I know that to some, this may be a ridiculous complaint, but I'm upset about it.
My bf is a much better parter than i could ever be. We're not legally married, he is not the father of my children. he spent the entire day saturday with the kids while I went to the funeral. he didnt just sit at home with them, he took them all over, played with them, cooked for them.
Today he took the afternoon off work to take Bella to the Dr over an hour from our house, picked Gavin up from school, came home, walked the dog, made dinner, and home made creme brulle for dessert. Then washed the dishes.
All I did was come home, put my pajamas on and sit in front of the computer and complain that he's better than me.
I'm thankful that he's so wonderful because when I was a single mom, living alone with 2 kids, I had noone and no help.
But I'm always afraid he's going to leave me because I dont and can't do half the things he does.
I can't compete, I'm not good enough
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Mon, 2005-06-20 21:48
#1
I can't compete, I'm not good enough
I'm sure your partner loves you for who you are. If not, he wouldn't do everything does to help out, and play with the kids as much as he does.
If you're really worried, sit down and tell him your concerns. I'm all about communicating.
But you've really got to relax. A good relationship isn't some type of competition. Its more like a see-saw. Sometimes one person has more weight on their shoulders, but then other times the other has more...
Okay, really bad analogy. But you get the idea..
Oh hon. I know how you feel. I feel like my partner is a much better parent and partner than I am. I feel guilty. It's awful.
Sorry I don't have any advice.
i think you are an awesome mama and friend. and i think your partner is doing that stuff because yes he loves you and wants to be with you and wants to help. and yes it's all about communicating. you have given me that wonderful advice... and it works. just tell him how you feel and he seems like he is more than willing to sit and listen.
The partnership isn't a competition so don't feel like you're losing.
When you do great things for him, do you do it to up the things he's done you or just because you wanted to? More than likely it's the second, and that is why he's doing these things for you.
I second this motion. It is not about who does a better job at what, it is all about balance and the two of you should balance into a great team. :-)
Ya know what though? It's a LOT easier to do all that stuff, when you haven't been suffering from mama burnout for god knows how long, ya know?
I agree with the relationship/see-saw sentiment. When you are feeling more up to par, you will do more things with your kids. Don't feel bad for not being able to extend yourself right now, eventually it will come around.
Go a little easier on yourself, you're a great mama.
Well I am in the opposite position. Mike is more like you and I am more like your partener. I don't hate him or hold anything against him. He is a great person. Don't be so hard on your self.
You do certian things and he does certian things. Sometimes relationships are like that. Maybe talk to him and show your concern and tell him how you feel.
Don't be so hard on yourself. You are a great person and mother!
hey,
You know, your partner isnt doing these things because hes obligated to, hes doing them because he loves you, and wants to ease your work-load.
You said you were at a funeral while he did all this stuff for you. Funerals are tough, he probably didnt want you to have more stress when you came home. You are lucky to have found a guy like that. I have one myself, and I worry sometimes that hes going to leave me....but then I realize...Men like that dont do things because they have too, they do them because they want too. Somewhere a long the line they good an incredible sense of morals and compassion (something a lot of men lack), and they just want to make the ones they love happy. I think your appreciation for what he does, is more than reward for his efforts. Just be greatful that you found one of these, super-men. They are hard to find.
Just a thought. You could say thanks to him by maybe doing or giving him something he likes/enjoys. Or make a night just about him, if you can.
I think its lovely that he wants to do all of that for you! You have a real catch there hun..my hubby is like that, he sometimes comes home from a full days work and cooks dinner for us both if i feel rough or something. I think your fella does it for the same reason mine does..he loves you. Plain and simple..and your children too by the sounds of things.. :) I second what everyone else has said..tlk to him bout it .. xx
alot oft he time i feel like jared is a way better parent than i am. like he is the fun one and i am all the business. i am the schedule keeper, organizer of activites and enforcer of rules and he does the fun good stuff that i fee like i never have time for.
but it's more than that, he does all the cooking too and handles bedtime cause i'm usually at work in at night.
i dunno. i know it isn't a competition, but i can relate to feeling like he is a better, no contest, parent than me.