Alli

I still think about her every day.

When I was in Paris last week, I went to Notre Dame and bought and lit a candle on the altar of the Virgin Mary for her. Wrote a message to her (Alli) in the little book they had to entrust your thoughts to Mary.

You know, the whole Mary being the patron saint of Girl Moms thing.

It felt right.

I also think of Julie a lot too, because that's what I'm sure Alli would be doing. Or is doing.

Honestly, I think about Alli and Julie every day.
Seriously. Alli changed my life so much, helped to empower me so much, that every time I kiss my baby good bye to go to school, every time I log on to girlmom, every time I'm empowered to stand up to my bd (at least once a week), I think about her.
And, when I think about her, I think about Julie and hope that her day is going well, that she has it a bit easyer this day.

Yes, I think about her. I think about what the boards would look like if she were here. When controversial topics come up, I think about what she would've posted, and wish we still had her perspective. She and I didn't always agree, but her posts were always thought provoking. If you didn't agree with alli, you had to at least think about why, you know? Not too many people can make you do that. I miss that. I miss julie, too. I know it's probably too painful for her to be around here, but I miss her.

I think about her a lot. I think of her every time I know I'm doing something that I should quit doing or confront. Any time I see the moon, or a picture of the ocean, in little things I see around that make me think, every time I see Julie post, I think of her, I think of Julie, Cade, her parents, her friends. I think a tribute to Alli or a collection of her would be great, logging in every day just to see the funeral information seems. incomplete. you know? Like there should be more. Like how life is, there should be more of her, and the entire thing is just so incomplete.

Me too.

I remember thinking it would be real and final when Alli's funeral information was removed from GM's front page.

It is final now though. I think about all of them everyday. I wish she was still here. I wish Julie was still here as well.

I think that when the front page is changed, Julie should be contacted to see if she wants to offer imput.

I agree. Honestly I think that any input from Julie anywhere on this site should be received with great appreciation, as Alli's partner and love, and because of her own significant contribution to this site.

That's a really good idea. We should change the front page...

What do you all think? We can defeinatley ask julie.

I didn't know either of them but reading the words of everyone else is so beautiful. I do know that the funeral announcement on the front page is a little bit sad to see, even for me. Something like a tribute sounds very lovely.

I think that would be very astounding and respectful to give her a tribute. She dedicated much of her life to this site and single handedly changed so many lives. It would be a good way to enter the site with memories of her.

that sounds like a great idea. i bought a virgen de guadalupe candle to light on the day of her funeral and i still have it. i think of her everytime i look at it.

I think that is a great idea to do a tribute to alli. I always feel weird when I see that funeral info too.

I didn't know her personally either

Funny how one person can change a whole community... the whole tribute thing sounds great.

that is the best idea i have ever heard!!!

i don't really post anymore but i saw this link in julie's lj, and i wanted to chime in and say that i miss alli too. there hasn't been a day that's gone by since her passing that i haven't thought of her. my daughter will randomly bring her and julie up, tell me how sad she is alli died and how she wishes she was still alive.
countless things remind me of her, and all of the times we got together run through my head like an old movie. even with my faulty memory, i can remember so clearly so much of what we talked about. even the little things that usually escape memory.
her words will undoubtedly stay with me forever. i hope she knows how grateful i am for her presence and influence in my life. nothing would be the way it is in my personal life, if it weren't for her.

i think a tribute of some kind would be wonderful. it would need to do justice to who she really was. i also think that those of us who were touched by her should write a letter to her little boy, wouldn't it be amazing if he had a box full of letters from women who loved his mama that talked about how she transformed there lives? i know i want to do this, and there's even an lj comm for it.

I wanted to bump this post up because I think about Alli every day too. I did not know her personally but as a lurker of some years, she was my favourite GirlMom and when I heard of her passing, I was shocked. As I said in my "re-introduction" post a while back, the world seems a little less wonderful without her. As someone else mentioned I cannot STAND to see that notice about her funeral whenever I log onto GirlMom. I want to see something empowering in that spot instead... not something to remind me that the world is not a perfect place. Let's bring up that tribute thing again!

"'Twas but a flower too good for Earth; Transplanted into Heaven..." - unknown

so, what needs to be done to make all this happen? the ground work is done and the foundation laid, so who will make it happen?

it is a wonderful idea, and i think of it evertime i see the gm homepage as well.

it seems weird that nothing is there now. one of her essays is on the front page still but i think there should be more something more there. like a quote or this site is dedicated to the memory of our first editor alli crews.

also is girlmom still collecting donations for cade?

i think of her too.

I just pmed mod squad pointing out this thread. [/i]

I am just wondering if someone could tell me who or what alli did because I do not know who she is. But i think it is great that there will be some sort of tribute to her. also who is julie?? i think i may have seen some posts by her but also i am not sure who she is really, but i am sorry for everyones loss.

Alli is the origional editor of girlmom.com. She was an amazing activist & writer. she has some essays in a few compilation books (You Look Too Young to be a Mom, Breeder, Listen Up 2). Julie is her wife/widow & also a former editor/mod here.

I don't mean to be insensitive or anything but what happened to Alli? I read a piece by her and wow she was a talented writer that's for sure. She seems like a person I wish I could have had the chance to have got to known. Everyone here speaks so highly of her, it is just so awesome.

mod_squad said if someone wants to write up something, they can add it to the front page. anyone have any ideas.

I added something to the front page, check it out!

wellbutrin, an anti-depressant, is counterindicated in people with history of eating disorders as the combo increases the risk of siezures.

wellbutrin can be a lifesaver for someone who's taking it under doctors supervision to treat depression.

no one will know for sure why alli died, as the autopsy revealed nothing directly. but apparently she died of a siezure, she didn't have toxic levels of any drugs or medicines. so its prolly a combination of a lot of factors.

i've taken a few lessons to heart:

its important to mother the mothers. if yr friends are doing crazy shinanagins, its important to tell them you care about their health

its important to take meds under docs supervision, and disclose your history of mental health, substance use, and/or eating disorder history to your doctor.

its important to take mental/relationship/physical/emotional health stuff seriously.

so, its not "just" welbutrin, ya know. its a whole history of bad health stuff.

i think a lot about cade, alli's kiddo.