The older Kiddo and I get, the more insanely inappropriate these issues that come up seem to be... but, I'm hoping folks might have some advice or something anyway... and it won't be long before your kiddos are teenagers too!
Kiddo and I went to an IEP (special ed) meeting at his school on Monday. One of the teachers enclosed a letter with concerns that she felt that Kiddo had a "substance abuse problem." The incident she described in the letter happened months and months ago, and there were other things that could have explained his behavior. He was upset after having a fight with me and spent most of that morning in the guidance office crying- then he goes to class and seems 'out of it' and his teacher thinks he's using drugs.
I've found no evidence of Kiddo using drugs. He doesn't really get a lot of spending money or unsupervised time (he's 14) and I've never found papers or baggies in his room or anything. We've talked a lot about drugs. I'm not really anti-pot, but I'd wish Kiddo to wait unitl he was in high school or preferably college before he really started experimenting with it. Most of all, I want Kiddo to stay away from harder drugs like heroine or cocaine or meth... and even stay away from people who are using those drugs.
So Hub and Kiddo and I composed this long letter to the teacher about how there were other reasons why Kiddo was acting that way and we wish she had contacted us when it happened, or had talked to Kiddo to get the full story before making accusations.
Then today, I intercepted an email message that he sent to his friend a few weeks ago when he was on Spring Break from school. It was all about how stoned he was and how he thought his cat was talking to him and how it must have been the "chronic or reefer" (spelled wrong). Either Kiddo was faking this to try to 'be cool' or he's really smoking pot sometimes when he's home alone. I feel like I was played- we wrote this long letter in his defence, and now it looks like he really was smoking pot.
What do I do? Do I confront Kiddo and let him know that I have access to his email- which means I won't have access to it anymore? Even if I confront him, what do I say? I'm not totally anti- but I don't like the idea of him smoking pot- especially at school, and especially when he's so young.
I've smoked, but I don't like to do it right now. I know lots of good people who smoke pot, but I also know lots of people that do nothing but smoke pot- which is kind of a waste. I don't want to be a hyocrite, but I don't want to get played either.