I need to vent.
My mom calls because I was fucked over this month and as a result won't be able to make rent on the first. So I'm talking to her, trying to work out a solution, getting help, trying to alleviate my stress. Well, I know it's because he's really tired and such but Tenzin got into so much damn trouble, and it appears to be just because he could. first of all, he broke my computer. it's a laptop, and one side has been busted off of the hinges - it's not just off the hinge, it is snapped. I cannot fix it, I need to make rent and I'm not paying any bills this month to do it. This annoys me to no end. I walk out to get something for him, and I fall on my hardwood floors because he's poured a pitcher of juice on the floor. I don't know what's with him today, but he's not made 5 huge spills. Beyond this, he's running around with his fire trucks and stuff and is running over my damn feet.
This is all after of a day of realizing I can't pay shit, after having a neighbor calling and fucking harassing me because I let me cat outside and after seeing an article in the paper first thing this morning comparing a woman to Martin Luther King, Gandhi and Thoreau for protesting at abortion clinics. Can this day get any worse? I just finished my spring term and I'm supposed to be stress free for a couple weeks until I go back, until my OSAP renews, and I've had more stress in the past few weeks than I ever have at school. I know, I know, it's not like Jeff's back in the hospital or anything, but god, I'm trying so hard to keep everything together and everything's going wrong.
I fucking don't even know if I can get diapers tomorrow.
To make things worse. Tenzin has now become incapable of going to sleep until it's completely dark which means I need to get a shade for his window, because otherwise he wouldn't get enough sleep (resulting in days like today) and I can't afford one. I hate this. Some accountant fucked up mine and Jeff's income taxes, won't send them to us for some reason and as such our baby bonus has been cut off. Resulting in these problems. Tenzin needs his sleep. I need time to organize our lives. I do the planning, I do the managing, I make sure things run smoothly and today it feels like the whole world's against me.
It could be worse, I know. Tenzin is a GREAT kid, I know that too, but when stuff I cannot control crosses over and makes raising Tenzin too difficult, I come to my wit's end because it is not my fault, but it doesn't change that I can't afford to get what he needs.
This month will end, my OSAP will come in and Jeff's hours will stop being cut back once the students are back to town, but would it please, please, end now?