I didn't know where to put this. I don't have access to the backroom and I don't particularly feel safe writing about this here. But I guess I have to.
I have a problem. I recently began smoking said stuff again. I don't buy a lot. Just a $10 pinch. And it always lasts me at least a week cause I have extremely low tolerance. But now I feel like I can't stop... I keep craving it... and it's not even addictive! It's all in mind. But I love it. I love the taste and the smell.. it's better than nicotine and it calms me right down. I'm an easier going, and happier person when I do it. It seems like my only true fix for depression. But the doc would never prescribe it to me.
For the record, I NEVER EVER EVER do it around my kids. This is done OUTSIDE, at NIGHT. Never when I'm in mother mode. haha... Okay, I know we're moms 24/7... but you know what I mean... it only gets done during ME TIME. ;)
But yeah... I wanna know if I'm alone. It's like my "cure" for every problem I have... it's a quick fix. Help. Please don't judge me. I'm looking for reassurance that I'm not alone and I'm not an awful person. :(