Makin' Friends

I've had a hard time making "quality" friendships since I had Riley. I have that lady in my class I write about who I have kid stuff in common with, but aside from her I dont have any mama friends. The friends I DO have, are best friends that I have had for years. I wish I could be more help. Just know that Im here for you!

I don't have any advice for you, just wanted you to know I feel the same way.

Are there coffee shops by your house? Become a regular and get to know the other regulars.
Or, put up signs for a play group, and then hang out with the mamas/dads that show up.
I, also, have discoverd that I have made a bunch of friends by going to skool. Can you take a few classes at teh community college, or an art studio near you?

how do you make friends at school kat???

I thought being in a program at school where everyone was dealing with school, work and family like me would create friendships and people that i could hang out with. but its just the opposite. it seems they are all so busy with their school work and family schedules that they don't have time to hang out or anything. ::sigh::

Well- for one, and I wouldn't recommend this, I smoke. So, I have a group of friends that I ended up talking to because we were out smoking all the time (sigh). don't start if you havn't yet.

Do you get breaks during your classes? Talk to people during them, or before class, between classes. Find out how old their kids are, see if they want to make some play dates, ask them who sits for their kids (I know there is more to you than kids, but sometimes they can be useful for talking to other people).

For the longest time after I had my kid, I had hardly any friends. One or two other moms would call me every now and then but I rarely hung out with them. Even in college I had a hard time meeting people, I was worried I might never make any friends.
The majority, as in um, 98% of the people I hang out with now are friends from work. We have movie nights and poker nights and partys and we go out. Somedays it's quite a shock to actually have any friends, since I was so used to being pretty much a loner.
For me, the job thing worked, but I know not all workplaces are as tight as ours and I was lucky to fall in where I did.
Another thing would be to frequent places and events that you like. For example, here we have this awesome place where they have drum circles and hippie like folks and it just seems rad. I'm sure I could meet great people there. So maybe just look in your citys current events papers and go out and see what happens. Good Luck.

I have no friends. But I really don't mind. I have a few moms I talk to once every few months, a few girls I call when I need a girls night out, and friends back in Edmonton that I talk to quite a bit, but no 'good' friends in Calgary that I see or talk to often at all.

I prefer to be alone for now. I've been stuck in a nonsocial groove for about a year now, where it's not that I don't get to talk to people.. I just really don't want to. The phone bothers me, having people over bothers me. For right now, I want to play with my son, and when he goes to bed, curl up with a good book and enjoy ME time. For some reason for a while now, I've hated the effort it takes to actually make conversation.

I'm sure it will change soon, and I'll crave adult companionship and friendship, but for now, I'm happy :)

I was stuck in that "I just wanna be with my kid" groove for a while, esp cuz I was so busy with school and work. But know that I'm out of school and single, I really wanna party! But I'm scared that I don't even know how anymore! People at my job have invited me out, but since I'm not 21 yet (come on February!) there was no point, as they go to bars and clubs that are 21 and over. So maybe my social life will improve when I'm 21- I hope so. My two mama friends have boyfriends right now so there isn't much time for me left over- but we still talk on the phone and do stuff with our kids sometimes. Then my friend who went away to college came by the other day and gave me a glimse of kid-free life. I'm kinda jealous, but I love doing things with Malik too. We just saw Incredables- great movie!

Anyways, I'm rambling, but I feel where you're coming from. I am really ready for a social life. Work is an opening for me. School is good too if you actually have time to do things while in school. Other than that I don't know... maybe the gym? I'm taking pointers too- meeting people is hard!

i havent found many friends. however work has proven a nice place to meet people. we are very close. we party together. hang out together , go to bars together and hook up with each others friends. a few of these ladies from work asked me along to the bahama's ( of course i cant afford it) it was nice to be asked tho. otherwise id be a hermit. i went back to work three weeks after i had my daughter. i really get lonely with out interaction with other people who speak english ( right now my daughter speaks gibberish) maybe a job would help. just a few afternoons a week. i feel for you girlie. im in the same boat. down the same river.

melissa

:oops: I dont mean to send you send you away but try matchingmoms.org.You can find moms your age down the street from you that you never knew where there.I use this alot!LOL I spend too much time on the comp. to get sun.LOL I wrote that some other place but,the address was wrong-sorry.

I feel the same way you do! I'm a SAHM with no car during the day, so the only people contact I get is when/if I go to the playground with Aria. I have absolutely NO friends. I don't really know how it happened. I used to have many, many friends before I got pregnant. Eventually, I think I just isolated myself from everyone. Luckily, I have 2 sisters that I'm close with so it's not like I'm completely alone, but I want friends!!!

The only advice I can give is maybe if you put up flyers for a playgroup. I was thinking about doing that, but I tend to procrastinate. Good luck with your future friendships...I wish I could have helped more!

I have like, 2 friends from before baby, and of course bd who i spend too much time with, some friends from gm, and then some older moms who i know from a class i take w/ eric. But i have no friends who are my age that have kids around erics age, that are not related to bd, and they dont count because i dont really like one and the other i dont think she likes me :( so yeah, dont really have no friends, but i do have few friends that i have much in common with.

I'm in a similar position to you guys. I have two really good friends--one is a really cool mama who's a bit older than me and has older kids, and the other (my best friend) is my age and has no kids. I have coworkers I get along with, family, and people that I talk to in class at school, but I don't have, like, some huge group of best friends or anything. I don't have any mama friends with kids that are my kid's age. It can be lonely. I feel like my life is too complicated or partitioned or something, yk? It can be hard to find common ground. Plus, I live in a small, conservative town; even though it has a few colleges, it doesn't have much in the way of a scene or nightlife, so there's really nowhere to just go and hang out and meet potential friends. Sucks. I try to remind myself that it won't be forever, and to overcome my shyness by just striking up conversations with people. I try to assume that maybe they're lonely too, and sometimes it helps.

Wow, that was probably totally unhelpful! :wink: Anyway, good luck.

Same here! I have started going with some other moms to a park every friday. Sometimes I don't really like going, but I figure it's good for me. These moms are not good buddies, but who knows what will come of it.

Kat, that is one of the biggest things I miss about smoking--it's such an ice breaker :( sad, sad, sad.

I hope to meet more mamas once I start school, especially if I get my boy into the daycare there. I think the best thing to do is just get out of the house, even if you don't do anything but walk around. I spend a lot of time at cafes.

When I was in my other school I went to break with all the smokers. At first they looked at me weird because I don't smoke anymore but After they got to know me they realized I was just board. I made a couple good friends that we always hung out but once we wern't in class together we didn't have the time. (All of our lifes seemed to fall apart at the same time.)

I posted on classmates.com and started to talk to some of my old friends. Now that I'm in school with BD I don't have any friends. As hard as we try. If you can take a couple of classes try to find a school that you see people just hanging out or find long classes that take breaks.

Really try to find a cofee house that's cool. Thats were I made friends the first place I lived.

I think this happends to everyone when they have kids. I remember asking my mom why I had X amount of friends and she only has 1 when I was little. If you really just need to get out of the house and live close to family try to build a relationship with siblings, cousions, aunts, uncles grandparents or ask one of your parents to go to a movie or somthing.

(I go to bingo with my mom when I go visit them and I hate bingo but it's nice to go somewhere)

I'm in exactly the same position as you I do not have any friends at all because I moved town just over a year ago. I've tried mother and baby groups but sometimes I get really shy with people I dont know so end up sitting in the group by myself. It gets really lonely as my partner might aswell not be here cos he never talks to me heas just forever on his playstation. And I had to break all the ties with my friends from where I used to live cos they are all drug addicts and cos I'm of the drugs now I dont think I should see them.