So.. I am hoping I say this all right, in a non offensive way, because that isnt my intention. This is something however, that a few people I have talked to are aware of and I wish there was some way to change it.
I have noticed that alot of posts are perceived as being judgemental, attacking, bragging, or whatever, are instantly jumped on. Alot of people who just want answers to questions end up having their queries ignored as the following posts turn into debates. Alot of the time, people reply back with alot of sarcasaim, using condesending language and disregarding the feelings of the person they are attacking. Its almost as if, if someone says something that the majority of posters disagrees upon, it gives full rights to squash that persons opinions down. Theres also alot of hipocrisy, alot of people making harsh judgements against others, and then turnning around and getting angry at people for juding.
I think alot of this, almost all of this, could be avoided by a little more communication. Alot of the time a big fight starts, when someone misunderstands the meaning of what someone else is trying to say, and that person becomes defensive, and then everyone jumps in.
But I dont want to just complain about something and not do anything about it. I wanted to open a discussion about this, maybe make people aware that there is a problem, and offer some suggestions on what I think could help this problem. I think this is an amazing board, and if we all respected each other a little more there wouldnt be so many hurt feelings and harsh words.
I think one way to solve alot of problems, would be to clarify before you respond to a post. Instead of instantly assuming they mean what you are thinking they mean, just ask. PM them or msn or post to them. Just ask, what did you mean by that, because I took it this way but I realize that maybe you ment it in a way I am not seeing. Just that simple action would clear up so much misunderstanding and stop alot of fights from happening.
Refrain from being super sarcastic. Ive never had this directed by me, but It still bothers me so much when I see girls being horribly sarcastic to others. The whole "thanks, thanks alot" attitude really doesnt acheive anything but hurting the feelings of others, and putting people into angry defensive moods.
Being really condesending. We all hate it when people patronize us, I dont see why we think its okay to do it to eachother. Just because someone said something wrong, or something you dont agree with, or something you think is stupid, dosent make it okay to treat them as a lesser person.
Use PM's more... sometimes it seems like theres no reason for a post other then to draw attention to their mistakes to everyone in the community. Its like singeling someone out in school infront of everyone so they feel more humilated, when talking to them privately would be a much more respectful way to solve the problem, and wouldnt cause so many hurt feelings.
Of course this is all my opinion, and others might not think there is a problem here, or that im being out of line. This is just what I am perceiving as a problem, nothing more. Im not trying to call anyone out, point fingers, or anything like that. I really love girlmom, im on here every single day as soon as I get up, and Ive found friends and gotten alot of support. I just wish that the community could be more cloose. Theres so much open disrespect and disdain for others, and a community that is pulled apart like that cant reach its full potential. I wish that with a little work this could really be a safe, loving, and supportive place, a haven. The potential is there, but its just not happening.