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Community Advocacy and Support by and for Young Mothers

My BF's Roommate (poss. trigger)

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freeangel
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Last seen: 6 years 4 months ago
Joined: 2004-05-31 18:31
My BF's Roommate (poss. trigger)

I was on my way to work on Sat. and my bf was waiting outside for me. He came up to me and just says "Lucas died last night." God, I was numb. I asked how. It was a car accident. I didn't know what else to say. I only know Lucas through my bf. They were really good friends, roommates. I'd hang out with him, drink with him, he even let me do a line of HIS!

I'm still numb. I didn't know what to say when my bf told me. I just gave him a big hug. He had to go, he'd been crying. I spent the night at his place that night, so he wouldn't be alone at the house. It was strange. Sitting there, seeing where Lucas used to always sit when we'd play cards. His empty bedroom.

I don't know what to do for my bf. I couldn't spend the night last night. His son was there thankfully, but I don't know how much comfort a 5-year old could be. Maybe he'll keep his mind off of it though.

The visitation is today. I have to work, and I'm supposed to go to a Christmas party for work after that. I kind of wanted to go up this morning and be with him, but he didn't ask me to. I asked him if he wanted me to, and he just said it was up to me. I'm planning on skipping the party (or skipping out early) to go to the visitation and be with him. But he also has all the guys to be around him. The ones that had known Lucas forever.

He was very very distant last night. We had finally said "I love you" to each other saturday night. Last night I said it to him and he didn't say anything back. I about started crying over that. I feel that I'm not doing anything for him, I'm not helping. He said he'd call this morning, so I'm just kind of waiting for the call. It's hard, he didn't have a phone, he always used Lucas's...

Sorry this got so long, I just needed to talk about it all.

melly
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Last seen: 9 years 4 months ago
Joined: 2004-11-14 22:47
My BF's Roommate (poss. trigger)

How terrible. I understand that you feel like you cannot do anything to help, but i think just being supportive and being there wil help. Maybe you can write him a letter telling him how you feel and that you want to help him in whatever way.
He may need some alone time. That is totally normal. If he does, dont take it personally. It doesn tmean he doesnt care for you, it means he needs some time alone to sort things out.