Well I was having a good day until my fiance just broke off our fucken engagment. What the hell is going on. I am sooo confused right now. I feel like throwing up. I feeling like crying. I feel like screaming and I am at work right now.
I don't know what to do. We live in an apartment together, we have a new car, we bought furniture together. his stuff his all in my name. I dont know what the hell I am going to do. I am always welcome to go back to my moms but WTF!! Why is this happenening to me... I didn't do anything wrong.
I am like in a rage right now. I hate him soo much right now. I have done so fucken much and all of sudden he does this to me. WTF! I clean, cook, do dishes, hang out with him, do laundry, LOVE him and all of a sudden this!!!
He wont even give me a real reason. He just keeps saying that he is sick of me. How can you give someone that kind of answer when your breaking off a fucken engagement and a relationship of two years. AFTER all me and him have been through.. OMG!! :cry: :cry: :cry:
I am sorry about my swearing. I just dont know what to do right now and I am just fucken hysterical. I need some help.
If I move out of my apartment and he does too what will happen. Will the landlord give me back my security and my last months rent. WTF. Thank god I am about to get day care assistance. I have been stressed sooo much lately and this just adds to it.
He called you at work to break off your engagement? That is so fucked. Did he say he wanted to break up or that he just didn't want to get married?
I'm so sorry you are having to deal with all of this. So, so sorry. I can't imagine how hard it must be to have the rug pulled out from under you like that. What he is doing is not fair at all. I hope you get the answers you deserve, and that things work out in the best way possible.
I don't know why I thought you were at work, i just reread your post and I don't think you are, sorry :oops: .
Wait, you are at work. Good grief. Sorry.
I am so sorry.
Who is listed on the lease? The crappy thing is (depending on the terms of the lease) the landlord can possibly sue you for the months remaining until he finds someone to live there if you move. If you have a copy of the lease agreement read it carefully and find out your options regarding that. Can you afford the place on your own?
You're strong and whatever happens you'll pull through.
Kell I'm soo sorry about this. That was a shitty thing for him to do for you and to call you up at work like that. He is a coward to that not say it to your face, that is the worst feeling in the world BD did that to me when I found I was pregnant he broke up with me over the phone. I would just leave pack up your things and take andrew and leave. I really don't what to say. You can do so much better sweetie. PM me if you need to talk.
Kelly that sucks... that is so fucked up of him. I really dont know what to tell you... can you think of any reason why he would do this? If I were you I would talk to your mom about possibly getting a lawyer because if he has a lot of stuff in your name and both of your names are on the car and apt lease then there will be some legal stuff to go through. Hon, I am so fucking sorry that that jerk did this do you. If you want to talk you know you can pm me.
I'm so sorry to hear this kell. That was pretty unexpected wasn't it? We're here for you,if you need anything.
We are both on the lease but everything else is in my name.
FUCKEN asshole calls me and asks me to forgive him. Just the whole situation is sooo crazy. I want to be with him because i love him but i cant deal with this yoyo shit!! It's not fair to me and what if there is a person out there that could love me this much and treat me better. I am not looking for someone else but now he has me questioning this commitment. So now I told him no you made this decision and it is staying. So now he is all sad, he is still in the apartment with me. I feel bad but I don't want to pitty him and get back with him. I want to get back with because its meant to be but i feel that someone is trying to tell us something. That it isnt meant to be. We have worked soo hard to keep this relationship together. Sometimes when you work to hard it isnt worth working for because it isnt that strong. I dont know. I am just sooo confused.
OOOO and then he calls my phone and i didnt answer and he checked my fucken voicemail and my friend Dan had called and left a message. So he called Dan and flipped out. I feel bad that my guy friends are into this now, ya know. Then i was out with a friend of mine and he went to my moms last night asking where i was and shyt. (andrew was with my mom). OMG! He is freaking me out now. He is a wierdo. I swear when i was driving to my friends house he was following me... ahh!!
Sorry if this just was a HUGE ramble.
Oh god. I dont even know what I would do in that situation but I hope you are as okay as you could be right now :S I could not handle that. Stay strong, and whatever your desicion is, make sure you stand by it. Dont let him follow you around and treat you like that.
UPDATE: So today he asks me again is this for real and we got into a huge arguement!!
Then he fucken punches the wall and puts a hole in it. I swear to god he is goin crazy. SO thank god we had compound. So he fixed it and then said sorry. Then I was leaving to go to my moms and he was like can i have a kiss. WTF!! He doesnt get it!
It sounds really similar to waht my MIL is going through, 5 years later she's still on and off with him and it's getting even harder to move on.
If you want to move on stick with it and don't let him sway you, you've gotta do what's right for you even if it's hard and you'll get all the support in the world here.
eee omg kelly honestly you need to really take a few days away from him without any contact with him and really think about what is going on. I know you love him and i know its hard to walk away from that even if you have his child but trust me. My ex bf*not Bd* used to be all sweet in the beginning then he started getting strange..i would hold his hand in public and if a guy looked at me he would squeeze my hand really hard..like literally hurting me..like it was my fault the guy was looking at me..then later on..like a week he got so mad because another ex bf called that he took a metal baseball bat and started hitting everything in sight putting holes through his walls and shit...then it got so bad that one day he decided it would be a grand idea to put a gun to my head*he justified it by hiding it under a towel* it took me a while to realize what he was doing cause i liked him but now i look back and im so glad its over..you have to think about how bad this could get and if its really worth having your son around..you can pm me i fyou want please feel free to. no judgements at all..ive been through it i know whats going on hun and im here for you
If he's hitting walls and getting so overly emotional right now, maybe it's best if you pack up andrew and go stay somewhere else until he calms down, for both of your safety. I'm so sorry you are dealing with all this mama, PM me if you need anything, alright?
i couldn't agree more
i agree also ,
you packing up might make him realise too just what an arse he is and make him look at what his actions can do and the affect of his actions - MAYBE.
hun you wanna vent/rumble just do it and if you need anything aye just ask happy to help as we all are
hey girl,i agree with both of them.you cant be around a guy whn hes like that because the usual result is that he will eventually get worse.neways i wish you the best of luck!hope things calm down :) if you need anything just email me or call me on my cell
Kelly maybe you should take andrew and go stay at your mom's house, at least until stuff gets settled and you and Mike figure out what you are doing because he doesnt sound emotionally stable right now and you and andrew dont need that. Try to leave when Mike is out and leave a note so you dont get into another argument if eh wants you to stay. And if he wants to be with you he needs to start acting like it and grow up. Kelly I am so so sorry this is happening to you.
This guy sounds really unstable right now. I'm going to echo everyone else and sigest that you get out of there for a bit.
Do you feel safe? If he's following you, should you get a restraining order against him?
Please keep yourself safe.
UGH! I wish i had no feelings for him right now because it would be soo much easier to just leave him!!! ARG!
So yesterday he went shopping with me my mom and andrew. now he hates going shopping. he was good all day and we went to the mall and everything seemed kewl. Then we got home and he went into my cellphone and read my text messages. He found the texts between me and my guy friend and he got pissed and then he talked calmly and he said "fine you can speak to him because i dont want to tell u what to do". I respect that but at the same time I don't believe him. What if i talk to my friend and he flips out.
Now I am scared of him. Last night he was playing with a wrench and I was in the bathroom taking out my contacts and I looked at him and said "what are you doing?" and he was like are you really scared of me. I said yes. He felt bad and walked away. But I really dont know what he will do and i told him that. He has cried like 5 times this weekend and he NEVER cries! He dropped one tear when andrew was born and that is it.
He said he will change and try to be calmer but what if it is bullshit...
I am sooooooooooooooo confused!! I cried so much yesterday because i dont know what to do.
Kelly, this seems like a really stressful and confusing situation. :( I agree with everyone else; if you don't feel safe, then it might be best to take Andrew and stay somewhere else for a little while so you have time to think (or make Mike stay somewhere else). If you two decide to try to work things out, couples counseling might help, if he's open to that. It would give you two a safe place to talk about your relationship--the good, the bad, all of it--and an impartial 3rd person to give advice and help you figure out where to go from here. And whether you stay together or not, it sounds like he could benefit from anger counseling--punching holes in walls and getting pissed at you for talking to guy friends is NOT okay, and you deserve better than that! Whatever happens, I wish you luck.
The fact that you don't know what he's going to do next is scary. I've been in a relationship like that and it quickly became physically abusive.
He sounds like he's manipulating you -- the appologies and then acting weird, freaking out and then stopping suddenly. This isn't ok. I think that you should get out of there until you have time to think about whats going on, while you feel safe.
If he wasn't like this at all before, and then all of a sudden he started getting weird and mood swingy maybe there's something else going on with him....? Because it seems like he totally took you by surprise too and started acting completely strange. Has he ever been like this before or is this the first time he's started getting all different?
he does have a bad temper but he has never scared me. i have a bad temper at times to so i understand but this is too far. last night he acted fine as well but he asked me if i talked to my guys friends, then we went to the gym and he tried saying he called my guy friend and asked if i stayed at his saturday and he said yes. LIAR!! He just made it up so i would "slip" n say something.
Please get out of there. This is sounding less and less safe as you talk about it. This is not how people who love eacho hter treat each other.
its just sooo hard. i pitty him in a way because i dont want to leave him with nothing but i cant take this shit no more. i just need some one to push me to do it and i know all of you are supporting me!! I love that!! Everyone else doesnt know what the hell goes on and they tell me to stay with him and to think about it . even my own fucken mother. every time he kissed me yesterday it just disgusted me. ugh!
One of the most difficult things that I had to learn with Joe (bd) was that I am NOT responsible for his emotional/physical health, I am NOT responsible for HIS choices, I am NOT responsible for him having a place to live or food or anything like that.
Your bd is a grownup. He can take care of himself. And, if he can't, that is NOT your responsibility. You will not be leaving him with nothing. He is making choices to act in ways that are scary, posessive. It doesn't matter how sorry he says he is if he keeps doing this.
It sounds like he has dramatically changed his behavior, and that in and of its self is really worrying.
You are not responsible for him, for his behavior. You are responsible for your kidlet and yourself. That is it. He has the ability to make responsible and healthy choices, and he is choosing not to.
kat, thanks for those words. that really almost made me cry because its true but i hate leaving people in the dirt but IM NOT!! He has shoved me away and then on HIS call expects me to come back to him. I feel like a fucken sucker and he has me on a leash!! I hate this feeling. I hate looking at him. I hate when he says i love you to me!! I FEEL like it is all fake and it hurts. I would rather just be n my son without him!!! I hate him and love him at the same time!!
It took a long time for me to get over Joe once I dumped him. We were engaged, and it was two weeks before my wedding- I was 8 months pregnant. I was the one paying the lease on our apartment - he had no job- and I was the one providing us with food, paying our bills, etc.
One day I woke up and realized that I couldn't deal with him yelling at me anymore, calling me names, telling me that I wasn't doing anything right, and then turning around and appologising and telling me that he loved me. I called my parents to come and pick me up (we didn't have a car), and I left him.
As a result of that, he was homeless.
It was the best decision I ever made. It took me a really, really long time to get over him. I even slept with him a few times after that - and actually got pregnant again with him when Zoe was three months old (I miscarried the day before I was going to call the abortion agency). But, when I finally realized that I wasn't attracted to him anymore, when I realized that I really didn't want anything to do with him anymore, and that I didn't really care if he was homeless or not any more than I care if any person is homeless or not -- it was the best feeling in the world.
You need to look out for yourself. No one else is -- certainly not him. He may become nice for a bit - a few hours, a few days - but it won't last. He may appologise until he's blue in the face, but that doesn't mean that he's going to stop his behavior.
Do you have somewhere else you could go? Can you kick him out?
i can go to my moms or my friends, i can kick him out but i dont have the guts to do it because i still love him... ugh i hate myself for caring about him. i hate it so much!
Me n him r supposed to be going to a friends wedding this weekend but i dont know, then this friday i am going out with friends n i have to tell him n he will probablly flip out or ask me 20 questions...
He said to me yesterday that no matter wut me n him will never break up and he said like saturday that if he cant have me no one can, so that even wierds me out. then he called me today at work if i knew his doctors # so he can get something subscribed, i asked him wut and he said dont worry about it. wtf? does he need?
i know it must be really hard for you and i wasn't going to say anything but i really think things will only get worse. i know its hard, but i would leave or take a break or something. i'm sorry you're going through this....we'll be here either way to support you.
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