Closing Cycles by Paolo Coelho (must-read)
One always has to know when a stage comes to
If we insist on staying longer than the necessary
time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of
other stages we have to go through. Closing
shutting doors, ending chapters - whatever
give it, what matters is to leave in the past the
moments of life that have finished.
Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship
come to an end? Did you leave your parents'
Gone to live abroad? Has a long-lasting
ended all of a sudden? You can spend a long
wondering why this has happened. You can tell
yourself you won't take another step until you find
out why certain things that were so important
solid in your life have turned into dust, just like
that. But such an attitude will be awfully stressing
for everyone involved: your parents, your
wife, your friends, your children, your sister,
everyone will be finishing chapters, turning over
new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all
feel bad seeing you at a standstill.
None of us can be in the present and the past at
same time, not even when we try to understand
things that happen to us. What has passed will
return: we cannot for ever be children, late
adolescents, sons that feel guilt or rancor
our parents, lovers who day and night relive an
affair with someone who has gone away and
the least intention of coming back. Things pass,
the best we can do is to let them really go away.
That is why it is so important (however painful it
may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots
things away to orphanages, sell or donate the
you have at home.
Everything in this visible world is a manifestation
of the invisible world, of what is going on in our
hearts - and getting rid of certain memories also
means making some room for other memories
their place. Let things go. Release them. Detach
yourself from them. Nobody plays this life with
marked cards, so sometimes we win and
lose. Do not expect anything in return, do not
expect your efforts to be appreciated, your
to be discovered, your love to be understood.
turning on your emotional television to watch the
same program over and over again, the one that
how much you
suffered from a certain loss: that is only
you, nothing else.
Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting
love relationships that are broken off, work that is
promised but there is no starting date, decisions
that are always put off waiting for the "ideal
moment." Before a new chapter is begun, the
old one has to be finished: tell yourself that what has
passed will never come back. Remember that
there was a time when you could live without that thing or
that person - nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is
not a need.
This may sound so obvious, it may
even be difficult, but it is very important. Closing
cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or
arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits
Shut the door, change the record, clean the
house, shake off the dust. Stop being who you were,
and change into who you are.
"Love is a commitment of the heart that will stand
the test of wavering emotions, intellectual
rationalizing, circumstantial allure, hormonal
infatuation, and even the wounds of your lover.
Anything less is not true love."