i haven't written in a long time because i havent really been around a computer, but i started this new job about a month ago and i miss girl mom so much that i just had to write.
i have been doing very well on my own with my daughter, but bd is messing up so bad. he has everything pretty much handed to him on a silver platter: 2 new cars, a construction job starting at $15 and hour etc... but he stil manages to mess everything up and it hurts. he damaged his 2 cars so bad that he can no longer drive them, so he doesnt have a way to get to work and to top that off the first day he was supposed to start, he didnt even show up. we no longer have a relationship and we havent since my daughter was a few months old id say... i casnt even remeember... anywho i dont know what to do because he is such a horrible father, but it really hurts knowing that the one person who you share this incredible thing with really doesnt even care. i cant even begin to concieve how i can love my daughter so much that i miss being around her for the 10 hours that im at work, and he can go weeks without even calling or seeing her. the bottom line is he is a selfish MOFO, he truly is. and now he has been kicked out of his house and is living with friends i believe, but still has the willpower/audacity (i dont really know which word is better to use in this situation) to go out and party every friggin chance he gets. i know that many of you probably have something going on similar to this with your bd, but i guess im just looking for somebody to talk to about this situation because all of my friends with kids seem to have much different situations when it concerns bd. so if anyone feels like writing just about your experience with your bd or what you would do in my situation please feel free. i also dont know what to do about going to court to get full custody of my baby girl, because i do not feel like he is fit to be alone with her for the sole reason that he doesn't know how to take care of her AT ALL and i mean changing diapers, feeding, you name it. so if anyone has any tips on court, child support, jobless bds... id appreciate it mucho!
*peace*
dead beat daddy
You are here
Mon, 2005-05-16 20:45
#1
dead beat daddy
he sounds like a jerk :/ I'm sorry you have to deal with a babydaddy like that! Mine was very similar for a looong time. He has improved and now actually calls consistently and pays child support, but there's still room for more improvement.
So about court, First I would go down to the courthouse, I think your in san diego so I *think* you'll wanna go to the one downtown, that's where I go. You go to the records department of the family courthouse, I think it is on 6th, I could give you directions if you need them. You just ask for the papers to file child support. For custody, I'm not sure who you talk to, but someone there can help you. You could also call.
Unless bd is doing something harmful to the child, and you have proof, OR he is abusive to you, you cant really go for full custody. the courts want the fathers involved and will not grant one parent full custody without a lot of reasons.
I had to file a restraining order on my bd last year, so he now has supervised visitation, which will likely change soon, but even though i had major issues with him, not to mention he had a few dui's, he had drug charges, etc, they would not give me full custody. anyways, i'm no expret on this subject, but if i can help, let me know. And, I'll PM you my # in cse you ever want to talk or hang out, I love meeting girlmoms!
My ex lives with parents and doesnt work or pay child support, while I have worked my butt off to take care of our 2 kids. My situation is very simialr to yours in that he still parties and goes to bars and can go months before deciding to call and ask about the kids. If I confront him, he says it's "my fault" and that I "took them away" from him.
If you know your bd is working and how much he makes, and where he is working, child support should not be hard to get. My ex signed an agreement granting me full custody, legal and physical, but it took over 2 years of wearing him down. If your BD is as uninterested as he seems, he may not push for too much visitation and he may choose to miss the scheduled visitations.
Good luck and I'm here if you need anything.
hey gurl,
wow that sounds like my kids bd!! lol if you need to talk, feel free to PM me