Little boys who like "girly" stuff and judgemental

I dont know but austin is always coping my behavior, he is obsessed with shoes and my makeup, and likes to carry around my purse, im really tired of hearing people say "uhno you know what that means" what does it mean? if he is gay, he is gay, his shoe prefence and sexual orientation have nothing to do with each other.

Dylan is the same way. He's nearly four and a half now, and he's found ways to compartmentalize it. He can play with Cade and the other "boyish" boys with swords and chasing bad guy games just fine, but what he prefers is for the neighbor girl to come over and for them to play house, dress-up, or with his make-up kit.

Fortunately, no one ever gave me much shit, even during his red patent leather high heeled mary jane phase, because he always had long hair and was just assumed to be a girl. His dad had a girlfriend who tried to convince Joey I was trying to make him gay. i had to sit her down and say that *I* wasn't forcing anything on Dylan, I was letting him make his own choices, but if *they* were going to tell him he could only do one thing, couldn't even have a choice, then they were forcing him! it also helps to remind people of the stupidity of gender rules anyway. like, does pink REALLY have a gender? if you're talking to a woman, ask her if she ever wore blue, climbed trees, played cops and robbers, whatever. and if it's a guy, ask him if he ever liked to help cook or watch a female relative get ready to go out. most of us have had more "cross-gender" experiences than we realize, it just seems more normal when it's US.

good luck!

I've had a couple of people ask why Treyton wears pink. Usually I hear "don't you think people will think he's a girl?" My answer is, well I know he's a boy, and HE knows he's a boy, who really cares what anyone else thinks. Or if they say it's a 'girl' color, I politely say that we avoid gender bias in our house, and are of the strong belief that boys and girls can do whatever they want, and like whatever they want.

I don't know about the sissy comments though. Maybe say something like, "you know being open-minded about gender bias and stereotyping, and being who you are and liking what you like instead of conforming to what people THINK you should be makes you STRONG, not a sissy. I think what makes you a sissy is a closed mind that's full of judgements and conformity".

My brother was like that too, when he was younger (hes 15 now). He ALWAYS wanted his nails painted and his hair clipped up and pretty shoes on, because I always had that stuff. My mom always let him, also, and hes actually very masculine. I dont think stuff like that will change him, in any way. I'm sorry that people in your life aren't supportive.

I don't have much advice mama, cuz my daughter is only 11.5 months. But I just wanted to say keep doin what your doin. I think it's great that you aren't giving in to the stereotypical BS. When my brother and I were little, I used to try and dress him up "like a girl" and put makeup on him and clips in his hair. His reply would be "No, people will think I am a girl" mainly becuase my two older brothers would tease him and say "oooo you like like a girl!!!" So now that he is 14, he is very sexist. It drives me nuts. I don't know if the two have any relation, but I am pretty sure it does.

bd and i argue about this all the time. He thinks that i am going to turn eric into a "sissy" because i baby him and because i always tell him what i am doing with my hair and make up. Oh and he only wants Eric to wear blue or else its too girly. That really makes me mad because 1st of all, of course i am going to baby him, he is a baby! And talking to him will help develop his own vocal skills. And if he wears yellow, is that really a girly color? Why are colors even assigned a gender? Whenever he tells me that, or that i am going to "turn him gay" i just say, "I am of the belief that being gay or not gay is something that you are born with, not something that you become. If you have a problem with something that he wears, then you can go out and buy him all the clothes." Which of course he never does. I am so sick of hearing about "making boys turn into sissys or turning them gay". And if a girl wears a baseball out fit, people think that its cute not that you're turning them into a lesbian. i am getting very tired of the double standard.

Ugh! how frustrating. It is so ridiculous how people try to force gender roles on kids. I think we'd grow up much happier if people didn't do that crap to us. I wish that we could protect out kids from the rest of the world's expectations sometimes.

I know the point of this isn't to bitch, but I just have to vent a little... BD and I both have stretched earlobes and other piercings, and this woman asked us if we were gonna pierce our baby's earlobes. "If and when he asks to have them done, sure. But not before then." And she went on to say how she pierced her baby girls ears because she was "sick of people not knowing she was a girl" GROSS! Pierce an unconsenting minor just because people are having trouble categorizing her and you're tired of helping them? It was the silliest reason I'd ever heard.

I've seen some parents do and say really awful things in trying to get their kids to conform to gender roles.

More power to you for trying not to fall into the trap. When people say that you're confusing him, tell them that there's nothing to be confused about. He will learn how he wants to express himself and his gender identity as he grows, and your job is to help him figure out all his options, not to pick for him.
When people say that he'll be a "sissy" when he gets older, ask them what a sissy is, and when they tell you, let them know that if your kid wants to be [non-aggressive, feminine, artistic, fashionable, or whatever qualities they are trying to turn into negative things], then you wholeheartedly support him.

Quick reminder about using anti-woman slang! :)

One thing that's good, is even though I hate the term 'metrosexual', nowadays it's becoming more common and even trendy for men to display 'feminine' aspects with their clothing and grooming habits, pink is becoming a popular color for men's clothing, etc.

Hopefully the open mindedness isn't JUST a trend, hopefully it will last.

From what I understand, if someone is going to be gay, it's in their genes. It has nothing to do with the way they are raised.

Grown men (especially celebrities) are seen sporting nail polish and make-up all the time. And for the most part, they are straight. I think that make-up is purely a cosmetic choice. It has nothing to do with sexual preference.

I don't think boys should be stopped from exploring "girly" things. If they show an interest, it's better to let them experience new things... rather than deny them these things because it's considered "sissy".

It deeply bothers me that a lot of the mothers I know in real life, do not want their sons having pink toys... or playing wth My Little Ponies. What's the harm in it? I think that every guy I know has played with a doll at least once in their life.. and some of them are straight... and others are gay.

But just think - parents can't stop their kids from playing with "gender-specific" toys or clothes... because once kids start school, they are going to be exposed to different things... and the teachers aren't going to ban them from using these certain things.

Lots of gay men are really masculine, some aren't. The same is true of straight men, straight women, and lesbians. Being girly or masculine won't affect sexuality.

Just a little side note... I actually don't think its fair at all that boys can't wear make-up. Why is it that if a teenage girl gets a zit she gets to cover it up, while those poor boys have to walk around with a face full of acne and no respite? A guy I dated actually wnet to the store and bought a compact of foundation the same brand as me to keep in his car, because he'd tried mine for a pimple and loved it. I think that's great! All men should be able to do that and not be judged!!

As for your problem with your little guy, you are doing the right thing IMO by letting him explore and learn about all things. I hope that we can all raise a generation of people who are caring, accepting, and supportive of one another, regardless of our personal feelings. Parenting is such an awesome responsibility and one parent at a time we can make an impact.

There is a little boy in one of the classes i teach. He cries when he cannot bring his barbies to watch him tumble. He told us he got his favorite pink dress from santa for christmas and he wants to wear his hair clipped back when he can. The other girls start talking about how he must be gay. Good grief! the kid is THREE!!!!!!!! I try to explain to them that he has two older sisters, getting to the age where they are very into hair and nails and dresses and whatnot.
But, the point here (im getting there!) I am always sooo impressed with how his dad is ok with all this. My dad was embarassed that my brother played golf instead of football. But this dad just brngs the barbies and watches.
In response to the comments just ask "so would you love him any less if he were gay mom?" or to the sissy comment "Would you like me to let him sucker punch you, cause seriously! the kid has a hell of an arm." Maybe thats not the best idea, but still.

Lucas is extremely feminine. I deal with this constantly. he likes to be "pretty", paint his nails, do his hair, wear lipgloss, all of it. He loves barbies, my little ponies, "girl toys." he plays dress up, and sometimes get mad when he cant wear my dresses out of the house. (I just dont want them to get nasty when he walks on them.) I usually quote facts at people who say something negative about him. Sexual identity is simply not steady until the age of 6 and sometimes later. and usually, i'll just say, "hey, he likes to pretend he's Elmo too, I guess by encouraging that, I'm "dooming" him to be a monster when he gets older too."

My husband wore makeup for his pimples in high school, no one ever said anything but I guess it wasn't that noticeable.