There are many, many sites that support FF, but not many for young girls and BFing. If girls want to FF after reading all the info provided here at GM then they should look at FF geared sites for feeding tips and still enjoy all that GM has to offer.
I understand what you're saying, but I don't think that refusing to give information on something that you just said is "acceptable" is the correct approach. How is DEPRIVING someone of information on formulafeeding (while deeming it "acceptable") any better than shunning it altogether?
Im not saying to refuse. I was mainly refering to the fact that FF ?'s do get put in the BF forum and some FF mothers get offended when theyre told that its for BF mothers and not FF.
umm..*how to clarify* I think questions of ALL types should be answered, I was more gearing my post to ... FF mothers who felt "slighted" . LIke, how it was thought that the risk of FF couldnt be posted/discussed( I believe this was brought up on the first or second page?) I took that to mean that we couldnt post such things because it would hurt the feelings of FF mothers. GM is pro BB and I think its great, and that if you choose to FF, but dont want to hear what BF'ers have to say maybe you should consult another site for feeding answers but not leave GM.
I totally understand its a woman chose, feelings can be involved, etc., but GM is great in its support of BF and one of the only sites Ive seen geared to young mammas and BF'ing.
I apologize if this still doesnt clear things up. I dont want anyone to feel shunned or demeaned, especially by me :oops: :(
FF questions that are put in Feed That Baby are always moved to Bringing Up Baby as soon as an admin notices or is told.
I don't really see your point about how a formula feeding mom should ask questions elsewhere if they "don't want to hear what breastfeeding moms have to say"... That kind of mentality is actually pretty sickening to me and this site is above all a prochoice site for young moms...not a prochoice site for young moms who breastfeed and other ways of feeding aren't allowed to be discussed... How exclusive should we get? Hell if that's the case I should boot myself out now since I didn't breastfeed and never will.
I want moms or pregnant girls to come here feeling comfortable enough to ask their questions without receiving a response like "Sorry, we only support THIS type of parenting here...maybe you should check out another site for THAT." How does that help to form community?
It's one thing if someone asks for breastfeeding info or if it can be offered in a situation (like a mom who is struggling to breastfeed but wants to and is supplementing, for instance), but what is the point of excluding formula feeding questions altogether?
I know that when I first joined (and actually started posting on) GM, my son was just a few weeks old. I was formula feeding from the start and had never had any desire to breastfeed. I was BOMBARDED with PMs and comments telling me how to relactate or how to breastfeed only, when I had expressed zero desire to do so and made that clear. I was irritated more than anything and had told one woman I would try relactating (all while actually trying to get my boobs to stop leaking) just to get her off of my back...of course I had no intention on doing so and it's even more of a turn off to have something forced upon you.
I personally think that a vegetarian lifestyle is the healthiest and best way to go (for both adults and kids), but I wouldn't tell someone to go ask questions about meat preparation or consumption elsewhere...nor would I tell someone to go ask elsewhere about getting their kid to sleep in a crib just because cosleeping worked out for me and my kid. We all parent differently, and I don't think that any of these things make GirlMom any less. I'd rather that GM be a site that is accepting of the "societal norms" (assuming that neither neglect or abuse is happening) of raising kids while encouraging women to explore less common and many times easier alternatives, than be a site that is exclusive to those "in the know".
I'd rather that GM be a site that is accepting of the "societal norms" (assuming that neither neglect or abuse is happening) of raising kids while encouraging women to explore less common and many times easier alternatives, than be a site that is exclusive to those "in the know".
Societal NORMS??? You can't be serious. NO ONE said this should be a breastfeeding only site- just that breastfeeding needs to be the norm HERE. Formula is the norm everywhere else.
So we should all bottlefeed formula, have our kids sleep in cribs in another room, and introduce solids at 4 months and if we don't we shouldn't post about it? Or at least make sure we endorse it the risky choices? All of which carry signifigant risk that the AAP is just NOW starting to recognize. Societal norms say most of us shouldn't be parents.
GM isn't about societal norms.
I get that you don't want to breastfeed but trying to make this site pro-formula (which is the societal norm) is really offensive to us who breastfeed. Formula carries RISK and I think, as with ANY parenting choice, a mother needs to be fully informed- not coddled because it's a societal norm.
My son would have died had he been fed formula and his death would have been the direct result of my feeding choice. See why I am pro-breastfeeding? This is more than simply "how a mother feeds her baby." SHe needs to be informed of the RISK of her choice and if that is acceptable to her- then go for it. Same with vaccines, crib sleeping, TV watching... and the list goes on and on.
dude, not my point at all. seriously...there's a difference between shunning/excluding people and what i'm suggesting (realizing there are pressures on women from society to raise their kids certain ways and it's pretty crappy to say "we're not going to give this type of info for this reason" when these women aren't hurting their kids...and if someone says i am hurting my child for formula feeding i will spontaneously combust). besides, my point was including the whole spectrum of issues and not just breastfeeding.
Quote:
So we should all bottlefeed formula, have our kids sleep in cribs in another room, and introduce solids at 4 months and if we don't we shouldn't post about it?
wtf? where did you twist my post to come up with that? my point is there's really no point in telling moms what they are doing is wrong when they post things like that. not that we should encourage these types of parenting...it's one thing to give info and another to be an asshole. do you think it would feel like a welcoming community for a young mom to come here talking about her kid in a crib and get no replies or to get a reply like "sorry but that's not how WE parent here..."
my point is there's really no point in telling moms what they are doing is wrong when they post things like that. not that we should encourage these types of parenting...it's one thing to give info and another to be an asshole. do you think it would feel like a welcoming community for a young mom to come here talking about her kid in a crib and get no replies or to get a reply like "sorry but that's not how WE parent here..."
No one said not to give them info. Even the other poster said if they were offended by GM posting breastfeeding infomation them they can go elsewhere. Although since most breastfeeding posts are contained in one forum it shouldn't be hard to stay away from them.
No one said we had to be exclusive or be an asshole to be pro-breastfeeding.
Why, nearly everytime someone posts something about breastfeeding it's "OH we are excluding formula feeding mothers"?? Ummm NO- we aren't. Not at all. It also seems it's unacceptable to not be inclusive of formula feeding mothers- it's par for the course to marganilze breastfeeding mothers.
The issue is a few months ago EVERY SINGLE TIME breastfeeding was brought up a formula feeding mother was offended- even at posts posting INFORMATION. How exactly is that being an asshole?
After that- breastfeeding posts dropped off- it's no wonder since one couldn't even post "Tylenol is safe to take while breastfeeding" without someone getting offended.
Ericka, Im trully sorry that you still dont understand either of my post, especially since I made the second one to clarify that I meant MOTHERS WHO WERE PUTOFF/OFFENDED BY GM STATING THAT BF WAS BEST SHOULD CONSULT A MORE "SOCIALLY EXCEPTABLE" SITE.
I was going to write another clarification post, but seeing that Delphiki included the corrent meaning of my post I wont. If you would like to discuss how you view it to as opposed to how I keep trying to explain my view, please PM me :)
I don't really understand how someone could be offended by breastfeeding info assuming it doesn't say "your kid will suffer and die if you formulafeed".
Also, we've talked about this in mod squad recently and think that it is up to not only the breastfeeding mods to help out with BF threads but also up to the members to keep them going and put up info that you see fit. I am not saying this hasn't been done but you (this is GENERAL) have to make threads that you want to see, you know?
What I'm saying is that BF info should probably not be in FF threads (assuming the mom isn't wanting to breastfeed and is asking an FF question) and that FF info is going to stay out of the BF forum (assuming threads are moved and such...I personally do not read that forum unless a thread is asked to be moved). I think that breastfeeding can be promoted and encouraged without being offensive (and it already is!) and that formula feeding can be accepted as a decision the mother made for whatever reason without negative reactions from others. I think that if someone is being offended then maybe it should be brought up to an admin of that forum (Valerie or Kristin). Keep in mind that I have no idea what has happened in these threads.
My main point: go ahead and make "breastfeeding rocks and here's why" posts, but since breastfeeding truly is the healthiest option for a kiddo, there are ways to do so without saying why formula sucks or saying things that would upset a formula feeding mother (remember I have no idea why people were offended as I didn't see the threads in question).
I don't really understand how someone could be offended by breastfeeding info assuming it doesn't say "your kid will suffer and die if you formulafeed".
OK, i bottle formula fed because i was still in school, and didn't want to have the deal with the hassle of pumping breast milk, and making sure i had enough to supply, and things like that. Plus my breasts hurt like crazy, and i didn't want a baby attached to them.
If i ever do it again, now that i am a stay at home mother, depending on the situation, i will give breastfeeding a try. i personally don't think that i will enjoy it, and i also liked the fact that Shawn could get out of bed and feed Austin while i was sleeping by just mixing up formula, plus gettin it with Wic was great as well.
But thats just me, it's proven that breastmilk is better for babies, but at the time when i had Austin, for me, it wasn't practical.
There are ways to make Breastfeeding more "practical" though. I don't know if I like that phrase associated with Breastfeeding. It wasn't something you felt was needed in your unique situation but doesn't mean another mother wouldn't find it "practical." It just seems to trivialize the who act of breastfeeding when it is an important and wonderful thing for those who choose to do it.
Brestfeeding is definately the healthiest and most natural thing to do and anyone who says otherwise is kidding themselves, we have breasts for a reason and the antibodies in breastmilk cannot be replicated in formula.
However it is each individuals choice and I will not judge a mother for choosing to feed her baby formula as it is her body and her life.
I breastfeed and as I am not planning to vaccinate my daughter I will be extended breastfeeding so she gets the extra antibodies.
i think what angelica was saying ( correct me if im wrong) some mothers truly have no option but to formula feed. for me, i didnt have an option. to say it could be practical isnt listening to what she is saying. mothers really shouldnt have to justify why she choose to raise her kid her own way. but for the sake of arguement, ( btw, im not trying to inflame an already hostile thread, but i think both sides need respect) breast is best, but on the same note, isnt that the argument, its better to wait till your finacialy stable, maybe in your 30's , married to have a baby? you'd have access to great medical care, send your kid to harvard, live in a rich safer neighborhood. but not every one has these choices. we ask people to respect our choices, trust that we know our situation best and can best make decisions for our bodies and families. i dont disagree that breast feeding is wonderful, and awesome for you childs health but i still know i have done the best i could.
Physiologically Breastmilk is best for a baby, it's made for a baby, formula is human made and therefore inferior to something full of antibodies that occurs naturally for the sole purpose of feeding babies.
Breastmilk clears up many adult illnesses as well, since when did formula do that?
I don't care if people formula feed, I have a close friend who had to wean her baby due to cancer, I don't think formula feeders are bad people and it probably is the best choice for them, hell I wouldn't say i'd never give my daughter formula even while breastfeeding because I can't predict circumstances.
It is not in the realm of waiting for certain circumstances to have kids because these circumstances are not natural and have not been proven to be better, breastmilk however is natural and is without a doubt better for a baby than formula as it is not an artificial substance and has been proven much better for any human in terms of antibodies and nutrients.
i think what angelica was saying ( correct me if im wrong) some mothers truly have no option but to formula feed. for me, i didnt have an option. to say it could be practical isnt listening to what she is saying. mothers really shouldnt have to justify why she choose to raise her kid her own way. but for the sake of arguement, ( btw, im not trying to inflame an already hostile thread, but i think both sides need respect) breast is best, but on the same note, isnt that the argument, its better to wait till your finacialy stable, maybe in your 30's , married to have a baby? you'd have access to great medical care, send your kid to harvard, live in a rich safer neighborhood. but not every one has these choices. we ask people to respect our choices, trust that we know our situation best and can best make decisions for our bodies and families. i dont disagree that breast feeding is wonderful, and awesome for you childs health but i still know i have done the best i could.
No they shouldnt' have to justify why they do something but to say it isn't practical can influence others not to do it. It really can be practical and is for those who do it so I don't feel it's fair to make a statement like that about it.
Breastfeeding isn't just "best" though, it is the standard. It is what formula tries to be, it is the only complete food source. Saying it's "best" to do it like it's "best" to wait to have children etc reallu underminds why it is best and makes it seem like it isn't worth doing if you're younger when it is.
To make a really grasping comparison it is like a natural birth vs a c-section/medicated birth. A natural birth is better, is the standard but some women need a C-section, some women choose a C-section and some are made to fee they need it when they don't. The problem with that is the last group, the ones that are misinformed and then increase the risks to themselves and their baby because of that misinformation. Breastfeeding is the standard, some choose not to do it, some really cannot physically, and some feel they cannot but are really misinformed. We are working to clear the confusion here.
No you do not have to justify your choice but you do need to know that this website is committed to helping mothers breastfeed and to do away with the myths that have caused many to fail, that is why we speak out. Not to offend but to inform.
The problem with that is the last group, the ones that are misinformed and then increase the risks to themselves and their baby because of that misinformation. Breastfeeding is the standard, some choose not to do it, some really cannot physically, and some feel they cannot but are really misinformed. We are working to clear the confusion here.
You have really found a way to say what I have been thinking. This is what gets the breastfeeding activists here attacked. It used to be okay to say (here on girl mom) that really there are very few situations when women really can't breastfeed. There are extreme, and rare, cases that have been mentioned. But, (and I am sure I will get flamed for this) I don't think that having to go to work is a reason that someone CAN'T breastfeed. If you don't want to do the things that can make it work, then just say it. But, when you say that you can't because you had to work then you are giving pregnant women who have to work after the birth the idea that they can't, either. This coming from someone who nursed two kids for 6 years and worked and went to school. I is a juggling act but it is absolutely possible and cost way less money in the long run than formula feeding. And now I am preparing to do it for the third time. I know that it is possible and I am glad to share information with anyone who wants it.
Okay, now I will prepare to have things thrown at me.
I also find it very disheartening to hear "I couldn't breastfeed becuase..."
Can't is a very pwoerful word, it implies the task to be impossible and thus, many women feel that if they are in that same situation ie: working or school, they shouldn't bother to try nursing as well.
It is DIFFICULT at best to breastfeed throught hese situations but certainly not impossible. I respect the fact that each mama has to make the feeding decision that works for HER and her child. However, saying CAN'T is really offsetting to new or expecting would be nusring mamas.
My daughter is 16 months, she still nurses. I work two jobs and part time school. It ain't easy but it's not impossible either.
I agree with what emilydoula said about "if you don't want to make it work, just say so"...SERIOUSLY! I think that is a major thing that can be discouraging for women who do want to try to make it work.
For me, I just personally did not want to breastfeed (and didn't feel like it ever and never want to). I felt like I had to make excuses before when I first joined here because otherwise my inbox was full of messages about breastfeeding and relactating.
Thank You Erika. I do seriously appreciate the way you are upfront wih your reasons for not breast feeding. Anytime someone says that they had to go back to work/school, didn't have enough milk, it hurt too much....etc it makes me crazy. All of those things are things that can be worked with IF you want to breastfeed. Everytime someone makes an excuse for their reason for not breastfeeding it plants a seed of doubt in someone who has not yet tried to breastfeed.
Im not saying to refuse. I was mainly refering to the fact that FF ?'s do get put in the BF forum and some FF mothers get offended when theyre told that its for BF mothers and not FF.
umm..*how to clarify* I think questions of ALL types should be answered, I was more gearing my post to ... FF mothers who felt "slighted" . LIke, how it was thought that the risk of FF couldnt be posted/discussed( I believe this was brought up on the first or second page?) I took that to mean that we couldnt post such things because it would hurt the feelings of FF mothers. GM is pro BB and I think its great, and that if you choose to FF, but dont want to hear what BF'ers have to say maybe you should consult another site for feeding answers but not leave GM.
I totally understand its a woman chose, feelings can be involved, etc., but GM is great in its support of BF and one of the only sites Ive seen geared to young mammas and BF'ing.
I apologize if this still doesnt clear things up. I dont want anyone to feel shunned or demeaned, especially by me :oops: :(
FF questions that are put in Feed That Baby are always moved to Bringing Up Baby as soon as an admin notices or is told.
I don't really see your point about how a formula feeding mom should ask questions elsewhere if they "don't want to hear what breastfeeding moms have to say"... That kind of mentality is actually pretty sickening to me and this site is above all a prochoice site for young moms...not a prochoice site for young moms who breastfeed and other ways of feeding aren't allowed to be discussed... How exclusive should we get? Hell if that's the case I should boot myself out now since I didn't breastfeed and never will.
I want moms or pregnant girls to come here feeling comfortable enough to ask their questions without receiving a response like "Sorry, we only support THIS type of parenting here...maybe you should check out another site for THAT." How does that help to form community?
It's one thing if someone asks for breastfeeding info or if it can be offered in a situation (like a mom who is struggling to breastfeed but wants to and is supplementing, for instance), but what is the point of excluding formula feeding questions altogether?
I know that when I first joined (and actually started posting on) GM, my son was just a few weeks old. I was formula feeding from the start and had never had any desire to breastfeed. I was BOMBARDED with PMs and comments telling me how to relactate or how to breastfeed only, when I had expressed zero desire to do so and made that clear. I was irritated more than anything and had told one woman I would try relactating (all while actually trying to get my boobs to stop leaking) just to get her off of my back...of course I had no intention on doing so and it's even more of a turn off to have something forced upon you.
I personally think that a vegetarian lifestyle is the healthiest and best way to go (for both adults and kids), but I wouldn't tell someone to go ask questions about meat preparation or consumption elsewhere...nor would I tell someone to go ask elsewhere about getting their kid to sleep in a crib just because cosleeping worked out for me and my kid. We all parent differently, and I don't think that any of these things make GirlMom any less. I'd rather that GM be a site that is accepting of the "societal norms" (assuming that neither neglect or abuse is happening) of raising kids while encouraging women to explore less common and many times easier alternatives, than be a site that is exclusive to those "in the know".
Societal NORMS??? You can't be serious. NO ONE said this should be a breastfeeding only site- just that breastfeeding needs to be the norm HERE. Formula is the norm everywhere else.
So we should all bottlefeed formula, have our kids sleep in cribs in another room, and introduce solids at 4 months and if we don't we shouldn't post about it? Or at least make sure we endorse it the risky choices? All of which carry signifigant risk that the AAP is just NOW starting to recognize. Societal norms say most of us shouldn't be parents.
GM isn't about societal norms.
I get that you don't want to breastfeed but trying to make this site pro-formula (which is the societal norm) is really offensive to us who breastfeed. Formula carries RISK and I think, as with ANY parenting choice, a mother needs to be fully informed- not coddled because it's a societal norm.
My son would have died had he been fed formula and his death would have been the direct result of my feeding choice. See why I am pro-breastfeeding? This is more than simply "how a mother feeds her baby." SHe needs to be informed of the RISK of her choice and if that is acceptable to her- then go for it. Same with vaccines, crib sleeping, TV watching... and the list goes on and on.
dude, not my point at all. seriously...there's a difference between shunning/excluding people and what i'm suggesting (realizing there are pressures on women from society to raise their kids certain ways and it's pretty crappy to say "we're not going to give this type of info for this reason" when these women aren't hurting their kids...and if someone says i am hurting my child for formula feeding i will spontaneously combust). besides, my point was including the whole spectrum of issues and not just breastfeeding.
wtf? where did you twist my post to come up with that? my point is there's really no point in telling moms what they are doing is wrong when they post things like that. not that we should encourage these types of parenting...it's one thing to give info and another to be an asshole. do you think it would feel like a welcoming community for a young mom to come here talking about her kid in a crib and get no replies or to get a reply like "sorry but that's not how WE parent here..."
No one said not to give them info. Even the other poster said if they were offended by GM posting breastfeeding infomation them they can go elsewhere. Although since most breastfeeding posts are contained in one forum it shouldn't be hard to stay away from them.
No one said we had to be exclusive or be an asshole to be pro-breastfeeding.
Why, nearly everytime someone posts something about breastfeeding it's "OH we are excluding formula feeding mothers"?? Ummm NO- we aren't. Not at all. It also seems it's unacceptable to not be inclusive of formula feeding mothers- it's par for the course to marganilze breastfeeding mothers.
The issue is a few months ago EVERY SINGLE TIME breastfeeding was brought up a formula feeding mother was offended- even at posts posting INFORMATION. How exactly is that being an asshole?
After that- breastfeeding posts dropped off- it's no wonder since one couldn't even post "Tylenol is safe to take while breastfeeding" without someone getting offended.
Thank you Delphiki for understanding my post.
Ericka, Im trully sorry that you still dont understand either of my post, especially since I made the second one to clarify that I meant MOTHERS WHO WERE PUTOFF/OFFENDED BY GM STATING THAT BF WAS BEST SHOULD CONSULT A MORE "SOCIALLY EXCEPTABLE" SITE.
I was going to write another clarification post, but seeing that Delphiki included the corrent meaning of my post I wont. If you would like to discuss how you view it to as opposed to how I keep trying to explain my view, please PM me :)
I don't really understand how someone could be offended by breastfeeding info assuming it doesn't say "your kid will suffer and die if you formulafeed".
Also, we've talked about this in mod squad recently and think that it is up to not only the breastfeeding mods to help out with BF threads but also up to the members to keep them going and put up info that you see fit. I am not saying this hasn't been done but you (this is GENERAL) have to make threads that you want to see, you know?
What I'm saying is that BF info should probably not be in FF threads (assuming the mom isn't wanting to breastfeed and is asking an FF question) and that FF info is going to stay out of the BF forum (assuming threads are moved and such...I personally do not read that forum unless a thread is asked to be moved). I think that breastfeeding can be promoted and encouraged without being offensive (and it already is!) and that formula feeding can be accepted as a decision the mother made for whatever reason without negative reactions from others. I think that if someone is being offended then maybe it should be brought up to an admin of that forum (Valerie or Kristin). Keep in mind that I have no idea what has happened in these threads.
My main point: go ahead and make "breastfeeding rocks and here's why" posts, but since breastfeeding truly is the healthiest option for a kiddo, there are ways to do so without saying why formula sucks or saying things that would upset a formula feeding mother (remember I have no idea why people were offended as I didn't see the threads in question).
You and me both.
OK, i bottle formula fed because i was still in school, and didn't want to have the deal with the hassle of pumping breast milk, and making sure i had enough to supply, and things like that. Plus my breasts hurt like crazy, and i didn't want a baby attached to them.
If i ever do it again, now that i am a stay at home mother, depending on the situation, i will give breastfeeding a try. i personally don't think that i will enjoy it, and i also liked the fact that Shawn could get out of bed and feed Austin while i was sleeping by just mixing up formula, plus gettin it with Wic was great as well.
But thats just me, it's proven that breastmilk is better for babies, but at the time when i had Austin, for me, it wasn't practical.
There are ways to make Breastfeeding more "practical" though. I don't know if I like that phrase associated with Breastfeeding. It wasn't something you felt was needed in your unique situation but doesn't mean another mother wouldn't find it "practical." It just seems to trivialize the who act of breastfeeding when it is an important and wonderful thing for those who choose to do it.
Brestfeeding is definately the healthiest and most natural thing to do and anyone who says otherwise is kidding themselves, we have breasts for a reason and the antibodies in breastmilk cannot be replicated in formula.
However it is each individuals choice and I will not judge a mother for choosing to feed her baby formula as it is her body and her life.
I breastfeed and as I am not planning to vaccinate my daughter I will be extended breastfeeding so she gets the extra antibodies.
i think what angelica was saying ( correct me if im wrong) some mothers truly have no option but to formula feed. for me, i didnt have an option. to say it could be practical isnt listening to what she is saying. mothers really shouldnt have to justify why she choose to raise her kid her own way. but for the sake of arguement, ( btw, im not trying to inflame an already hostile thread, but i think both sides need respect) breast is best, but on the same note, isnt that the argument, its better to wait till your finacialy stable, maybe in your 30's , married to have a baby? you'd have access to great medical care, send your kid to harvard, live in a rich safer neighborhood. but not every one has these choices. we ask people to respect our choices, trust that we know our situation best and can best make decisions for our bodies and families. i dont disagree that breast feeding is wonderful, and awesome for you childs health but i still know i have done the best i could.
Physiologically Breastmilk is best for a baby, it's made for a baby, formula is human made and therefore inferior to something full of antibodies that occurs naturally for the sole purpose of feeding babies.
Breastmilk clears up many adult illnesses as well, since when did formula do that?
I don't care if people formula feed, I have a close friend who had to wean her baby due to cancer, I don't think formula feeders are bad people and it probably is the best choice for them, hell I wouldn't say i'd never give my daughter formula even while breastfeeding because I can't predict circumstances.
It is not in the realm of waiting for certain circumstances to have kids because these circumstances are not natural and have not been proven to be better, breastmilk however is natural and is without a doubt better for a baby than formula as it is not an artificial substance and has been proven much better for any human in terms of antibodies and nutrients.
No they shouldnt' have to justify why they do something but to say it isn't practical can influence others not to do it. It really can be practical and is for those who do it so I don't feel it's fair to make a statement like that about it.
Breastfeeding isn't just "best" though, it is the standard. It is what formula tries to be, it is the only complete food source. Saying it's "best" to do it like it's "best" to wait to have children etc reallu underminds why it is best and makes it seem like it isn't worth doing if you're younger when it is.
To make a really grasping comparison it is like a natural birth vs a c-section/medicated birth. A natural birth is better, is the standard but some women need a C-section, some women choose a C-section and some are made to fee they need it when they don't. The problem with that is the last group, the ones that are misinformed and then increase the risks to themselves and their baby because of that misinformation. Breastfeeding is the standard, some choose not to do it, some really cannot physically, and some feel they cannot but are really misinformed. We are working to clear the confusion here.
No you do not have to justify your choice but you do need to know that this website is committed to helping mothers breastfeed and to do away with the myths that have caused many to fail, that is why we speak out. Not to offend but to inform.
You have really found a way to say what I have been thinking. This is what gets the breastfeeding activists here attacked. It used to be okay to say (here on girl mom) that really there are very few situations when women really can't breastfeed. There are extreme, and rare, cases that have been mentioned. But, (and I am sure I will get flamed for this) I don't think that having to go to work is a reason that someone CAN'T breastfeed. If you don't want to do the things that can make it work, then just say it. But, when you say that you can't because you had to work then you are giving pregnant women who have to work after the birth the idea that they can't, either. This coming from someone who nursed two kids for 6 years and worked and went to school. I is a juggling act but it is absolutely possible and cost way less money in the long run than formula feeding. And now I am preparing to do it for the third time. I know that it is possible and I am glad to share information with anyone who wants it.
Okay, now I will prepare to have things thrown at me.
I also find it very disheartening to hear "I couldn't breastfeed becuase..."
Can't is a very pwoerful word, it implies the task to be impossible and thus, many women feel that if they are in that same situation ie: working or school, they shouldn't bother to try nursing as well.
It is DIFFICULT at best to breastfeed throught hese situations but certainly not impossible. I respect the fact that each mama has to make the feeding decision that works for HER and her child. However, saying CAN'T is really offsetting to new or expecting would be nusring mamas.
My daughter is 16 months, she still nurses. I work two jobs and part time school. It ain't easy but it's not impossible either.
I agree with what emilydoula said about "if you don't want to make it work, just say so"...SERIOUSLY! I think that is a major thing that can be discouraging for women who do want to try to make it work.
For me, I just personally did not want to breastfeed (and didn't feel like it ever and never want to). I felt like I had to make excuses before when I first joined here because otherwise my inbox was full of messages about breastfeeding and relactating.
Seriously, don't wanna breastfeed? Just say so.
Thank You Erika. I do seriously appreciate the way you are upfront wih your reasons for not breast feeding. Anytime someone says that they had to go back to work/school, didn't have enough milk, it hurt too much....etc it makes me crazy. All of those things are things that can be worked with IF you want to breastfeed. Everytime someone makes an excuse for their reason for not breastfeeding it plants a seed of doubt in someone who has not yet tried to breastfeed.
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