Sometimes I get to thinking about what it means to be a woman in this world, and I get filled with so much rage. My jaw gets sore from clenching.
I feel sometimes like my fists are just flying through the air and not hitting anything at all, like I'm trashing wildly, sweating, fighting with all my might...but I'm not really fighting anything at all.
What do we do with all this rage? I know I'm not the only one who feels it. Women everywhere feel it, I know lots of people of color feel this rage too. It is such a fucked up feeling, realizing how bleak the picture is and knowing how little we can do. Is there a positive way to feel this rage? Is there something good we can do with it?
...I think it's necessary to summarize that rambling post:
sometimes I hate men. this really isn't constructive. any thoughts?
well, women grow up their whole lives being told to be nice, smile pretty, behave themselves.. and if you fall out of line with that you are sent to your room, called a tomboy, etc etc.
so if we can't express our anger our whole lives while we are growing up, where do you think that goes?
its no wonder that so many of us, when we learn about feminism or women's rights or whatnot, all of a sudden feel this surge of rage. anger is accepted in the feminist movement, we are free to express ourselves, our feelings are as equally accepted as any mans.. but you aren't the only one who has that intense air around them. its gotten less for me over the years but i will never let go of it. its the one thing that keeps me working, and fighting, and trying.
is there anything you can do in your community to get involved? sometimes working on an issue, or learning about it, or whatnot can really help because it channels that energy to something you can make a difference in.
passion is seriously the spice of life. unless this is harming your health, i say go with it, but use it wisely. i'm a fighter myself, and its one of my favorite qualities about myself.
That's a good point, Kaya.
I have a lotttttttttttt :x of rage and anger inside of myself. So much that I chose to be on medication to slow the swings down. So...I know how you feel.
word to what kaya said. (right on, girl)
i'm still getting used to allowing myself to feel the anger and frusteration (dworkin's works really helped me with that.. :( ).
what helps me with this the most is writing about it and activism.
the feeling that i'm contrubuting, pushing for change.
but yeah, try to find a way to put all that energy to use. protests, writing it out helps me a lot, turn it into a zine, voulenteer, start or join a group that holds this interest, etc etc..
take it to the streets! there is definitely something to be said for online activism, but physically being around others that share your rage, your struggle..there's definitely something to that, as well.
ok, stopping now before i start quoting ani...heh
basically, let it out! constructivley, of course. :)