Does anybody have any experience with being in therapy or counseling?
Iâve been doing it for about 3 months now and Iâm wondering if itâs worth it. Iâve done therapy actually many times and my problem with it is that I am really good at analyzing myself. I think Iâm almost too good and I think I already spend too much time doing it. But it seems like it never gets me anywhere.
I guess what Iâm wondering is⦠Whatâs the next step? I can pinpoint my problems. I can pinpoint where in my childhood and my experiences they come from, but that doesnât help me change. My therapist keeps telling me that the next step is just to acknowledge in situations that your feelings are coming from past experiences. Well, okay but then what? Does anybody know?
I've been in therapy for YEARS, and finally found a therapist that is really helping me.
We have been deconstructing what happend, and looking at HOW what has happend has created patterns in my life that I continue now. The next step is, for me, to work on changing those patterns-- with the recognition of the past behavior and the recognition of the effect of bi-polar mental stuff has on my current behavior and current relationships.
For example:
I am REALLY not self disaplined. I'm not going to go into it, but it links to things that went on in my life when I was younger, and to my depression. So, now that I know that-- what are effective ways of changing that behavior. Obviously "knocking it off" isn't working, so there has to be something else.
I've been working at holding myself accountable, as well as doing NLP therapy to confront the past stuff, as well as keeping an eye on my depression and monitering my moods. Also, more practical things, starting small, making small goals and working to create new small patterns that will continue to hold up.
I hope this helps a bit.
I have been in therapy for years for depression. I was lucky to find a therapist that really understood me, and I clicked with her. She has helped me SO much...she got me from being suicidal to being actually happy with my life. If it wasnt for her, I honestly dont think I would even be alive today. Find a therapist that really understands you and who you are comfortable with.
I'm the same way, Seyva. I can overanalyze anything to death, and I've mapped out all of the hows and whys of my past and how they've influenced my present. In therapy though, I realized that even though I knew those things, I had maintained some sort of distance from them, been able to separate those past selves from my present self by assigning "analyzer" and "analyzee" roles. I found myself doing this with my therapist in couples counseling as well, by moving from being a client to the role of social work student and instead of listening and taking in, i began analyzing his approaches and statements and why he'd chosen them.
Once I acknowledged that and worked to combat it, I found that hearing things from a different person, a person who didn't have a vested interest in making me deal with anything (as opposed to a friend or partner), and who was neutral and nonjudgmental of me and my circumstances, made them hit home a lot more than hearing them from me. I couldn't control or rationalize any of it like I could when it was the julie-in-my-head saying it. It sounds like you're past that point though, so that was all probably just rambling.
For me, the step after acknowledging things was letting go of defenses about them, removing bits of walls they may have helped create, and working in the moment to have responses that were truer to what the julie-in-the-now (there's lots of different julies!) was feeling, thinking, or wanting to say, rather than what all the julie-ghosts would have me do or say. It's the self-policing aspect of it, so to speak.
If you've conquered that goal as well, then look at what other goals you might have or things you might want to work on/through. You might be as done as you can be with a certain aspect of you, but there may be others you want to move on to.
I think you should talk with your therapist about wanting a more solid next step. Sometimes therapists see a client like you as very self-sufficient and think you may not need much guidance, but if you want more, you should let her know.
good luck!
Kat: What is NLP therapy?
My therapist has set some goals for me. Maybe I'm just too impatient I want everything to be the way I want it NOW! I'm gonna have to work on that I guess. Thanks for responding.
Riley'sMama: I'm really happy you found somebody to help out. I've been in that really deppresive-don't-want-to-live-state before and it sucked.
Julie: Ha Ha! I just started analyzing the therapist right back. Are you saying this is a bad thing? Ha!
How'd you go about finding the "Julie in the now?"
It's be said already but find a therepist that you really love. It took me 4 therepists to find Chris. When asked if I wanted a female or male therepist, I always said female. Then they just stuck me with him and I'm SO grateful! I was with the other 4 therepists...all for over 6 months. I felt like it was a waste of time because I couldn't say things I wanted too and we went over the same crap 100 times. Find the right one for you. S/he is out there!
i think someone just mentioned this but it could be that this isn't the right "fit" of a therapist. i've been to more than i can count and at the moment i go to no one because, partly, i just didn't really click with anyone.
and i totally get you on the impatience and the analyzing yourself. maybe you can write down the frustrations you are having as you wrote here and bring that up to your therapist?