bi-sexuality

I'm not really sure what to say. I just wanted to reply bcus i saw that you havent had any replies yet. Im not bi, so i dont know what your going through exactly, however, i have experimented before, and afterwards i kinda felt weird about it, but i realized that theirs no reason to feel bad. Its not any different then being with a guy, and heck, guys suck!! I hope you get more replies from other bi sexual or lesbian girls, because im not sure how much i can really help you.

Hey, I'm another Lauren from Boston ;)

I know you already know this, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with being attracted to women or getting turned on by female porn. Many heterosexual women also get turned on by female porn. I find it a lot more arousing than guy/girl.

I don't really believe in homosexuality and heterosexuality as polar opposites. I think we're all on the spectrum somewhere. You can think of yourself rightfully however you want!

I haven't been with a woman either, but I do know I have been attracted to some. By some people's thoughts, this makes me bisexual...by others, heterosexual. In the long run though, it doesn't matter what anyone else wants to label it. What's more important at this point is for you to feel comfortable with yourself.

"but since ive never been with a girl it feels weird to say that im bi-sexual. and it feels weird to even think of myself that way. has anyone else gone through this? i know i have a lot of unlearning and learning for that matter to do but i feel like something is wrong with me. like i shouldnt feel this way toward girls, or i shouldnt get hot when i see girl porn."

i think we all go through a stage like this one, the "is this really ME? and is that okay?!" stage. I don't think the labels matter so much. I mean think about it, if you call yourself bisexual or you call yourself heterosexual because you haven't been with a woman, you have the same feelings, right? maybe sort out how your feeling about these feelings before you feel like you have to fit into a label.

we ALL have a lot of unlearning and relearning to do when it comes to sexuality. many of us are outright told that there is something wrong with being anything other than heterosexual, and it takes a lot to shrug that off so we can have the experiences we want in the way that we need.

obviously you know there's nothing ACTUALLY wrong with you, and i'm sure you don't think there's anything wrong with people in same-sex relationships. it's just hard to shake that feeling that maybe it isn't okay for "me" to be doing this. personally, i was fine with sex with girls, but the idea of being in love with and spending the rest of my life with one really took some getting used to. it was something that was fine for other people, but when it was me in the equation, i realized how much work i still needed to do. that's life though.

if you are wanting to have sex with a girl, think long and hard first, but remember that most of us probably weren't certain before our first time with a boy either. good luck with all of this, i know it can be difficult.

Hey, I just wanted to add to what everyone else was saying.
I'm not bisexual.
But yes, I find women very attractive. In fact, maybe even more so than men.
I just don't sleep with them.
I firmly believe in what lilmsirishrage said...

I consider myself heterosexual...because that's what I feel comfortable with.
You can identify yourself as whatever you want to, and nobody has the right to question that. Whatver you decide...whatever you feel "at home" with...that is how you should feel.

i can totally relate. i have a hard time with a lot of things when it comes to sexuality. id like to be with a woman, share with a woman, find out if thats something i'd really actually want -- the kind of relationship i might want. i too enjoy lesbian porn more than girl/guy porn, and love very much to look at women, all women, because the feminine form is so amazing, but i also dont know for sure where this leaves me. do i really like girls, or do i just like to look? would i like to try to be with a girl, really? i think i might be bi....? and, most, why i am i so worried about what other people think when i admit i find women attractive? i think that last one there is the biggest one for me. i feel like half the time i shouldnt even admit im attracted to women because my mom thinks its weird of me, and very few of my friends think its normal. and that is why i think i ought to experiment some and find out for sure what i really feel, not what someone else tells me to feel.

just like everyone else said, i dont think the labels are really important, just what you feel. if, like me, youre having a problem sorting through those fellings, you might want to spend a little alone-time, or maybe some time with another female working through those feelings.

Well let me give you my oppinion. I think being bi is just as good as being straight, you get the best of both worlds, lol.
No, but seriously, You find women attractive just as well as men.
Now I find (from personal experience) that just because you find both men and women attractive that you're bi. Because a bi-person is someone who has been there and done that (not just kiss) you bi -curious (relax). There are many women who will say they're bi but wont go down on another woman (she aint bi either, she bi-curious).
While it really isn't good to promote sex, I do say if you're going to do it make sure it's safe. With a man always make sure he has a hat on his little friend and with a woman make sure you buy these little edable pads that are almost nothing but have a candy taste to them before you go down on any woman.
I think that while I experimented and did my thing, you really especially now a days should be very careful.
Also, another a somewhat different note, Im all for gay and lesbian marriage. I see it this way I aint sl;eeping with tham and who am I to say that they're an abomination, why aren't sraight people an abimnation?
ANyway hope I helped
Jewels

I agree that sexuality is in no way white or black. I think everyone's got a little bit of bisexuality in them. It's completely natural.

I don't consider myself anything. I've had girlfriends, I've slept with girls, I've made out with random girls and am very attracted to girls. I think a woman's curves are a thing of beauty. There's nothing that a man's body has that compares to a soft tummy and natural curves of a woman.

That being said, my main preference is still towards males. I don't think it matters, and I'll never believe anyone who says they're cut and dry either way without even an inkling towards the center.

You go girl!!!! Say it like it is. I agree. I love women we're just gorgious and men can't ever have what we got but I still preffer men because they have something we dont (but can buy, lol).
Any how good point you made.

i completely understand that feeling. i've been openly bisexual since i was fifteen, but didn't have my first sexual experience with a girl until i was seventeen. it always felt weird describing myself that way, like people wouldn't believe me or would say it was just a "phase." i was actually always afraid of what "gay" people would think of me more than "straight" people. there seems to almost be more prejudice in the "gay" community about bisexuality.

i agree with what everyone has been saying about sexuality not being black or white. i really like how ani difranco put it. i cant remember the exact quote, but it was something along the lines of i love people, not genders.

me? i happened to fall in love with and marry a male, who just happens to also be bi (although, like you, he has never had sex with a member of the same sex).

its no shame being bi. I've had no flack from it. of course, i came out at 12. my best friend is hetero, and she loves les porn as much as me. honestly, how are you expected to get turned on by watching a girl pleasure a guy? "oh, its so hot, I wish i could feel that ramming my troat and making me choke..."? No, dont think that'll work for me.
YOu just have to accept yourself, for whoever you are. dont think of bisexuality as a flaw, which most of us are programmed to do, but start thinking of it as simply who you are. Who knows, you may never "be" with a girl. But you are openminded enough to allow yourself the realization that you are attracted to them. be happy in your skin.

everyone who posted on this thread needs to read 'bi any other name' - an anthology of short stories written by bi-sexual people. It's FABULOUS.