll have fun, I am just sad that I have to leave him (even though I desperately want things to be the way they will).
Apparently they have diapers there because there's a diaper fee of $35/month so I guess that makes my life a little easier.
kaya-You're totally right about them having energy to do things we wouldn't think of or wouldn't have the energy to do. I definitely have considered that before because I don't have the energy to fingerpaint/swim/whatever every day and especially won't have the energy to do it after being in class all day.
I think I may stay there for a couple hours the first day with him so I can see how things work, but I guess I'll have to find out what their policies are. They are going to give me a packet of stuff to fill out plus I have to get his immunization forms and all of that still. I may leave him there all day that first week...
As for sneaking out, you're all right, I didn't think about the trust thing. He always cried when he watched me leave when I had my night class and my roommate watched him. No doubt that I'll be the crying mama after I drop him off. :( I'm such a nerd.