baby cravings

first of all, whether you spell out anti-woman words or leave it to the imagination, we ask that you not so much as allude to derogatory terms for women, people of color, queer folks, etc...
something to check out: http://www.girl-mom.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=11931

I'm sorry that you haven't encountered much support for your reproductive choices. That said, I doubt many mamas here are going to tell you that they highly recommend having a kid before, say, you're done with your schooling.
I know I wouldn't recommend it. We rise to the challenge, and I'm sure you would to. There's nothing about us that makes parenting harder for us, but there IS something about this society that forces us to meet with so many goddamn brick walls and girl, you can't understand how limiting motherhood is (or feels) until you are in it. It isn't about whether you can handle the responsibility...it's just that irresponsibility can feel really good...and I think that you deserve a little bit of that.

i agree. i'm not saying that young women can't be mothers, but i am saying that not a day goes by that i don't miss being able to go out drinking with my friends, go to the movies, or just hang out downtown without feeling like i'm spending money i shouldn't be spending or being looked at funny because i'm pregnant.

i don't regret my daughter, but if i had the choice, i would definitely have waited until i graduated college, seen more of the world, and been as irresponsible as i wanted to be for as long as i wanted. and i'm 20. there is such more ahead of you that you can't even imagine. so many opportunities, so many chances to do so many things, and i'm not saying you can't experience a happy life with a child, but i know that even just expecting one has limited my options, my finances, and my freedom.

give it some serious thought. talk to other young mothers. i'm not saying to wait because i'm against you. i'm saying to wait because although i'm thankful for my daughter, i am just as thankful for every second i was able to live just for me.

I sort of agree with what the others have said, although I dont really care what other people have to say about me, or if people look at me and judge me...people who want to will always find something to judge me for anyway.

The only thing I would say is to make sure you do a lot of research, whether that involves talking to girl-moms on this site, or your friends, or anyone, just talking with people who have experience and can tell you the realities. For me, I dont care that I cant go out and have the same social life because I was tired of all that anyway, but for some people its a big thing to lose and something that needs to be thought about.

Money is a big thing too as much as I hate that fact, it is, and something you really need to consider. I didnt think too much about what would happen if I got pregnant, only that I wouldn't mind...but things do change when you fall pregnant and realise what your responsibilties are.

I don't want you to feel 'attacked' or judged at all, but there are a lot of people here who will warn you about choosing to have a child so young, not to be hurtful but just to make sure you are truly aware of everything that is involved. I know that somedays recently its really hit me that I am going to be a mother very soon and thats a huge responsibility for me to even think about. I want my daughter very much and am very excited, but a decision like yours needs to be thought about a lot, for a while, before you decide.

Hopefully you make the choice that you know is right for you. But please dont be offended if people ask you to really think about your choice, its only people speaking from experience trying to help.

i love being a mom to my son but i too miss those days of being out with friends and having a lot of free time too but ultimatly its up to you

I'm not sure how old you are, but I think you should a few things before having kids. Things like:

1. Live on your own
2. Finish school
3. Be a YOUNG PERSON

I didn't really get to do any of those things before I got pregnant, and I always wonder what it would be like to be a young single woman with no responsibilities and no guilt! yanno?

i agree with notyouraveragemomma

I have a son who is 15 months old, and (not recently but) I have wanted to ttc again.
I know this can be hard to do, but think, seriously, about why it is that you NEED a baby right now in your life. What if you waited a few years? There is no rush for you to have a baby now, you have a good 20+ reproductive years ahead of you! It would be much easier to provide for a baby if you had it after you got a college degree, plus getting that degree would be a helluva lot easier, and you could probably slip in a few parties too. :wink: I want to study abroad and bring my son. Its not impossible, but I will probably have to go over early, find housing and daycare, and then have him sent over. None of this will be free, only my tuition and room and board is free unfortunately. I am excited to share this experience with him but it will not be easy on any terms. I love my son to death but if I could do it over, I would probably have had him when I was older, preferably after grad school. (fyi I had my son when I was 17)
Also something to remember, a baby doesnt act like they love you. First you are pregnant, you get sick and tired and your back and legs hurt. Then they are born and sleep all day and stay up all night. Then when you think you have them sleeping through the night, they learn how to say no and mine, they can run away and they can throw toys, hit and bite. Its not all fun. Babies won't replace someone you have lost.
Maybe the reason why your friends and family are getting mad at you is because they realize these things and they care about you, and maybe they are afraid of what you are going to do. I hope you don't feel like we are yelling at you here, but when I (and probably many mama's on this site) see a girl come on here saying she wants to ttc, all I want to do is say, No! This is a hard life, not even necesarily because we are young but because we are looked down upon by society who hates our existance. It is so much easier to go to school, go out and party, hang out with friends and be young when you dont have responsibilities! Yes it is nice to have someone to care for, but like i said, you still have many years of reproductivity ahead of you.
If you ever want to talk, please pm me.

i think another questoin you need to ask is are your parents willing and wanting to help you riase a child??? becuase if you are living in thier home that would be the reality of it.

I would definatly consider where you are in your life right now.

Im done high school, and all ive got is retail experience. Im depandant on my SO, and thats scary sometimes. Without an education, or a good job, baby life can be friggen difficult. I realize that you think you are ready for it now, but NOTHING can prepare you enough for parenthood expenses, and life changes. I havent had a "night out" for a long time. I never see my friends. I go to the mall, and see girls my age buying fun new clothes....and it sucks sometimes, because I know I will never be like them again.

My advise, is to enjoy being young and frivolous as much as you can.

First, I understand where you are coming from. I'm there, I've been there for years.

When I first got to this site, I asked about planning to have a child, and got many replies to wait. The advice that actually has made me wait for the last few years is that I should use this time to educate myself about my choices as a parent.

If I hadn't slowed down and let babymaking tke a back seat, I would have made a lot of less than optimal parenting choices. Its been tough at times for the last few years, but I know that now I will be a better parent- not because of my age (you will be great at 15), but becasue I've had time to learn about childbirth and parenting.

In a way I agree with everyone else but tat the same time. My baby was not a mistake. She is not here yet, but I am fully confident in my descision to have a baby. It has been hard trying to conceive I have lost two babies. But I am glad for the experinces and my life to come.

Yes I miss being able to go out drinking with my friends or even my fiance, but I think that it will be worth it in the long run. No one said it would be easy so if you decide to have a baby do NOT think that it will be even remotely easy.

I chose to concieve.
I wouldn't have waited.
She was only born this late in my life by fertility circumstance.
I wish i'd had her even earlier.

If your going to plan on having a baby and nothing we say is going to stop you atleast wait until you have a plan. A plan that consists of where will the child go to daycare? Who will help you raise the child? I didn't read your greetings post but will the BD be in the picture? If not how do you plan on supporting yourself? If he does and leaves later what would you do? Are your parents going to help you? Will they be supportive? Where will you live? Are you ready to give up a carefree lifestyle? What will you do for work or to continue schooling? Can you go to school and work and take care of your child? You need to be able to answer those simple questions, plus so many more. But please please please don't go into this without one. While you can't plan your way through parenthood b/c so many things change day to day you need to know what you would do. Because having a child young limits things and limits what you could do if your situation changed.

you go girl. id like to say that amy is sweet and does know what it takes t obe a mom and is goin to make the sacrifices nessacary to be a mom. shes a great woman and shell be a great mom and hey im trying to concieve too yay well be moms together. and were excited. ha ha ((((babyvibes)))

Don't forget that a baby is only a baby for a year... and then it grows up...

Make sure you don't have a baby just because you like babies, because babies grow up quickly. Have a baby means that you have to be ready and dedicated to raising a human being.

this is true. i liked babies but my little girl was a baby for 9 months. its different to have a terrible two or a teenager. my child is a wonderful experiance but it is something to think about.

Yeah, I also want to add that with wanting a baby - you need to carry a lot of resonsibility. I have faith in everyone who chooses to conceive though. I have a son, and he's two months now, but he won't stay a baby forever. I have to accept he's going to grow, and have a life of his own in 18 + years from now.

If you think you're ready, and you can thoroughly accept the changes to come ahead, then hey, all the more power to you! :D

Good luck mama!

i love babies too, and i love to see them grow. i love caring for my son. i do want another baby, and im trying to conceive now. (((((((baby vibes)))))))