My daughter who is 3 was at my mom's house over Thanksgiving so everyone could see her and I was able to work more, save on daycare & work on school... anyway, I trust my mom and all. But when I picked her up she was playing with a pole and she went up to my aunt and held it up like a gun and made those shooting sounds. Now she has NEVER done this before and i was rather surprised, so I told her no to do it at all anymore and she hans't. So I emailed my mom and asked if she watched my brother (who is 12) maybe play video games, Like his James Bond stuff, etc... and when i emailed my mom I wasn't rude or anything, I am just tryin gto figure out where she wouldn've gotten this, because I never do it and her dad never does it. And at this time there are no other kids at her daycare...and this is what she wrote back:
Hi, she might have seen Zack playing a video game. He plays it on that small portable screen. She never sat down and watched him play anything with guns, though, because he plays it up at the counter. Zack doesn't play act any gun actions either. We watched and played a lot of shrek 2 when she was here. He also watches the History channel. He likes the war history shows, him and grandpa. Maybe she saw something on that. She never did that here, though.
I just thought that was kinda bitchy. I don't understand my mom at all. She never calls me or emails me. She came to vist me her ein Minneapolis last summer, never came to see my apartment. I feel like she gets pissed about the way I raise my daughter and that I am liberal and not convervative like her. She gets super pissed when I talk about politics, doesn't want to respect myopinion... what the hell should I do? It really bothers me. And she is married to my step dad and she does everything he wants her to do....
pretending to have a gun???
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Thu, 2004-12-09 15:22
#1
pretending to have a gun???
Just a gentle reminder that we try to encourage members to refrain from using the B word here, as it is anti-woman slang.
On to your topic, people are going to have different opinions, if they are people you need to have in your life and it never turns into good healthy debate, just fighting, then it might be best to avoid the topics of politics all together. My father is strongly conservative, and I disagree with everything he thinks. I tend to change the subject quickly, or avoid the topic all together when talking to him, so it doesn't cause silly arguments that never end up going anywhere. Well, besides the pro-choice argument, I'll smack him with my right to choose whenever I feel the need to :) She does need to respect you and what you feel is best for your child though. Maybe if she continues to let your daughter watch violent shows or games while she's over there, tell her you do not want that around your daughter and you will refrain from letting your daughter go over there if it continues. Don't with-hold access of course, but make your house the safe-space where she can come visit your daughter. Once she realizes you're firm in your beliefs and will stand up for your right to parent how you choose, perhaps she'll loosen up a bit and respect what you want for your daughter.
Good luck!
sorry about using that word. i normally don't it just slipped out because i am extremely frustrated by this situation! sorry!
I agree that it is probably best not to get into the discussion of politics with people who are not willing to be open minded and see another point of view. Sometimes if people really pester me about something, I say I would rather not get into this discussion with them because it is a very hot topic for me, and I would rather not offend anyone. Being honest and straight forward about it ussually gets them to stop telling me what a great job Bush is doing, or whatever.
About your daughter, be firm with your mother. Tell her exactly what kind of things are OK and are not OK for your daughter to be exposed to. If she is not willing to respect your wishes as a parent, don't let your daughter go over there by herself anymore until your mother snaps out of her controlling bullshit. (Because I think that when a grandparent refuses to respect a parent, it is often a control issue). Good luck!
ramonegirl,
I was so upset the other day because I went to pick Melinda up from my mom's house and she was playing Grand Theft Auto. I mean, she uses the controler, jumps out of a car, and kicks this girl to death. I started screaming at my brother (who was sitting there laughing about it) that I never wanted to see her playing that game again. I hope they actually listened to me, because they tend to think I'm silly for having some strict rules. I will say, though, kids are fascinated by things they know they are not supposed to do/have. It is an ongoing struggle which you will probably have to deal with for a long time. Good luck!
- Susie
Mom to Melinda (5) and Margaret (5 months)