Well yeaterday i dropped my daughter off at day care and left. And this other mother dropped her daugher off like an hour later. And from what i heard my daughter went up and grabbed the little girls face. the staff told me that she was just trying to hug and wasnt going to hurt her, but the mother flipped out and took her daughter home. when i picked Carlee up from daycare the other mother was outside because she wanted to "talk to me". she told me that Carlee bit her daughter 6 times.....that was false. well i dont think my daughter is always the one starting stuff. i know her child isnt an angel neither. can my daughter be a bully???? now i didnt yell back at the mother because i was holding my daughter. They even had to switch Carlee's classroom. i dont think its fair!!
I would talk to the daycare staff about it and find out what their perspective is. Is this an ongoing problem with the other child?
Your daughter isn't a bully, she isn't even two yet! Biting, hitting, etc, are developmentally appropriate (although not socially, obviously) and I believe this other mother is out of line, especially if she was yelling at you. Even if your daughter DID bite her daughter 6 times, it seems to me it may well be the daycare's problem since they should be the ones disciplining her/separating the two of them. I would talk to the daycare and get their input and see if you can make a plan together, as I do know of a little child (2ish) whose daycare was terminated for this type of behavior.
I disagree that it's the daycare's problem. Well, I agree and I disagree. The daycare is not soley responsible for discipline and if it isn't happening at home (I'm not saying that it's not) then it's much more difficult to enforce somewhere else.
To a lot of parents, their children can do no wrong and thus, the other child(ren) are always at fault. Yelling at you like that, especially with your daughter right there was way out of line and completely non-productive and I'm sorry you two had to go through that.
I'd definitely talk to the daycare and check if they mind talking to the other child's parents as well. It's also important to talk to your daughter. She is only two so I doubt she's trying to hurt anyone and if she was just trying to give her friend a hug, she probably needs a lot of validation - it would be really difficult to understand why there's such a fuss given that she was just being a good friend!
Anyway, don't beat yourself up over it, just talk to the relevant people and focus on your kid. If the other mother approaches you like this again tell her that you will not talk to her until she is calm and rational, as her behaviour will only encourage negative behaviour from both of your children, and you're not interested in that.
Has you kid ever been bit or hurt by another child? It's horrible and infuriating. For many moms, leaving your child all day is hard enough, but when they are getting hurt at daycare it makes you feel guilty.
At this age, i don't think it "goes 2 ways". Most 2 year olds don't need a real reason to hurt another child. If she was older and being antoagonized by another child, I would agree with you.
I also understand your frustration. You didn't want your child to hurt the other, but I also don't think you should point fingers at the daycare. it looks like their way of handling it was to put your daughter in another class.