I am planning on facilitating child-led weaning with Maddox. For those of you who did that... what was your experience like when your nursling was 2,3,4 or even older?
How did you handle family or friends who were unsupportive?
I am planning on facilitating child-led weaning with Maddox. For those of you who did that... what was your experience like when your nursling was 2,3,4 or even older?
How did you handle family or friends who were unsupportive?
kaitlyn my 2 1/2 year old is still nursing, ocasionally but i'm really trying to get her weaned, it's getting really hard to deal with. if i didn't have a newborn i would be all for child-led weaining with her, but i guess i just don't have the patience or energy for tandem nursing. also everyone in my family thinks she is waaaay too old to nurse. i don't think she's too old, i just don't enjoy it with her anymore. when she tries to pull on my bra and grabbing my boob all rough, i just feel so mad and resentful towards her, so for those reasons alone i think it's really time to stop. at this point i spend the better part of a day fending her off till i finally give up and stop fighting her. somedays when i have alot of help we don't do it at all. blah i'm sorry for the downer post.
wean laura wean! if you are feeling this with your daughter, you don't need to tandem nurse!
i felt similarly when dylan was around 2 to 2.5, when i finally weaned. generally, it doesn't get better. i just got more frustrated, more resentful, and it seemed more damaging to our relationship than weaning.
after i weaned, i was ecstatic. i think child-led weaning can be good for some mothers, but i wish there was a way to separate out the culty AP dogma from the concept. throw in the single teen mom factor and you see how wanting acceptance from some of the very judgmental natural parenting mothers that exist out there can led a young mama to cry through nursing sessions instead of cutting the kiddo off. i nursed longer than i wanted because the moms i was trying so hard to fit in with thought that anything less than child led weaning was bad parenting.
i wanted to CLW when D was a baby, but then i changed my mind. i think that's an important thing to keep in mind, that our ideals when our babies are babies may not translate to when our babies are toddlers or kids. and that's okay. we don't need to feel guilty because we aren't the moms we thought we'd be. we're the moms we are, and that's enough.
I only breastfed Malakhi till he was a little over a year and hope to breastfeed this next one for longer but it frightens me to hear these stories from mamas who were at their wits end with it....plus the fact that Malakhi got introduced to a bottle at some point and is way attached to it and freaks the fuck out if he can't have it which makes me scared of a kid his age being unable to cope without my boob in their mouth all the time.
I wanted to do child-led weaning with Cassidy. I got pregnant with Asher when she was 10 months old, and kept nursing her until she was 14 months old, at which point I was miserable nursing her. I don't think her weaning was bad, I encouraged her to wean, but didn't force it, but it's not what I wanted for her, either.
Asher is 18 months old now and still nursing (and I'm 15 weeks pregnant) and I'm starting to have some of the same feelings nursing him. I would like to keep nursing him though. It's easier to nurse him than it was Cassy because he nurses much less than she wanted to, mainly at naptime and bedtime. He will also accept "not right now" very easily and go off to play. I would like to nurse him until at least two, which also when the baby is due. So I'm open to tandem nursing but I'm not going to say anything one way or the other, just take it as it comes.
I think it's very important to consider not only your child's well being, but also yours. Breastfeeding is a relationship that requires both parties not to be miserable and to be happy! If extended nursing feels right for mom and baby I think nothing is more natural. If weaning feels right, then that's natural too.
I want to do child led weaning as much for me as for Maddox. My mood is better and it's an effective way to calm him. It makes my job as a mother much easier. Also nursing was HELL until he was 6 months old so it's only been enjoyable/tolerable for about 7 months. I want to look back at nursing him with fond memories.
Well said. I want to let Jocelyn wean herself, but it is easy for me to say when she is only 9 months old. Who knows how I will feel in a few years?
yes i think that even child led weaning can be and usually is (rightfully so) guided by mama. the breastfeeding relationship is not one-sided. there are plenty of things you can do to gently distract from and substitute nursings for other things.
i let harper 'clw' but in the same breath i will say that i strongly guided the weaning process myself.
she weaned fully sometime this summer. it happened pretty gradually, from once a day to once every few, to once a week. from a few minutes, to 30 seconds. i don't remember when.
you need to follow your own instincts and honor your own feelings about the nursing relationship you have.
I currently breastfeeding both Dylan and Teresa. I'm also trying to get Dylan off of it though. I use a pump so he can still have mommy's milk, but just not directly from her. My mom was against a child over 13 months still breastfeeding. I ignored her for a long while, stopped Dylan for breastfeeding, got support here and got him started on it again, and now I'm ready for him to be done completly with breastfeeding.
I know that some people have great success with CLW. I dont' think it's for me, though. I think my cut off/comfort level is 3 years. The longest I've nursed so far was 2 years. At the time I was the only person that I'd ever heard of that nursed a 2 year old, so it was difficult to keep going. My family was unsupportive of anything past 6 months. Now I'm nursing my 18 month old and 24 weeks pregnant with my next child so I'm a REAL freak in my family, lol. What seems to work best is repeating "it's what works for us" and "I suppose I'll wean him before he gets married. I hear wives don't appreciate their husbands having to go back home to nurse through the night." Generally that gets them quiet.
Do whatever is comfortable to you. If you are in favor of CLW, good for you! Do it for as long as you are comfortable with it and don't let anyone tell you that what you're doing is wrong. You're the mom.
Chloe's 19 months and weaning isn't in the picture yet, and i don't think it will be for awhile.
I want to do CLW but I think there are ways to do it with some encouragement (like not offering the breast but not refusing if asked for, asking if they'd rather have a sippy or something to eat instead of nursing, offering more cuddles).