I've been thinking about this a lot. When I'm in a relationship that's really unhealthy, I forget that I desurve certain things out of my life. So, I decided to write them down. (I'm not in an unleahty relationship right now, but I think that it can be important to see them in front of one, to remind ones self).
1. You desurve to be happy- both in a relationship and with your life. I understand that it's not that easy, but someone else does NOT have the right to make you unhappy on a consistant baisis
2. You desurve to do what you need to do in order to be happy. Weather that be councling, taking depression meds, taking a hot bath, taking 15 minits away from the kid, taking a weekend away from the kid, not having people yell at you, dumping the boyfriend, loosing the husband, dropping the girlfriend like a hot potatoe, writing, screaming, singing, dancing, jumping up and down, sitting around for an afternoon watching Ricki Lake, etc.
3.You desurve a safe living space. That means physically, mentally and emotionally safe.
4. You desurve to do what it takes to GET that safe living space (see #2) as well as kicking bad roommates out, getting good roommates, not having people on drugs or drinking w/out your permission, having your things be safe in your house, having respectful people in your house.
5. You desurve time to yourself. As a single mama, I know this is one of the hardest, but sometimes in order to be a good mom, you need to be able to sit in the dark and stare at the wall for 20 minit without being disterbed. Take time for yourself, mama, you're a hard worker and desurve it.
I have to go to school- feel free to add on to this list.
7. You desuve mental health. You desurve councling to deal with mental health issues, and meds if that's what you choose. You desuve to have supportive people around you, where even if they don't "get it" will support you when you're having a bad day.
deserve...right?
Right..., 'cause I can't spell.
Thanks for posting this Katg, a lot of women (myself included) lose sight very easily of what they actually deserve out of a relationship. Trying to make everything work for their partner, and children, they lose focus of themselves.
One thing I realized that I haven't been getting lately that I deserve:
I deserve to be able to speak my mind and emotions in a calm/nice manner, without fear of being chastised or judged by my SO. If I'm happy, I should be able to say so. If I'm sad or angry, I should be able to feel this way. I deserve to feel what I want without having to defend myself.
Thank you so much for your post # 7 hit home with me. I just started back on antidepressents and group therapy and everyone around is acting as if I should just be locked up in some institution. They are afraid to talk to me. What they dont understand is that I just getting the help that I need and deserve. Thanks again!
Thanks for posting this. I think a lot of women, mothers especially, too often forget about their needs.