Yay for my life cuz it sucks

I can't tell you what to do or how to feel because I'm obviously not in your shoes or situation, but you have to do what you feel is right. And remember you don't need a man to have the baby, you can do it on your own. If the father doesn't want to be in the baby's life its his loss. Just because you're a single mom doesn't mean the baby's life would be messed up. The baby would probably have a great life because it would see how hard it's mommy was working for it. But if you feel you want to have an abortion then I would look into it ASAP, because I'm sure the longer you are pregnant the harder it will be to make a choice. (((hugs)))

Hey, I'm sorry that your ex is being such a jerk. I really dont know what to say about making the decision to abort because i have never been in that situation, and i can only imagine how difficult it must be. Just for the record, just because your ex isnt around for the child doesnt mean that their life is going to be completely messed up. A lot of people dont have the best fathers but they turn out ok, just something for you to think about. I hope you are able to make the best decision for yourself. Good luck.

hey!
i just wanted to comment on my experience. when i was pregnant with my second daughter, emma, i wanted to abort really bad. i kept postponing and what not and had a really hard time with the decision. for me, i couldnt live with myself if i would of had one.. but i knew it would be really hard being a single momma to two children. really hun its your call. check out your resources before you decide.
nicole

I agree with mamaof3's comments completely! Forget your head and listen to your heart..no matter your decision you ARE strong enough to handle both...it is a matter of what you want to do.

PreciousNicole69-I think the comment of "not being able to live with yourself" was extremely inappropriate to the context of this entire site. Many women here, including myself, have made the decision to have abortions and your comment completely devalued our choice and threw it into a negative context. Not to mention, to say that to someone who is contemplating whether to continue a pregnancy or not is totally destructive to GirlMom's PROCHOICE policies. Check yourself and your wording...it's not necessary to qualify your own choices by demeaning those of others.

To to the original poster: you have my support no matter what you decide. Make sure that whatever you choose is right for YOU.

I am really sorry, i totally didnt mean it that way. i meant MY PERSONAL choice is that i wouldnt be able to live with that decision for myself. i in no way shape or form judge anybody for making any decisions. i didnt mean to devalue anybody. she asked for experiences and i shared what i went through with the whole contaplating abortion. i never once stated that im prolife or anything of that sort. i just said that for me, it was too hard. so if anybody took it wrong, im sorry but i didnt mean it in a negative way at all.
Nicole

If you notice what i quoted of my post that you are refering too, i stated that FOR ME i couldnt live with myself, i wasnt refering to ANYBODY else. and i told her to check her resources if she felt that was her only option. so maybe you read it wrong and took offense when that wasnt the need be at all. i reread my post thinking i might of made it offensive and i dont see how it would be. i wasnt saying "oh my abortions are horrible etc.." because i dont believe that. i believe in freedom of choice. next time if i am going to get jumped on for someone asking for others experiences, i just wont post. it isnt worth having to explain and feel bad for posting something that i didnt find anything wrong with or having to clarify myself. like i said tho, i was not meanin to offend anybody. and i am sorry i posted.
Nicole

But it's completely unnecessary to add it in. "I could never live with myself", didn't add to the post at all, all it did was bring the potential for hurting women who have had that choice, and hey, lived with themselves just fine. It implies, by you saying you could never do it, that there's something wrong with it. It's okay to not choose abortion, obviously there's women here who have felt at some point in time that abortion wasn't the right choice for that pregnancy, but by stating it, it brings the potential to hurt. Don't feel sorry for posting, your advice was really good, and would have been great if it didn't have that one sentence. No one is doubting your pro choicededness (?) heh, or saying you're anti choice for saying it, it's just that one sentence could hurt people. You may not see anything offensive or hurtful by saying it - but you haven't had an abortion, so for those who have, it could be hurtful. It really was a good reply though, so don't feel badly. Everyone here gets called out for something one time or another, and that's necessary to keep this place a safe space, it's not an attack against you or your reply, it's just a reminder to please not say things like that so that it doesn't hurt anyone, you know?

- - Cristi

PreciousNicole, your choice not to have an abortion is perfectly fine, as is the choice to have an abortion. There's no problem with stating that you chose to continue a pregnancy, but without careful thought, the language you use can be hurtful.

Imagine your friend gets her hair cut really short. You prefer long hair for yourself, but would you ever dream of saying, "I wouldn't be able to live with myself if my hair was that short!" You wouldn't even say "you can get your hair chopped off if you want to, but I would never do that."

It would just sound mean, right? Can you see now why it can be hurtful to insert the "I would never do that" comments into a discussion about abortion?

okay,
I see your points. I totally didnt even realize it. I am really sorry if i offended anybody. if at all possible could you take that sentence out of my post. I really didnt mean to cause any trouble. Your right, I didnt have an abortion so I dont deal with the struggles. I am really sorry.
Nicole

it's a learning experience, don't worry too much about it! :)

and for the original poster, I'm sorry you're in a tough spot. You say there's other stuff going on, and if you don't feel like you are in a healthy situation for raising a kid, that will definately have to factor into your decision. But like other mamas said, I'm sure you can make it work if you decide you want to continue the pregnancy. I wish you lots of luck in figuring this all out though!

Naivete, I think that post was unnecessary. I think Erika took care of it just fine. It can make someone feel attacked when more than one poster calls them on something (I have been guilty of this too), but obviously nicole made a simple mistake, and was called on it, and apologized. I love you girl, you are very intelligent and opinionated, but please don't be the "calling out" police.

Actually, it wasn't unnecessary. Erika quickly warned her about the language, and she replied with:

and also talked about how she was sorry she posted and felt attacked. So I VERY NICELY, by the way, tried to explain it a bit more in depth, so she could see the reasons behind it and also feel like it wasn't an attack against her or her reply.

Which she was very receptive to, and everything was all settled. So how about next time you have a problem with something I say, you PM me instead of trying to start a debate about my actions in a public thread where it doesn't belong?
Thanks.

I don't think she intended to offend anyone. She didn't say it was wrong to do it, just the way it would've affected her to get one. Shouldn't everyone be able to express their feelings? I thought that's what this site was for?

girlgoddess83- that is what this website is for (to express your feelings about CERTAIN things) but please dont defend me, it seems when someone defends anyone, they get jumped on.

i have already said i am sorry and said my peace, how about we just drop this and leave it alone. i shouldnt of even posted because some people took what i posted wrongfully and im sorry for that. i was expressing my feelings and opinions only, not that of what i think of others who have had or are going to have abortions. it was MPO. But i realized through all that, that im not allowed to voice my feelings and give my personal opinion, so i wont.
thank you girlgoddess83, but really, this should of been dropped a long time ago.
nicole

Everyone is welcome and encouraged to share opinions on this site, but the site has a strict policy on it's pro choice stance. So in that topic, some freedom of speech is limited to filter out offensiveness and oppression, to protect women here who've had abortions from the judgement and stigma they often face in other communities. This is one of the only sites on the internet that is sensitive to this subject and provides a definite safe space for any woman who's had one, wants to have one, or will in the future.

i dont argue that either. i believe every woman should have that right to a safe place. i wasnt trying to degrade or belittle any woman on here by saying what i said. i am really glad that you guys are strongly standing on the prochoice side. i am not at all opposed to it or saying your wrong for it. but relax a little bit on jumping down someones throat before they get a chance to explain. i understand its a safe place, but TO ME it feels like if i mess up ONCE or word something wrong (which im horrible at) and i dont do it purposely that a whole sworm of women jump on me for it when i havent even gotten a chance to explain. thats all i meant.

I think that this site is so that anyone who wants can offer there own story and there own advise wheather the person recieving wants to use it is up to them.

I think that the abortion is the wrong answer for you. I think the babys life would be much better to live than to kill it for not wanting to ruin its life. I am sorry if I am offending anyone by saying this but im saying this not to offend you but in hopes of saving one more sweet and innocent life that can not defend itself.

KILLING THE BABY IS NOT THE ANSWER!

I reread what I posted. I wanted to make it clear that im not trying to offend anyone! I have no harsh feelings toward anyone who has had or is having or will have an abortion. I have several friends who have had them. I just wanted to say my opinion on what no one seems to think of. It is a life. It is a baby. It has a heart. It has a soul. It can not defend its self.
BUT
Its up to you!

Just an oppinion

also i wanted to comment on you saying that you wanted to kill yourself that isnt the answer. It will all work out in the end no matter what you decide about the baby. Your life should not end over this. Sleep on it! It will get better!

berrysweet, Please do not put stuff like that in your post ("killing the baby"). I know you reposted and said you didnt mean to offend anyone but please just do not write stuff like that. Thanks.

This is a pro-choice site and we support a womens decision. You might not have meant it that way but to some women who have had abortions it will hurt them.

TO crazy ~

The decision is yours no matter what, abortion, adoption or having the baby. Just make sure that you are happy with your decision. Also suicide is not the answer. It does nothing.

And just to clarify, abortion is not 'killing a baby'. Those are just anti choice terms and completely inaccurate. Don't let this girl's anti choice babbling talk you out of it if abortion is the choice you want to make.

I'm leaving it up to one of the site admin's to deal w/ berrysweet, but yeah, berry, that was completely unacceptable.

Peace.

totally unacceptable and i don't have the patience today to deal with total assholes. banned.

thank you erika.

i just want to say thank you erica what she said was totally inapropriate. spelled wrong but thanks!

word.

thanks erika!