Ok im having a hard time avoiding baby lust. H is 4 now, so lets say I get pregnant within a few months, theyll be 5yrs apart...which is sooo far in my head. Between BD and I we could, with the help(wic/food stamps) of our trusty State help, afford this. And BD and I should be moving in together in January.
I need to start college, and I know it can be done with an infant, and H is in a preschool, but do I want to miss my baby that much? Be that stressed?
Im not listening to logic anymore SOMEONE CONVINCE ME WAITING IS BEST!!!!!!! :roll: :oops: :( :lol:
I can't convince you waiting is best. It's your choice. You know how much work a baby/toddler/preschooler is and if you can handle it and want to have a baby- I support your choice.
No way in hell I would do it though :wink: I am going to school now with a 2 year old and it's soooooo hard.
Ive lost my mind I think :lol:
2 at 18? I mean I know theres girl who have 2 at that age, but do I want some freedom or just to keep doing what I know how to do, be a mommy?
Ahhh its nice to be able to ponder online, lol.
Anyone with 2 have any *frightening* :wink: input?
Well, if you have an infant in college, the daycare issue is very hard to wrangle.
Here's what I've encountered: It's hard to find part time care for an infant. It's hard to find daycare that can coordinates with both the 5 year old's schedule and the infants schedule. it's a pain to deal with two different daycares if you have to go to two different ones- and don't rely on school as daycare, because they have SO many days off. (conferences, teachers inservice, etc)
Also, the issue with needing foodstamps to pass sets off some bells- first, they would go after your BD for child support. and if you are living with him, they would consider his income, which might edge you out of eligibility. Second, since welfare reform, states don't accept school as acceptable training. Most states require you to attend work or "training" to get foodstamps.
They don;t care if you are in college or making your life better. Welfare reform has nothing to do with lifting women out of poverty or feeding children. It has everything to do with punishing poor women and making sure there are plenty of desperate people to work piss wages for large companies.
The best way to look at this would be seeking college loans and pell grants. There is also the cost of college tuition.
College with a baby is possible- I've done it and so have lots of other women- but don't look to the state for help. Look to the school you want to go to for scholarships or financial aid.
Good luck!
I have two that are close to those ages (Ian was four when Jane was born) and the only way I've been able to make it is with extra support from B's family (read: free babysitting) and B didn't work normal hours (he actually dosen't work at all now...) so we were able to get a break on childcare. We survive, but I'm working full time and I have decided to either put off college until Jane is older or just do about three classes a week or an online class type thing. So yeah, my input is probably not all that helpful...
As far as the age thing goes, I think the spacing actually worked out great because Ian is so helpful with Jane and there dosen't seem to be any real rivalry (yet, check back w/ me when she starts defending her toys...)
My SIL got her masters with two kids spaced similar to mine, so yeah it can definately be done, her advice (for me) was to sign up for every scholarship and grant I could possibly qualify for.
i am going to college with one five year old, and it really really is hard... i thought i was getting a break when school started for her, but the above poster is right one... riley is out of school at the least once every other week or so... besides that, it is just so hard to try to study when we are at home together.
im just trying to tell you the reality of it, im not trying to discourage you in the least.
I have a five and a half year old and almost two year old. I go to school full time and work part time and it is HARD. I am very happy that I have both of them though, and they are just getting to the point where they can play together. I think you need to make a choice. Do you want to have a baby now, or do you want to get done with school faster? I chose to have my second child because I wanted them to be close in age and I don't want to "start over" later. I chose to take a year off of school when my son was born and started back slowly, so it added at least a year and a half to my time in school. Weigh your options and do what feels best for you. It sounds like you don't really want another baby now and you just have baby lust. Is there an early head start or something that you could volunteer at? A friend that would like you to babysit while she takes a shower? Maybe you can satisfy your baby lust another way.