this has been a topic that i have seen popping up lately and i want to talk about it. i see references to how single mamas "need to find love and can't because of their kids" and i hear about it in my daily life enough to make me wanna scream. everywhere i look someone at work or in my family is trying to set me up with someone.
i'm directing this at the single mamas because, well, the partnered ones are partnered, but i'm addressing the partnered mamas because i've seen comments about how being a mother makes it harder, if not impossible to "find someone to love us"
i want to call bullshit on that for a couple of reasons.
1. what is this assumption that being alone, unpartnered rather, is this horrible death sentence? i struggle a lot with the idea of being alone. one part of me fears that i will be forever, and another part of me fears getting involved in a serious relationship and what that would mean for my relationship with my son, my career, and my general lifestyle. but i don't need to be told that i have to find love to be complete. it is my inner struggle and no one else's you know?
2. this idea that as mothers we are somehow harder to love. talk about bullshit. yes, i've had dating "issues" since i had noah but i had them before i had him too. when i tell people that i have high standards i get some line about how maybe i need to lower them. excuse me?!?! no thanks. sure, i've struggled over how to tell a guy i have a son, but in the end, that is my reality. anyone that can't accept that can fuck right off. and there are assholes that will accept your child too, the ones with a "knight on a white horse" complex. they may be the worst of all.
this whole notion of "needing a man" and being a mother making it harder is totally downplaying that role we play in our future. it pisses me off that i have to come somewhere like here or even my circle of friends offline and hear it.