Hey. Im 17 and three months pregnant. I told my parents the day I knew because I figure theres no use prolonging the inevitable, and that they would appreciate my honesty rather then me try and hide it from them. I also think that when you make a choice to become a parent, you have to stop caring about what other people are going to say to you because everyones going to have an opinion about what your doing but as a responsible parent you have to listen to yourself. So basically I feel very strongly about being open and honest and not ashamed about my choice to carry my child to term and raise it. My boyfriend hasnt told his mother yet. First he didnt want too because we werent sure what we were going to do. Then he put it off a bit because he was scared that she would cut him off. We live together, so he wouldnt be kicked out or anything, but his mother is his only parent and she made it very clear she would no longer welcome him if he got a girl pregnant. (expecially an underage girl like me, hes 22) Then he didnt tell her because he wanted one last happy birthday (when he turned 22) and he keeps promising to tell her but he hasnt yet. I think he is being very immature about this, and dishonest to his mother. I wont go visit her or anything because I feel its wrong that he is putting me in a position of having to lie to her. Its making me angry and hurt that he is ashamed and scared and I dont know what to do. I wont call up his mother and "rat him out" but im so tempted because of the way he is handling this..or rather isnt. Any ideas?
I think the main key here is communication, he needs to communicate with you, he needs to communicate with his mum and he really needs to try and ocmmunicate with himself.
Have you sat down and asked if he wants this child? I know that it is your choice, but maybe hes putting off telling his parents coz hes not sure if hes ready for that kind of responsibility or maybe he really is scared that he is going to lose his mum. I think you need to sit down and tell him how this is making you feel, tell him that this isnt just going to dissappear and it will proberly get harder the longer he leaves it.
I think its great that you have a good enough relationship with your parents to tell them as soon as you found out, thats what i did and it really does help doesnt it?!
Let us know what happens and take care xx
You need to talk to him and tell him how you feel and why you want him to tell her.
I could kind of understand if he was living with her but he isn't.
Just communicate.
My experience was a bit flipped. I chose not to tell my parents, and my then-bftold them when I was about 5 months pregnant.
I was devestated that he would ignore my feelings like that. He said they had a right to know, but I'm not sure I agree.
Have you thought about WHY you want him to tell her? He's 22, an adult who does not live at home. If he knows she will react negatively, what's the point?
well i was in a simular situation... except my BD didn't tell his dad until i was 6 months and didn't tell his mom until the day my son was born!!! i don't really have any advice, i just wanted to let u know i was in the same boat!
Well my boyfriend is telling his mother not this saturday, but next. He is going too wait for his big paycheck, and then take her out for a fancy dinner so that she cant scream at him in a nice restraunt *sigh* Atleast hes telling her. I personally would see right through that little scam. Nice restraunt out of no where. Shes going to freak out at him regardless of where they are. Or choke on what shes eating :( HEs atleast a little more receptive to the whole "we are having a baby". hes not EXCITED but hes not being negative about it, and hes talking more seriously about things. Its nice..like when our friends say they saw something so cute for our baby he dosent get really upset and defensive, and he has started to talk about our new apartment and how we should get three rooms, one for us, one for baby, and one for a rec room where we can put our computers and the babies toys... its nice to hear that hes actually thinking about the reality of it.
I felt mad when A didn't want to tell his family (not that he didn't want them to know, just didn't want to be the one to say it) and I had to tell both sides.
we chose not to tell bd's mom right away and then it somehow got to his sister (from ppl at my work that went to his sister's work) and she told his mom. which wasn't cool because she confronted us... argh.
i don't know how you can get to tell him, but it'd probably be better that he tells them instead of someone else telling them... good luck.
Oh girl I know exactly how you feel. We told my parents when I was about 2 or 3 months along but he didn't tell his mother until I was like 6 months along. It meant a lot of lying, wearing baggy clothes (in the summer no less), having to deal with my parents wanting to meet his and all these things I didn't need to deal with. So i feel your pain.
Have you tried explaining to him that she will eventually find out? When my BD mom found out she was more hurt and upset that we had hidden and lied about it for so long then she was that I was actually pregnant. It has left a big old mark on their relationship. Maybe explain to him the sooner the better for his relationship with her and if he can't bring himself to do it then you might have to.