REAL women (spinoff Dove thread)

I think that a real woman is someone who defines herself as a woman right at that moment.

well that is the definition of a woman kat so that seems about right.
I dont understand why a woman is defined by weight. If I suddenly gained 100 lbs, wouldnt I still be the same me, a woman? Or we can look at it the same way, if I weighed 100lbs, wouldnt I be the same woman? I agree with kat that the definition of a woman is anyone who defines themselves as a woman.

I remember watching America's Top Model. There was a thin girl on there and Tyra Banks told her "On the streets, you're skinny. But in the modeling world, you're fat." (or something along those lines)

Those woman walk around without a problem. But for them to be up on a huge billboard where they are seen as 'obese' in the modeling world...it's really a huge step. They aren't models [to my knowledge]. They are real woman, right off the streets..kwim?

But aren't models real women too? Are they a good representation of the range of sizes of women? No. Are they real women? Yes.

hey,
i was just wondering.. i know we have all shapes and sizes of mamas on here, but everytime i turn around there are threads about plus size women, and bigger mamas.. well is it a sin to be a little mama? i mean im 5'2 100lbs... and i get stares too when i go out in public, i get comments of HOW skinny i am.. that im too skinny, that im anorexic.. all of that stuff.. so why is it that we just focus on bigger mamas? skinny is not the perfect body type.. if i had a choice i would be inbetween skinny and bigger.. so yeah if someone could verify that for me that would be great. also there are self esteem issues for skinny people too........

I think that the wording "real women" wasn't the best, but the meaning behind it was that the plus sized or even average sized women aren't represented in the media enough. Thin women are real, larger women are real.

On another note though, with the effects of airbrushing/lighting women in the pictures aren't "real" women but the end result of the makeup artists and the computer. JMO.

That's a really good point, Valerie--"real" women are turned into cartoons, essentially, with all that airbrusing. It's unbelievable how much of that really goes on. Once you start looking for it, it's amazing to think that it could have gone unnoticed.

And while I do understand what you mean about models being just a real and that there are no "fake" women, I also do think it's important to give credit to the idea behind the (innacurate) phrase "real women." No one is saying that the women themselves are not "real women," but rather that they are women who devote their lives to the presentation of an unnatural image. Even thin women to do look they they walked right off a bilboard. There's so much more to it that body type. There's cosmetic surgery, intense physical training, serious diet restrictions, amazing amounts of make-up and when its all said and done, whatever "flaws" remain are cropped, airbrushed, and erased from memory.

Real women have flaws. That is what makes us real.
What makes us women, well that's a whole different story.

Nicki, i feel the same way sometimes. I mean, people have no problem going up to me and saying, you are too skinny you need to gain some weight. but no one would walk up to someone who is overweight and say you are too fat you need to lose some weight. I dont understand where some people think that you can either be "big and beautiful" or too skinny. I saw in a celeb magazine, where they had the "pin thins" and the "curvacious cuties" and they dissed on the pin thins and the curvacious cuties they were like, oh she is curvy and sexy, its beautiful to be curvy but not to be skinny. (of course, even the "curvy" girls were small by non-media standards) but still. If they put something about girls needing to lose weight, you would get a bunch of people complaining about putting down bigger girls. Its another side to the double standard, and none of it is ok. I think that everyone is beautiful somehow and they need to look for how they are beautiful instead of critizing.

Everyone IS beautiful. That is what I ment when I said that anyone who identifies as a woman is a woman. It doesn't MATTER if you are fat, thin, wear make up, have had botox and celicon implants, or if you were born with/still have a penis. If you define YOURSELF as a woman, you are a real woman.

Skykid- I have had people come up to me and tell me that I needed to not be eating what I was eating because I was fat. I have had people, straingers!, tell me that I needed to loose weight because I am "unhealthy", I had someone tell me that because I'm "fat" I'm a bad mom because I'm going to die early!

The beauty Industry makes money off the fact that none of us feel like we're "enough". Those of us who are willowy feel the need to be curvy and vice versa. Those of us who are fat want to be thin and vice versa. We CAN'T be good enough. It's impossible.
Unless --
Unless we change our OWN thoughts about our bodies. Unless we choose to not suppport products that make their money off of telling us that we are not ___ or that we are too ____ and their product can fix that for us. Unless we remove negative people and advertising as much as we can from our lives. THEN, once we think that we are beautiful the way we are -- THEN we are Beautful. Because WE say we are beautiful, not because someone else says we are beautiful.

No one? I've been made fun of and teased about my weight since puberty.

My stepdad used to tell me to lose weight all the time. He said I was addicted to the fridge and that I should start losing weight with him. I was 8 when that started. My mom used to tell me I had my grandmother's body type (she is overweight) and that my sister had our grandfather's body type (he is skinny). People get things said to them - lose weight, gain weight... it's all said to people and it can hurt anyone.

Ok sorry girls for saying no one. I guess just people that I have talked to, for some reason think that its ok to comment about your weight if you are thin and not if you are bigger. But any kind of rude comments about anyones body arent needed. Girls, I hope you didnt listen to those ass holes who said that shit to you because all of u are beautiful!

I completely agree.

I think i am pretty much in between skinny and overweight, but im comfortable where i am. I think that it doesnt matter what ur size is because everyones size is different I mean like I weigh 120 and im 5'4 but my friend who is 5'2 weighs 106 and we pretty much look the same. Everyones body is made up differently so to me I do look at how much u weigh I look at how does she carry herself? Does she walk strong and confident? or is she full of anxiety about herself? I know we all have anxietys about ourselves, but I wake up and tell myself ok so you have a huge zit on your face, your kinda bloated today, and your haveing one hella bad hair day but THIS IS MY BODY!!! Its just a little imperfect but ya know what so am i.... I guess im saying if the shoe fits wear it ya know.
WE ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL "REAL" WOMEN

I thought the term "real" woman here meant someone who was appearing as they "really" are - not with the aid of massive photoshopping.

I think real women are women who know who they are, and are unwilling to compromise that identity for anyone else's comfort or ideology.

I don't agree with you. I think that even females who choose to be part of an industry that will photoshop them, and make them into what the industry needs/wants them to be are still REAL women.
What makes them, themselves, not real women?

i suppose i phrased badly. more images of real women are ones that are not photoshopped. Obvioulsly - a picture is NOT a real woman. It is a picture of a woman.

And just because a woman's picture has been photoshopped does not make her any less real.

I was referring to the way that all of the ubiquitous image enhancing techniques have changed what is acceptable in an industry way of representing women. The idea of what is acceptable has gotten tinier and tinier, and at this point is in no way related to what the vast majority of the population thinks of as attractive.

I would hazard to guess that alot of people looked at the dove ads and were wondering what was wrong with the people who thought they were ugly. Those models in that picture were more attractive than alot of people IRL I'm attracted to!

Exactly. The pictures themselves may not be real, but the women who are in them still are. Even if parts of them are fake ;)

The second statement i would also use to describe real men.

Any person who constantly compromises their identity (any part of it!) is not a real, ie authentic, person. The sad thing is that this describes most people.

However even if the dove ads picture a more realistic image in regards to body shape and size than other ads do, keep in mind that those pictures are STILL photoshopped, probably just as much as a smaller woman would be, to remove any blemishes, skin imperfections, to round things out so that they had shape and were still bigger, but not with fat pockets or anything, etc.

i can totally relate, i've dealt with the same thing.
but, i think the focus on plus size woman here is because it's so rare to find a curvier woman in the media, represented as the ideal body these days. because thin is what is considered desirable in the eyes of society at large and the media (even if thats not what individual people may think) there is a certain amount of privilage that comes with being small. you can mostly find cute flattering clothes that fit you at a decent price, you can see woman that look sort of like you every where you look in the media, studies have shown that the thinner person is more likely to get hired at a job versus the bigger person even with the bigger person having more credentials. among other things. it may not seem like much of a privilage when people have absolutely no problem telling you to "go eat a burger" "your too skinny" "do you have an eating disorder" or something like that. when your still told your not good enough.
but there is a some privilage to being thin in this society.
all body types are gorgeous, and i think the focus on larger sizes is appropriate on this site as long as talk dosn't get into putting down thin body types. cause yeah it hurts to read stuff like that. but i havent' seen that in recent threads.