Tricia, i dont think being in someones face is the right answer. i would rather be talked to like the human being that i am, instead of yelled at, if i wanted that.. i would talk to my family. thanks tho.
Tricia, i dont think being in someones face is the right answer. i would rather be talked to like the human being that i am, instead of yelled at, if i wanted that.. i would talk to my family. thanks tho.
and sometimes people need to be yelled at, i'm not afraid to do that, that is all.
OKAY EVERYONE, I think it's time to take a break before you post and ask yourself if what you're saying is contributing to the problem or the solution. If this discussion doesn't become productive, I will lock the thread.
I don't think we should sit back and be polite when explaining things all the time. I've been told to sit down and be quiet enough times in my life, it's not going to happen here.
If someone is doing or saying something offensive, IT NEEDS TO BE CALLED OUT. End of story. Emotions run high and sometimes the "calling out" doesn't happen in the nicest way, but if the thread or post can invoke that much passion in someone, it's obvious that those things needed to be said anyway.
The real issue ISNT being understood. Thats correct.
The issue is that there are many girls here, who feel uncomfortable posting, because of the fear of backlash. Not from people who are trying to uphold the mission statement, because last time I checked, being rude, pushy and sarcastic to make a point is not doing so.
The real issue ISNT being understood. Thats correct.
The issue is that there are many girls here, who feel uncomfortable posting, because of the fear of backlash. Not from people who are trying to uphold the mission statement, because last time I checked, being rude, pushy and sarcastic to make a point is not doing so.
That is what needs to be addressed.
If someone is doing or saying something offensive, IT NEEDS TO BE CALLED OUT. End of story. Emotions run high and sometimes the "calling out" doesn't happen in the nicest way, but if the thread or post can invoke that much passion in someone, it's obvious that those things needed to be said anyway.
no Miss Kitty the real issue is that people aren't understanding the point erika made so clearly above.
That is what this website HAS ALWAYS been about. That when someone hurts/offendeds someone else, the offender will be called out and that sometimes there really is no nice way to do it, or you've tried to be nice and it doesn't work, there has to be something more you can do, some people only respond to the negative, when you are telling (or yelling) them that what they say is absoulutely wrong. but like erika said IT HAS TO BE CALLED OUT.
The people who offended a group of people have no bloody right to say they have no right to be offended.
Calling out happens. You don't want it to happen? Then think carefully before you put it out there. If it does happen? You don't want fighting? Then realize that you were out of line, try and learn from it, don't be defensive and apologize.
This isn't just a support group. In case ya missed it, this is a political board, a left leaning board, a board to not only help women in pregnancy and motherhood but to help them UNLEARN what society has taught them. If you want lovey dovey say whatever you want without regard to marginalized people's feelings website, this isn't it.
And don't tell me "omg i'm silencing people." because those people are being silenced for a reason, because they silenced/oppressed/offended/hurt a large group of people. Maybe if they uh, shush for a second and think and learn, they wouldn't be called out again.
Calling out happens publically in case there are other women reading it who haven't said anything similar, to let them know "think twice before posting." and to validate the offended person's feelings. If we did it in PM's, other people reading would think "hey, well that's okay to say", when really, it's not. Period.
Word up to britt, people are usually 100% respectful and friendly in a callout. It's only when the offenders start "omg free speach!!11'ing and saying that they can say whatever they want, that's when it starts to get a little sharp. Because it needs to. Don't like it? Too bad, that's how this board is, that's how it's ALWAYS been. If you don't want to be called out, do not say shit that'll make someone call you out.
i totally agree Erika, but i just think the whole 7 people calling out 1 person is a bit extreme.
Where were there 7 people calling out 1 person? I think that everyone has agreed that one person "calling out " is enough, but that doesn't mean that the discussion needs to stop with that. Discussion is what breads unlearning, without it there wouldn't be any.
Also wanted to throw in that there are a lot of women who are called out, and a lot of those women sit back, think and then say "You're right, I'm sorry and I won't say that again" and life goes on, they're thanked for their welcoming attitude, and everything is right with the world again. It's when they start being asshats about it, or other people start wrongfully defending oppressive behavior, is when it gets to be like you said.
and thats the point i was trying to get accross! thank you. im off to bed now.
(point being about 1 person callin out) Thank you.
good night all!!
if that was the only point you were trying to get across everyone agreed to that pretty much from the begining. so i'm confused as to what you are trying to accomplish?
The difference is that if a person is called out and then others chime in afterward with similar opinions/sentiments and the discussion continues, the OP is not being called out still. Honestly, where is the problem?
I feel like GM is not harsh at all. I don't feel like many threads like that ever get out of hand. It's been said several times in this thread: if you don't want to be called out, don't say something offensive! Read what you say a few times and think of it from another person's perspective. PM me and I will be happy to let you know if something could be potentially offensive (I think most people are pretty good judges of that on their own if you sit and think about it for a bit).
This thread is long and pretty much not productive at all. If someone wants to start a new thread with productive ideas or whatever, feel free, but I'm locking this.
Tricia, i dont think being in someones face is the right answer. i would rather be talked to like the human being that i am, instead of yelled at, if i wanted that.. i would talk to my family. thanks tho.
and sometimes people need to be yelled at, i'm not afraid to do that, that is all.
no one deserves to be yelled at. talking is way more productive. that way both sides are heard, not just one.
OKAY EVERYONE, I think it's time to take a break before you post and ask yourself if what you're saying is contributing to the problem or the solution. If this discussion doesn't become productive, I will lock the thread.
I don't think we should sit back and be polite when explaining things all the time. I've been told to sit down and be quiet enough times in my life, it's not going to happen here.
If someone is doing or saying something offensive, IT NEEDS TO BE CALLED OUT. End of story. Emotions run high and sometimes the "calling out" doesn't happen in the nicest way, but if the thread or post can invoke that much passion in someone, it's obvious that those things needed to be said anyway.
The real issue ISNT being understood. Thats correct.
The issue is that there are many girls here, who feel uncomfortable posting, because of the fear of backlash. Not from people who are trying to uphold the mission statement, because last time I checked, being rude, pushy and sarcastic to make a point is not doing so.
That is what needs to be addressed.
No one ever said feminism was for the fainthearted.
Like I said, I'm not going to sit back and watch people say things that are offensive just because "maybe they didn't mean it that way"...
People shouldn't be afraid to post if what they're going to post isn't being offensive or stepping on toes.
If someone is doing or saying something offensive, IT NEEDS TO BE CALLED OUT. End of story. Emotions run high and sometimes the "calling out" doesn't happen in the nicest way, but if the thread or post can invoke that much passion in someone, it's obvious that those things needed to be said anyway.
no Miss Kitty the real issue is that people aren't understanding the point erika made so clearly above.
That is what this website HAS ALWAYS been about. That when someone hurts/offendeds someone else, the offender will be called out and that sometimes there really is no nice way to do it, or you've tried to be nice and it doesn't work, there has to be something more you can do, some people only respond to the negative, when you are telling (or yelling) them that what they say is absoulutely wrong. but like erika said IT HAS TO BE CALLED OUT.
i totally agree Erika, but i just think the whole 7 people calling out 1 person is a bit extreme.
The people who offended a group of people have no bloody right to say they have no right to be offended.
Calling out happens. You don't want it to happen? Then think carefully before you put it out there. If it does happen? You don't want fighting? Then realize that you were out of line, try and learn from it, don't be defensive and apologize.
This isn't just a support group. In case ya missed it, this is a political board, a left leaning board, a board to not only help women in pregnancy and motherhood but to help them UNLEARN what society has taught them. If you want lovey dovey say whatever you want without regard to marginalized people's feelings website, this isn't it.
And don't tell me "omg i'm silencing people." because those people are being silenced for a reason, because they silenced/oppressed/offended/hurt a large group of people. Maybe if they uh, shush for a second and think and learn, they wouldn't be called out again.
Calling out happens publically in case there are other women reading it who haven't said anything similar, to let them know "think twice before posting." and to validate the offended person's feelings. If we did it in PM's, other people reading would think "hey, well that's okay to say", when really, it's not. Period.
Word up to britt, people are usually 100% respectful and friendly in a callout. It's only when the offenders start "omg free speach!!11'ing and saying that they can say whatever they want, that's when it starts to get a little sharp. Because it needs to. Don't like it? Too bad, that's how this board is, that's how it's ALWAYS been. If you don't want to be called out, do not say shit that'll make someone call you out.
Where were there 7 people calling out 1 person? I think that everyone has agreed that one person "calling out " is enough, but that doesn't mean that the discussion needs to stop with that. Discussion is what breads unlearning, without it there wouldn't be any.
Also wanted to throw in that there are a lot of women who are called out, and a lot of those women sit back, think and then say "You're right, I'm sorry and I won't say that again" and life goes on, they're thanked for their welcoming attitude, and everything is right with the world again. It's when they start being asshats about it, or other people start wrongfully defending oppressive behavior, is when it gets to be like you said.
Just be the first person, and all is cool.
and thats the point i was trying to get accross! thank you. im off to bed now.
(point being about 1 person callin out) Thank you.
good night all!!
if that was the only point you were trying to get across everyone agreed to that pretty much from the begining. so i'm confused as to what you are trying to accomplish?
The difference is that if a person is called out and then others chime in afterward with similar opinions/sentiments and the discussion continues, the OP is not being called out still. Honestly, where is the problem?
I feel like GM is not harsh at all. I don't feel like many threads like that ever get out of hand. It's been said several times in this thread: if you don't want to be called out, don't say something offensive! Read what you say a few times and think of it from another person's perspective. PM me and I will be happy to let you know if something could be potentially offensive (I think most people are pretty good judges of that on their own if you sit and think about it for a bit).
This thread is long and pretty much not productive at all. If someone wants to start a new thread with productive ideas or whatever, feel free, but I'm locking this.
Pages