My son is almost 14 months old, and he has a really bad temper. If he doesnt get what he wants (mostly with food) right away, he throws everything that is near to him and busts out crying. And sometimes when you give him something, like a toy, he will throw it and then throw himself on the floor and cry. I dont think it has anything to do with him being tired because he sleeps a lot during the day. I thought that he is supposed to be older when he starts getting a temper. Also he only does it to me never to his dad so bd is always like, oh see he doesnt get mad at me, but I think thats because bd will give him anything he wants even if its like cookies right before dinner. Do you think its just a stage or is this gonna be for like the rest of his life? Also, what can I do to help control it?
I think it may have a lot to do with how BD treats him. If BD is giving him all that he wants regardless of the situation, when you try to say no or make more responsible decisions, it's possible that your son is pissed off that it's harder to get what he wants with you. I guess I think that he's probably just frustrated because he's getting mixed signals.
It's also very assholish that BD says snarky things like you mentioned. Way to undermine your parenting. I don't know how it would work, maybe someone else knows better, but I think if you could find some way to put your foot down and let him know that you're making most of the desicions and the parenting/discipline of your son needs to be consistent and thus he's going to have to treat Eric like you do, even if it means a bad temper for a few more weeks. The word "no" is going to have little to no meaning at your house, if it has none at his dad's.
My daughter went through the "terrible twos" when she was 15 months. At the time, I also thought that was young, but really it's probably a good thing. At 14 months, Eric does not understand why he can't get what he wants, he just knows that he wants it. Even the brightest 14 month old will not be able to truly grasp that, or understand your reasons. He doesn't care about nutrition yet, or bed times, etc.
The general rule for tantrums is to ignore them, if he knows he won't get attention and will not get what he wants, he will stop. This is different from "crying it out" because it is a response to a specific behavior, not a method of dealing with general crying.
Time-out usually don't begin until 2 years old, but if his temper fits include hitting or destroying things, you may want to bput him in a safe place (like a crib) for minute so he can calm down.
Inconsistency in parenting is definately a problem, but you can't control BD. The best you can do is be consistent yourself.
Damn it! I just typed out this whole big response and accidentally deleted it. Doh!
I agree with the pp that the inconsistency with BD could be causing your child confusion. But, it could be just a stage. I have a 15 month old who has just started having temper tantums He screams, kicks, pinches, throws toys, etc. I know with my son, he gets frustrated easily and that's the main reason he has tantrums. Mentally, he is ready to try new things, but physically he is not yet capable. If I take him away from an activity, he screams. He gets angry when he can't eat what everybody else is eating, etc. For him, I know that it is definately a stage that he will outgrow.
That is probably some of it with your son, if he's not given in to, he will likely grow out of it. Unfortunately, there is a part of his life where he constantly gets what he wants and you have little control over it. Honestly, your son is probably too young to be acting spoiled. He is probably just acting his age, BUT he is being spoiled by BD at a time when it's critical for him to know that screaming and throwing things is not going to help him get his way.
There are things that you can do to help control the situation. It is important for you to be consistent and let him know that Mom doesn't give in to tantrums. He is not too young to start laerning that you and BD have different rules, and that you expect more of him. Once he understands this (and it will probably take a couple of years for him to fully get it), he will likely start acting out around BD, because he knows that he's more likely to get away with it there, KWIM?
Lyric did that. And she wouldn't do it with others, like my mom. I kinda thought it might've been because my mom gave Lyric whatever she wanted you know... and with me, I wouldn't. She still goes to bed for my mom, better than with me.
I agree with revolt though. BD might be giving him whatever he wants, then when you say no... he get frustrated. That's what it's like & still with Lyric and my mom. Whenever my mom takes Lyric for a week, Lyric comes back acting more "baby-ish", etc. I have talked t my mom, too.
When Eric does that, ignore him, then maybe try to calm him down by explaining to him. I know he's young, but it might help.