****My friend REQUESTED that I post this: just so that no one gets mad that I'm posting some elses business**** My x-roommate had a baby in January and while she was pregnant she was off her meds (she is bi-polar/manic depresive). Instead of getting back on her meds when she had her baby she chose to breastfeed. She's such a loving mom and VERY assertive to her babies needs. She was doing GREAT until last week when she got very depressed and tried to kill herself. She had been going to counceling to try to even things out while she was off her medication. Now, the family she was staying with is trying to get her baby taken away from her because they say she's not "stable" enough to take care of her baby anymore. I think that she was just suffering from post partum depression and not so much just being off her meds, or maybe a combonation of both. Is this socially correct for the family she was staying with to try to take her baby away from her? She was doing SO great until this point. You could tell just by looking at her that she loves her baby SO deeply and even the slightest wimper would bring her running to his "rescue". What can she do to fight this or in you alls opinion woud it be best for her to let the family have the baby? The family she's staying with were Christians, which really doesn't make any difference, but she wasn't really religous, do ya'll think that could be a reason why , o r part of the reason, the family wants the baby....? Any comments are welcome no matter which side of the line your on.
How HORRIBLE and DESPICABLE.....
She hasn't done anything to the baby.. she is attending to all of its needs. How in the hell does having a mental illness make you incapable of mothering? She chose not to take her meds because she wanted to give her baby what she thought was the best choice, breastmilk. If it turns out that she will have to take the meds in order to stay stable, that's one thing. But you don't take the kid away cause OMG that woman needs pills to function. Yeah, so do diabetics, people with high blood pressure, those who have strep throat, etc. No one is taking their kids away.
Sorry - this just struck a big nerve with me because I am also bi-polar and I've had more than one psychiatrist tell me that if I don't take my meds I am an unfit mother. The only reason I stop taking meds is when they make me so tired or anxious that I can't care for my son! This is also why I've been through 4 psychiatrists.
Would it be possible for her to find a lawyer and fast? Maybe one who would work pro bono, or hell, even work on a sliding scale? She needs to do something and fast. Despite it being wrong, their is still alot of prejudice against moms with mental illness, especially if they are very young. Also, finding a psych who will testify that she IS a good mom will help alot too. She probably also needs to find somewhere else to stay. And environment with stress like that is really triggering to someone with bi-polar disorder, and can cause their illness to get worse, even with meds.
There are some medications that can be taken during breast feeding.
I would suggest she go to her doctor and explain that she is depressed and needs treatment so she can continue to be a good mother.
When you say they are "trying" to take her baby from her, what do you mean? Have they reported her to CPS or are they just threatening her?
there are meds that can be taken while breastfeeding. i myself have chosen not to get back on some of my anti anxiety meds because i am breastfeeding. she should really talk to a dr about what she can take. i was prescribed paxil and seroquel and before i was pregnant i was on xanax and haldol...i made the desicion to breastfeed but that doesnt mean i dont have options.
as for the family trying to take her baby i really dont think that they can seeing as noone has proved she is unfit. i have a mental illness but im a damn good mother. if she were hurting the baby and she was unsafe then i can see them taking her. but not just because she is depressed
yes, they have contacted CPS Seriously, she's such an awesome mom and I admire her for choosing to B/F and do what was best for her babe. I am not the only one who thinks shes a good mom. Anone whose every seen her with her baby would think so and I hear ppl tell her ALL THE TIME what a good mom she is. I tried calling her a little while ago to see if she could get a lawyer and no one answered so I called a lady whose been keeping her baby for right now (NOT the family whose trying to get him) ad she told me they have taken her to an inpatient phyciatric hopital and her phyciatrist has declared her an unfit mother! I cannot see how ANYONE could say she's unfit just because she's bipolar! She's a rockin momma! Is there anything she can do now? She's never, not once, ever laid so much as a finer on her son, except to stroke his face :0) . Who knows what will happen now.
Not to be unsupportive of this girl, because women with mental illness can be great mothers, but if she actually attempted suicide, she was not, at that that moment caring for her child unless before her attempt she made arrangements for her child to be cared for. If it was someone I was close to, I would wonder what would have happened to the baby had she succeded.
Maybe a break from parenting will help. I'm sure she can get her baby back when she is ready.
The situation really sucks. She really need to work on getting declared a 'fit' parent while fighting to get everything overturned. The thing that I hate is this is the EXACT reason why parents DON'T seek help when they need it.
If the baby is some where that she trusts it'll make it easier for her to do what they say (not that it's the right thing for herself), find a good counselor and get out. She may want to see a psycolagist (sorry for the spelling) instead of a psychiatrist if she does not want to take medication. She really has to work on finding someone that she likes that isn't biased.
The situation really sucks. She really need to work on getting declared a 'fit' parent while fighting to get everything overturned. The thing that I hate is this is the EXACT reason why parents DON'T seek help when they need it.
If the baby is some where that she trusts it'll make it easier for her to do what they say (not that it's the right thing for herself), find a good counselor and get out. She may want to see a psycolagist (sorry for the spelling) instead of a psychiatrist if she does not want to take medication. She really has to work on finding someone that she likes that isn't biased.
Hello.
NO your friend should not lose custody of the baby due to mental illness. However, I think it is good that the family is at least active in trying to protect the baby. That is the thing about post partum depression- it can spiral into post partum psychosis very very quickly. Pyschosis is VERY RARE but very dangerous. And it has nothing to do with being a good mother! Andrea Yates had five kids, and for YEARS she was a loving, wonderful mother, until psychosis got a hold of her.
The fact that your friend had a suicide attempt is an extreme cry for help- she needs to focus on treatment for herself.
I am currently in treatment for post partum depression. I get asked twice a week by counselours how I am feeling, do i have any thoughts about hurting my baby, etc. The "thoughts about hurting my baby" is a question about SYMPTOMS, not whether or not I am a good mother. It is pretty intensive but one of the ways to treat depression is to learn about it, and I have learned a lot about my illness.
*HOWEVER*, THAT said, I think it is a ringing bell that she is with a family that is trying to take her baby away. There are families that *request* placement of pregnant teens because they think it is a quick way to get an infant, once they make some false testimony against the mother.
Now that CPS has been called, it is probably in your friends best interest to state to as many people in Social Services as possible that she intends to undergo treatment and retain custody. Also, the jury is still out on antidepressants and breastfeeding. She could partially wean or keep breastfeeding while on her meds. But even if she has to wean 100% because CPS demands it, it would be better than losing her baby.
She has to fight and attend all of her meetings, etc, to retain custody. It is usually pretty hard for a state to terminate parental rights for a biological mother.
If you want to PM me, feel free. I could post more info, but this post is too long as it is.
Your poor friend! I hope that CPS only got involved to find temporary care for your friend's baby for the time that your friend is hospitalized, and that they aren't interested in terminating her parental rights.
Perhaps you can help your friend link up with an advocacy organization or a good caseworker who knows the local laws and resources? I did a quick google search and came up with these (you're in Atlanta, Georgia, right?):
Metropolitan Atlanta Mental Health Resources:
http://www.bma-wellness.com/resources/atlanta_resources.html
NAMI Georgia:
http://home.bellsouth.net/p/s/community.dll?ep=16&groupid=121244&ck=
Let us know how things progress.
actually, she's in tennessee. thanks for that link, I found some stuff up here for her to try to get into and have printed out the posts of everyone for her to read and decide for herself what she wants to do. I'll keep ya'll posted on what happens. Thanks mommas!
good news. friend got out of hospital and was ableto keep her baby! I don't know all the details, but I know she's getting to keep her baby for now.