I was raped when I 15 years old. I didn't worry about it, didn't think there was anything i could do, because I thought it was my fault....Went to a hotel party with friends of mine, got drunk.....When I passed out, I woke up a few times with a guy trying to penetrate me, so I flipped over to get him off me. He kept trying until 8 am, when he finally woke me up...the first words that were said to me that morning were, "I thought I would wake you up so you could get some clothes on." I was shocked! Not to mention pissed off :( He took all of us home, and I just kept it to myself.....didn't tell my mother, or any of my family (except for my brother that watched it happen). 6 months later, when i started gaining weight, I took a pregnancy test....My grandmother pushed me to put the baby up for adoption, or get an abortion, but I didn't want to since I figured I should live with my stupidity... my mother and grandmother forced me to go to the police station then, to try and press charges, but since I hadn't gone there sooner, I couldn't do anything. The police told me that I was lying to protect a boyfriend (even after telling them that I didn't have a boyfriend/hadn't had a boyfriend) We went to get a lawyer to press charges. The lawyer said there wasn't anything we could about the rape, but he could do something about getting me child support for his "sins". I didn't want his money, I wanted him in jail! Luckily, the judge that handled my case was an old friend of my dads, so he has no chance of visitation....He actually asked for them when we in court O_O So the judge asked him how old he was, he said, "27", and asked him how old I was, and he said, "15" The judge told him to pay his child support and head for the hills and not to bother me. Then I tried to get his right taken away because he wasn't paying child support. That didn't work either. The lawyer told me that since he hadn't had any contact with the child, and "failed to see the child or abandoned him" I could not have his rights taken away. My husband wants to adopt alex, but that is now impossible :( I asked this person if he would give up his parental rights, which would forfiet all child support payments since he has over 10k in back support, and 3 other kids to take care of. He said, "One day, He is going to wonder why both his parents are white, and he isn't." Little did he know, Brian (my husband) is black. I don't think that it will come to alex wanting to know about his "sperm donor" but when he does ask questions, I'm not going to lie about anything that happened with him. Whether he wants to see him or not, that is his choice, I would just rather he not contact a rapist...None of what I have said is meant to be offensive to anyone :) I hope others can read this, and learn from my mistakes. I have since realized that none of it was "my fault" and I hardly even think about it anymore, but it will always be with me somewhere.......
Oh yes! Feel free to leave feedback or anything :)
wow, you have really gone through alot.. Mods can we get a Trigger put up for Rape? Anyways i was raped too at 15, horrible horrible experience but i never ended up pregnant (i went to the doctor and got the morning after pill) and then i went to the police station.. i only waited 3 days to contact the police and i went through 2 years of court and he was found not guilty because i didnt run to the police station after it happened. complete b/s if you ask me. anyways i am glad to hear that you are over it and are moving forward in your life. you are strong and couragous. i am surprised your lawyer didnt charge him with staturory rape (him being 27 and you 15) but i am not sure how the laws work near you.
I'm sorry you had to go through all of that. I am glad things are getting better for you. I don't think you were stupid at all, in regards to
You weren't stupid at all and yes it's not your fault you were raped.
Why does my post say *trigger?*
It got added because of the talk or rape. We add a trigger to posts talking about rape, abortion, etc just in case someone doesn't want to read it. Nothing personal, it's okay :)
I'm so sorry you've been through this painful life altering experience. I understand how you feel. I was assaulted at age 14 by a man three times my age. I couldn't respect for a few years how deeply it affected me. If you ever need someone to talk to about this, please feel free to message me.
In reference to your sentence I quoted, maybe I'm just reading this wrong but it sounds like you're saying you didn't feel options other than parenting weren't available to you because of the fact you were raped? I don't understand? You didn't do anything wrong and making a choice that involves parenting shouldn't be done simply because someone feels they should live with their mistakes even if one WAS made. I just hate to see someone treat it as a punishment to themselves.
It was kind of a mix of me thinking it was my fault, and that I hated my grandmother, and would do the exact opposite of what she told me too :oops: