I've been thinking about this a lot. When I'm in a relationship that's really unhealthy, I forget that I desurve certain things out of my life. So, I decided to write them down. (I'm not in an unleahty relationship right now, but I think that it can be important to see them in front of one, to remind ones self).
1. You desurve to be happy- both in a relationship and with your life. I understand that it's not that easy, but someone else does NOT have the right to make you unhappy on a consistant baisis
2. You desurve to do what you need to do in order to be happy. Weather that be councling, taking depression meds, taking a hot bath, taking 15 minits away from the kid, taking a weekend away from the kid, not having people yell at you, dumping the boyfriend, loosing the husband, dropping the girlfriend like a hot potatoe, writing, screaming, singing, dancing, jumping up and down, sitting around for an afternoon watching Ricki Lake, etc.
3.You desurve a safe living space. That means physically, mentally and emotionally safe.
4. You desurve to do what it takes to GET that safe living space (see #2) as well as kicking bad roommates out, getting good roommates, not having people on drugs or drinking w/out your permission, having your things be safe in your house, having respectful people in your house.
5. You desurve time to yourself. As a single mama, I know this is one of the hardest, but sometimes in order to be a good mom, you need to be able to sit in the dark and stare at the wall for 20 minit without being disterbed. Take time for yourself, mama, you're a hard worker and desurve it.
I have to go to school- feel free to add on to this list.