I figured I would just post this b/c it has really been bothering me lately. And its not something many people talk about.
I went to the WORST school district. When I was in second grade a tornado (yea tornado in NY completely freak) ripped down a wall of a school in my district and killed i think it was 11 kids all in elementary school. I still remember watching the news and seeing the wall being gone but the blinds still swinging in the wind. Totally freaks me out...
When I was 13 my friend was murdered. Had words with the guy and he murdered him in the trail everyone took to go to the baseball fields. Still to this day I can't get the image of him in his casket wearing his boy scout uniform. I knew his throad had been slit and it freaked me out.
When I was in HS two kids I didn't know died. One of a freak heart attack while running on a treadmill the other committed suicide. Also a girl I ran track with died of ovarian cancer at the age of 18.
Then in my junior year a good friend of my ex's that we hung out with a bit died. He committed suicide. I think at that time I understood the whole death concept better then i had at 13. I really wasn't sure how to deal with it. I go to his grave every now and then and it makes me feel a bit better but I still get chills when I drive past the house he died in.
The year before I had Xander another friend of my ex's died. We had hung out with him more and I had even seen him after we had broken up. he was always really nice - alittle messed up (he loved to drink) but always nice. He was crossing the street in Virginia Beach and was hit by a drunk driver. I didn't know he had died until a month later when something was in the paper about him. I have gone to his grave and know hes dead but everytime I see a car like he use to drive I still look to see if its him. Is that normal???
I don't know many people who have had to deal with that much death at such a young age. I think I have a better understanding of it all and maybe I accept it better than most. (except when my gma died i couldn't accept that). Has anyone experienced something similar??? Do you think going to the grave site makes you feel better??? I have dealt with most of it but never found anyone that *truely* understood. My friend that died at 12 would have been 20 last week. It totally freaked me out to think of all he missed out on - all the things I have been thru since he died. Is that weird? I don't really think of the other people i knew that died in that same sense... I'm rambling now so yea I was just wondering if anyone had similar experiences...