Whats the difference between molestation and sexual abuse? Does anyone know the "definition" for those terms?
Im asking, because a couple years ago, something happened and in order for me to really understand and come to term with what happened, I need to know what really happened.
I was at a Starbucks in a sort of "bad area" with some friends one Halloween. I was wearing a sailor outfit, so my pants were pretty loose. We were sitting there hanging out, and a group of guys came in. Im guessing they were on some type of drug, which I think it was Extasy (because of some signs they were exhibiting, although Im not 100% sure.) They kind of surrounded us. We were in the back of the Starbucks, and it was late at night, so no one could really see what was happening back where we were. One guy sat next to me and was saying gross things to me, so I ignored him. I was really scared. Then he stuck his hand in my pants and started to try to put his mouth on my boob (over my shirt). I avoided his hand and tried to get it out of my pants, but I was scared. Finally, they left and we ran out of there and ran to where we were parked.
What would you call what happened? I really just need to figure it out, so I can move on. It happened awhile ago but I cant even go into that Starbucks now, because I get flashbacks to what happens and I start to get really panicky.
That's a really good question.
I personally don't see that either word can be definitively separated from the other.
However I've looked through a few legal dictionaries...and they state that, legally, "molestation" only applies to minors, whereas "sexual abuse" could be used for any age group.
This, however, doesn't narrow anything down in your case, but, well, if this helps, I tend to think of "sexual abuse" as a noun and "molest" and its variants mostly as a verb. As in..."I was molested" and "I was a victim of sexual abuse." And I think both apply to you.
I know about that need to define such experiences. I recently had something similar happen to me, by a "friend," while I was...under the influence. Anyway, it wasn't until a few days later that I realised the full extent of what happened, and was able to confront him.
I'm really sorry this happened to you, Steph, and I HATE the fact that women can't go out and have a good time without being worried that something like this would happen. On Halloween. At a Starbucks. Anyway, I'm really sorry.
I don't know if anything I've said makes this any more tangible...or easier to deal with...but I hope you get the closure that you're looking for.
That would most likely be defined as sexual assult.
:S
I would go with sexual assault myself. What assholes!
I'm sorry you had to go through that shit. I went through something like that myself a few years ago. Even though I knew I should have screamed or something, I froze up. It takes a while to get over something like that, hell I have panic attacks whenever I have to go into a crowded area. But recognizing what happened to you and talking about it is a really good step.
definitely sexual assault.
Thanks for the replies. I just felt like I had to define it and understand what happened, before I could get over it. Even though it happened a couple years ago, I never let myself properly deal with it, because I always denied that it WAS anything. Well, now I know, so thank you!