Okay, so I just got home from dinner with my mom, her boyfriend and his daughter. They took his daughter and I out to dinner, because they had something they wanted to say. I knew this could NOT be good. Apparently, their getting married. I dont think either of us were too happy. I mean, I WANT my mom to be happy, but I think shs rushing in too soon. This is her second marriage, and third engagement. Everytime it doesnt work out shes devastated and I hate to see her like that. Her and my dad are actually friends, but they divorced because it just wasnt working out, and she broke up with her last fiance because he was emotionally abusive to me (although she let it go on for a LONG time). Anyways, I just feel so confused. I mean, its just so sudden. I really like her boyfriend and his daughter. Hes a great guy and his daughter is a teen mom too, and we have a LOT in common. Its just, I'm not ready for this. We had just started our lives over again, just my mom, my brother, Riley and I. Now, theirs three more people to let into our lives. We JUST moved, and her now fiance wasnts us to move into a bigger house with him. Its just so stressful. I hate how my life is always changing, yet I cant do anything about it. I'm supposed to be focusing on myself and making sure that I relax, so that preterm labor doesnt start progressing again, but how can I relax when something so huge is going on? I dont know. I just hate how I feel so out of control. I mean, I know its her life...but its affecting all of us.
i know how you feel, my mom just got married a few weeks ago and didnt even bother to tell me until after it was done, and now her new husband is living at the house, but im temp. staying at my dads, because well i dont know this guy all that well.
Didn't your mom JUST break up with the mean guy a few weeks ago?
This is a big red flag. Remember all the talks you two had about how strong she is? I think that needs to come up again.
I think sometimes when women reach middle age, they feel like noone will ever want them or love them and jump into or stay in relationships that they wouldn't have earlier in life. I hope your mom is OK emotionally, and not just reacting.
Also, you may want to think about your mom and her motives rather than the changes in your life. I know this will make things tough for you, but it's her life and she will need support to work things out.
Thats why Im worried about her. She defines herself by if shes married or not. I'm going to have a long talk with her tomorrow. Her and her ex had broken up awhile ago, but still...I'm worried about her. I think that I'll have a serious talk with her and see if maybe we can get to the bottom of her feelings together. I also think I may suggest her seeing a therapist, since I think it would help her to have a neutral person whom she could share her feelings with.
Are you close with your mom?
Mayeb you could talk to her and just voice her concerns. Maybe she will just listen and try to understand where you are comin from.
So I talked with my mom today. I actually started crying, then she did too. I told her how worried I was and that I felt that she needed to take care of herself and she really listened. She talked with her boyfriend and decided to get counseling seperate, then together, and work through their relationship and decide if marriage right now is really the best thing. Thats really good news. Im very happy for her.
im so glad things worked out. Could it be possible to ask your family memebers to try and postpone big things like this until after you have the baby? If it is stressing you out and making you go into preterm labor again, i am sure they will be able to wait for things like that.
I am glad that you guys talked! Hpefully things go good!