Are there different sorts of body types working in the brothels, or is everyone slim? Do they evaluate you on your body when you apply for a job there?
Look at every second woman you pass on the street, that's how many different women are workers, that's how they look.
We are everywhere.
The more girls that work for them the better, they'll take anyone.
I have a question and I hope it's not rude, I apologize in advance if it is.
Do you ever get irritated by the sex workers who give the rest of you a bad name? I know every profession has individuals that ruin it for the rest of the work population so I assume that sex work isn't any different. How do you deal with that? Is it cliquey?
Generally the people who give us a bad name are people who assume they know what the sex industry is like, feminist writers, musicians, my ex girlfriend, and go out of their way to tell others when they really have no idea.
Society as a whole has so many opinions on sex workers that are just bullshit that people who claim to know everything and really know nothing perpetuate and it's annoying that they are claiming to know and people are listening.
Very few workers have gotten on my nerves in that respect.
I have worked in brothels where i've kept to myself and others where i've followed typical workplace bitchiness.
Never taken it seriously really, not one to get caught up in workplace politics.
Guys love it, being the simple creatures that they are.
What? I know that this is a feminist website and as such the focus is generally the oppression of women as opposed to the feelings of men - however, at the same time, is it really okay to generalize such a huge group of people in this derogatory way?
Isn't the point of this thread to get away from stereotypes, misconceptions and oppression - rather than just redirecting it to another group?
Perhps Loz should of said "clients are simple creatures"?
There are some aspects the sex work where you make generalistions, walk a mile in my shoes (or my shiney boots :lol: ?) and lets see what you say...
I guess I haven't seen it in such an overt way recently. It's probably me, I've been skimming a lot more than usual (which is why I didn't know this had been addressed until Lozzy pointed it out to me). In no way was I trying to pick on Loz (sorry Lozzy if it seemed that way). I guess I would prefer to see it as clients are simple creatures - because that speaks directly of people you know, who you can describe. I just take offense to generalizations which don't help anyone - for men it's just another reason to call us feminists & womanists "man-haters" and for women it can be a way to dismiss bad behaviour. For example, attributing a male's actions to his being male diminishes how wrong his behaviour may be into to some "normal" gender trait. I don't think that the things that some men do should be trivialized like this, like it's because they're men. Rather, it should be clear that what they're doing is wrong and that it's because there's probably something wrong with them. I guess in essence, I think that the dickhead men out there need to be dealt individual responsibility rather than getting an, "I can't help it, that's the way we are," type excuse.
I believe you that were I to have your job, I'd think less of men. It pisses me off that they claim the right to have their way with women. I mean, it's funny in a way because from what I've read in this thread, it's most definitely the worker owning the rights, setting the rules, etc., and it's also you that gets the paycheque so I know you're in control. But that men want to control you and are willing to pay for it because they think they can really disgusts me.
By the way, I wasn't trying to bring the oppression (haha) of men to the forefront, my point was simply to address that generalizations are hurtful and that they hinder us more than they do men. And also, of course, I've got a son, damnit! :)
is sex work a very hard job? like physically stressful? i know a few people who do massage for a living who say if you do it right you dont get tired, but id think you'd be worn out. also how long is the normal work day?
is sex work a very hard job? like physically stressful? i know a few people who do massage for a living who say if you do it right you dont get tired, but id think you'd be worn out. also how long is the normal work day?
Massage is more physically stressful than sex.
Sometimes it gets tiring but if so you can take a break between jobs or leave early.
Sometimes if you get a big client you can also need a break.
Depends on what time the shift is, how long it is, how busy you are etc.
do you feel " put off" or " touched out" when it comes to sex outside of work ?
I don't think you'll EVER be able to get a clear answer to this question, no matter how many workers you ask. Just because everyone's boundaries and feelings are radically different, and no one's thought processes about sex are exactly the same.
I DO NOT like being touched in my "real life." No touching, no hugging, don't encroach on my personal space. I've been like that all my life.
It also hugely depends on whoever the other person is. There's a HUGE difference between a customer at a club and a significant other. My rule is: If you're going to pay for it, I'll give you what you paid for and treat you like a customer. If I want to share something with you, I will do that, and treat you like you deserve it.
Big difference.
Let's turn this discussion on its head.
Let's take a break from non-workers asking workers questions...it's starting to feel like an interview.
Instead lets have workers speak out against stereotypes, assumptions, judgements, expressed sentiments and prejudices regarding the industry in general and themselves as sex workers. Let's see if we can collectively break through some of these illusions.
One thing that bothers me is the assumption that all strippers (or prostitutes, or escorts, or fill in the blank) are sex goddesses or have some innate knowledge of sensuality that "regular" women don't have. See, this seems like a harmless assumption, because it's not negative. But it really, really bothers me, because it is just. so. wrong.
Every time someone says this, I feel like they're taking away my personality, my self, that which makes me me, and replacing it with some genaric image from a fashion magazine.
That isn't me. I don't care how you package that assumption, with jealousy, with resentment, with admiration, it's WRONG.
I'm no goddess, I'm not sexy, there is NOTHING inherently sexual about me. I'm not exceptionally pretty, there's nothing especially fun or exciting or sexy about my life. My idea of a good time is curled up with a Virginia Woolf novel, or maybe a Neil Gaiman graphic novel. My hair never looks brushed, I'm always tripping over things, and I sing to myself in public.
THAT'S me, so please, stop telling me I have/did/am something special in order to be a stripper.
I know you asked for workers to speak out against stereotypes, and I am not a worker. But i just want to say something and I hope i'm not out of line. I hate the way some people assume that if you are a sex worker that you want to have sex all the time or you are addicted to sex. Hell, I sell hair products for a living, and I could care less about what my hair looks like outside of work and maybe use one product on my hair. What I am trying to say is, just because you do it for a living doesn't nesesarily mean you want to do it outside of work.
is sex work a very hard job? like physically stressful? i know a few people who do massage for a living who say if you do it right you dont get tired, but id think you'd be worn out. also how long is the normal work day?
yes it can be!
Both physically & emotionally.
You have to expend a heap of energy staying in charge, making quick judgements, turning around jobs tht threaten to get difficult.
If you scam clients the right way you can run the job in a lazy way.
The average nightshift is around 7pm-3am, 7pm-7am on fri & sat nights.
By the last couple of hours you end up trying to scare guys away cause you can't work anymore.
do you feel " put off" or " touched out" when it comes to sex outside of work ?
the 'sex' inside work I don't consider to be actual sex, so it's not like I feel all fucked out per se.
But sometimes the exhaustion of working does impact on my personal/intmate life.
sometimes you can feel sore or sensitive the next day.
I don't have a hell of a lot of sex anyhow, been married with 3 kids & all, so I can't tell if I'm missing out cause of work!
Definitely you can get this feeling of 'tactile overload', depends how hard going the night before was.
Let's turn this discussion on its head.
Let's take a break from non-workers asking workers questions...it's starting to feel like an interview.
.
Actually, I am more than fine with questions still, I've found folks very respectful.
I don't feel interviewed, I feel as if important dialogue takes places when people feel free with questions, & I want people to not be too inimidated to ask.
Look at every second woman you pass on the street, that's how many different women are workers, that's how they look.
We are everywhere.
The more girls that work for them the better, they'll take anyone.
Generally the people who give us a bad name are people who assume they know what the sex industry is like, feminist writers, musicians, my ex girlfriend, and go out of their way to tell others when they really have no idea.
Society as a whole has so many opinions on sex workers that are just bullshit that people who claim to know everything and really know nothing perpetuate and it's annoying that they are claiming to know and people are listening.
Very few workers have gotten on my nerves in that respect.
I have worked in brothels where i've kept to myself and others where i've followed typical workplace bitchiness.
Never taken it seriously really, not one to get caught up in workplace politics.
I'd still like to know why it's okay to generalize men as "simple creatures".
Thanks for answering my questions mamas!
Maja pretty much said it all for me.
I guess I haven't seen it in such an overt way recently. It's probably me, I've been skimming a lot more than usual (which is why I didn't know this had been addressed until Lozzy pointed it out to me). In no way was I trying to pick on Loz (sorry Lozzy if it seemed that way). I guess I would prefer to see it as clients are simple creatures - because that speaks directly of people you know, who you can describe. I just take offense to generalizations which don't help anyone - for men it's just another reason to call us feminists & womanists "man-haters" and for women it can be a way to dismiss bad behaviour. For example, attributing a male's actions to his being male diminishes how wrong his behaviour may be into to some "normal" gender trait. I don't think that the things that some men do should be trivialized like this, like it's because they're men. Rather, it should be clear that what they're doing is wrong and that it's because there's probably something wrong with them. I guess in essence, I think that the dickhead men out there need to be dealt individual responsibility rather than getting an, "I can't help it, that's the way we are," type excuse.
I believe you that were I to have your job, I'd think less of men. It pisses me off that they claim the right to have their way with women. I mean, it's funny in a way because from what I've read in this thread, it's most definitely the worker owning the rights, setting the rules, etc., and it's also you that gets the paycheque so I know you're in control. But that men want to control you and are willing to pay for it because they think they can really disgusts me.
By the way, I wasn't trying to bring the oppression (haha) of men to the forefront, my point was simply to address that generalizations are hurtful and that they hinder us more than they do men. And also, of course, I've got a son, damnit! :)
Loz I've been meaning to ask you, why do you hate the word "panties"?
Oh, and...BUMP.
(haha I told you I wouldn't let up)
I don't know why I hate it, it just pisses me off.
Sounds poncy or something.
is sex work a very hard job? like physically stressful? i know a few people who do massage for a living who say if you do it right you dont get tired, but id think you'd be worn out. also how long is the normal work day?
some one asked me what i enjoy about being a sex worker.. i dont enjoy the whole experience just the attention from men in general.
The attention from the men who are your clients?
Are you honestly a worker?
Massage is more physically stressful than sex.
Sometimes it gets tiring but if so you can take a break between jobs or leave early.
Sometimes if you get a big client you can also need a break.
Depends on what time the shift is, how long it is, how busy you are etc.
do you feel " put off" or " touched out" when it comes to sex outside of work ?
I don't think you'll EVER be able to get a clear answer to this question, no matter how many workers you ask. Just because everyone's boundaries and feelings are radically different, and no one's thought processes about sex are exactly the same.
I DO NOT like being touched in my "real life." No touching, no hugging, don't encroach on my personal space. I've been like that all my life.
It also hugely depends on whoever the other person is. There's a HUGE difference between a customer at a club and a significant other. My rule is: If you're going to pay for it, I'll give you what you paid for and treat you like a customer. If I want to share something with you, I will do that, and treat you like you deserve it.
Big difference.
Let's turn this discussion on its head.
Let's take a break from non-workers asking workers questions...it's starting to feel like an interview.
Instead lets have workers speak out against stereotypes, assumptions, judgements, expressed sentiments and prejudices regarding the industry in general and themselves as sex workers. Let's see if we can collectively break through some of these illusions.
One thing that bothers me is the assumption that all strippers (or prostitutes, or escorts, or fill in the blank) are sex goddesses or have some innate knowledge of sensuality that "regular" women don't have. See, this seems like a harmless assumption, because it's not negative. But it really, really bothers me, because it is just. so. wrong.
Every time someone says this, I feel like they're taking away my personality, my self, that which makes me me, and replacing it with some genaric image from a fashion magazine.
That isn't me. I don't care how you package that assumption, with jealousy, with resentment, with admiration, it's WRONG.
I'm no goddess, I'm not sexy, there is NOTHING inherently sexual about me. I'm not exceptionally pretty, there's nothing especially fun or exciting or sexy about my life. My idea of a good time is curled up with a Virginia Woolf novel, or maybe a Neil Gaiman graphic novel. My hair never looks brushed, I'm always tripping over things, and I sing to myself in public.
THAT'S me, so please, stop telling me I have/did/am something special in order to be a stripper.
I know you asked for workers to speak out against stereotypes, and I am not a worker. But i just want to say something and I hope i'm not out of line. I hate the way some people assume that if you are a sex worker that you want to have sex all the time or you are addicted to sex. Hell, I sell hair products for a living, and I could care less about what my hair looks like outside of work and maybe use one product on my hair. What I am trying to say is, just because you do it for a living doesn't nesesarily mean you want to do it outside of work.
yes it can be!
Both physically & emotionally.
You have to expend a heap of energy staying in charge, making quick judgements, turning around jobs tht threaten to get difficult.
If you scam clients the right way you can run the job in a lazy way.
The average nightshift is around 7pm-3am, 7pm-7am on fri & sat nights.
By the last couple of hours you end up trying to scare guys away cause you can't work anymore.
I find the shift length gruelling.
the 'sex' inside work I don't consider to be actual sex, so it's not like I feel all fucked out per se.
But sometimes the exhaustion of working does impact on my personal/intmate life.
sometimes you can feel sore or sensitive the next day.
I don't have a hell of a lot of sex anyhow, been married with 3 kids & all, so I can't tell if I'm missing out cause of work!
Definitely you can get this feeling of 'tactile overload', depends how hard going the night before was.
Actually, I am more than fine with questions still, I've found folks very respectful.
I don't feel interviewed, I feel as if important dialogue takes places when people feel free with questions, & I want people to not be too inimidated to ask.
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