Hi ladies
You know I got to thinking and I can not really say I had an 'Orthodox Christian' marriage. My relationship was formed out in the world. We got married in the American Protestant Fundamentalist Cult Orthodox church, or APFCO. When we left APFCO, our marriage fell apart, much to my relief. It did not survive the transition into the Orthodox Church in America. I would not mind being single if it were not for my daughter. That is the heartbreaker. She is doing fine...Her daddy is the same as he ever was.
Today I went to a lecture on the prophecy of ezekiel at the local orthodox cathedral. I told my baby daddy about this two weeks ago. So today I get a message from him on my cell phone. He had driven to my town and wanted to know where I was because he wanted our daughter's wetsuit from out of my apartment.
Back in May or June my baby daddy forced his way into the apartment and I had to call the police. I am still very traumatized by this. I have a book called I just Can't get over it about ptsd and I am reading it and they do have a section on domestic violence.
By the way, does anyone have a references to domestic violence discussion forums? I was supposed to go to a group for abused women, and then and anger management class, but due to lack of personal transportation and child care it is not happening.
Anyways...I will not let my baby daddy have a key to my apartment. I do not trust him. He was violent with his last girlfriend. He knows he will get arrested if he ever tries that again, but I am still traumatized, like I said...
I did not criticize him when I returned his call. I had to prepare myself to call him...he has not changed in the 9 years I have known him, and this is the father of my child...what shame.
But I learned today it is good I have shame, that is how I will enter the kingdom of heaven. God does not like the proud. This is from a Lebanese professor, a very loving man.
Why do you have shame? People change, marriages end, children are brought up by single parents. This happens everyday, and I don't see the need for any of it to be a cause for shame.
And you certainly don't need to be ashamed about the fact that your daughter's father is violent and abusive. That is NOT your fault in any way, and anyone who tells you otherwise probably has issues of their own.
There are lots of single women raising children alone around these parts, and I imagine they can give you some great advice, if you need it.
I think humbling yourself before God doesn't mean you need to be ashamed of yourself or live a life of shame.
Yesterday I went to a bible lecture by a middle eastern orthodox christian professor. How many members of girl mama are middle eastern?
Shame is not a bad thing in the old testament. Shame is a good thing. Shame means we are humble before God.
As I said before, perhaps this is not the place for me to post such messages.
If you personally don't think you should post messages about specific religious matters or whatnot, perhaps there is a religious site that could help you out better? I'm not saying you shouldn't post here, because you're obviously welcome, but if you feel you aren't being helped in certain areas, the only person that can fix that is you.
Obviously a big conflict, and the one place I found to deal with that, is filled with pyschobabble, western philosophy and bad theology. So believe me, I am looking.