i'm not sure if this is the right spot for this. i'm sorry if it's not....or if it's been talked to death..
but can we talk about raising boys for a minute?
i'm extremely interested in raising my son as a peaceful, feminist kid that doesn't cling to gender contstructs.
currently i have a moderatley difficult monster-boy-child, that begs me daily to buy him toy guns, and has a hate/love-too-much relationship with the girls in his daycare: either he's really aggressive with them or way too affectionate with them.
i tell myself everyday that besides motherhood being a life-changing expereince, if i can just do this, raise weeble well, to love and respect and support women and if he choses to hold onto this overtly masculine gender bias, at least have an open mind to change his mind later if he chooses, or support/defend other boys who don't embrace the construct.
but it's HARD, mamas. like nothing else i've known. i feel like he's...not the enemy, of course, but on the other side.
i guess you could say the gf and i approach this with love and patience and logic. we talk about respect, specifically, and then examples of it. we talk about why guns are bad and how it's not okay to play with a toy of something that bad. we talk about how it's okay for boys and girls to play dress up. it's okay for boys and girls to play spiderman. boys can wear pink and purple and girls can wear blue and black if it makes them happy.
and weeble gets really really angry when we talk. like, screaming mad.
we beat back the "well, he doesn't have a male figure in his life" for a year. weeble called the gf "daddy kim" on his own, but their relationship is strained right now, for similar but much more personal reasons. i ended up swallowing my pride and let weeble see his father, again. i've got violently mixed feelings on this, and it's already going sour: bd is incapable of treating me with respect, and is totally undermining everything i'm trying to teach my kid.
any other mamas dealing with this kind of thing? anyone?...